posted December 06, 2004 04:06 PM
WORD POWER
The Washington Post publishes a yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following are some of the recent winning entries:
1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Intaxication (n.), euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie.
7. Sarchasm (n.), the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Giraffiti (n.), describes vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
12. Decaflon (n.), the grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.
14. Dopeler Effect (n.), the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
Lindaland
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posted December 06, 2004 04:06 PM
posted December 06, 2004 04:19 PM
