Posts: 3396
From: Here, there and everywhere.
Registered: Jun 2004

posted January 15, 2005 11:20 PM         

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Hello Knowflakes!
Since this seems to be a time of out-pouring for many, I thought I would share...me.
About 15 years ago, I experienced major depression. At the time, I was very sick, even psychotic. The treatment? E.C.T. treatments and large doses of anti-depressants and anti-psychotics. Followed by to this day, therapy. Why? I believe because I wasn't meant to be the "norm" person. I fought my own internal agenda. This I didn't know until a few years back. The goals we sometimes set for ourselves aren't the goals WE want. They are the goals society says we should strive for. Since we are young, this is what we are told we want. Money, homes, and procreation. This works for some, and they are happy and content, and at peace. But for me. Me? No.
Since the E.C.T. treatments and drugs, I have been blessed with forgetting. My memory from day to day is almost non existant. I do not know what I ate today, or remember what I have said. I do keep written record of what I FEEL is important. I have no hate, grudges, or intense feeling of any kind. For me, this is my new life.
Although I may seem to glamorize this, it also prevents me from knowing what is beyond my world. A world of little stress, or intense elation. So, when I say, something makes sense I do not always experience the actual knowing. I try. This is what I believe I was drawn to LL for. It may take many lifetimes of forums like this for me to KNOW what is truth. This is my time of reckoning with my higher power, and lay the groundwork for my future. My "real" future.
I thank and bless everyone of you who have touched my life. I couldn't ask for more.

On another note... Almost every test posted here, every analysis of personality, every analysis of sun sign, seriously implies I should be in a "helper" role. A charitable person, a doer, a leader, someone who gets out there and physically helps. I am, for whatever reason, not that person. I am reclusive. Maybe in the next lifetime. And who knows, may be this lifetime!
God Bless everyone hwere for their selves, you are teaching me much!
Mary

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Posts: 468
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posted January 15, 2005 11:45 PM         

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peace be with you, soulful bird.

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Posts: 13411
From: *
Registered: Jun 2004

posted January 16, 2005 12:09 AM         

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Phil,

I've said this before and I'll say it again. You are a brilliant soul. You really are. Quick witted, smart, perceptive, generous, a loving beautiful individual. With everything you've been through, it's truly amazing. Your view on life is something others could only wish to have. You are a blessed individual and the fact that you know that, makes it even more so. You know youve touched my life as well. And I'm sure many others. I'm blessed to know you and call you a friend. So, thank you!! For being you. You have taught me much too.

Love ya,
26

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"You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.".,*`~.+,*~`.
~ Friedrich Nietzsche

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Posts: 3396
From: Here, there and everywhere.
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posted January 16, 2005 12:17 AM         

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Thanks!

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posted January 16, 2005 12:21 AM         

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Posts: 1154
From: California
Registered: May 2004

posted January 16, 2005 12:44 AM         

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Granted I think you may have forgotten a few things Philly, like the turtles under the heat lamp, *laughing* but I certainly haven't. You have amazing knowledge, amazing heart and you do help people every single day.

What with your magic dollars, sorting out apartments, Jay and not to mention all of us. All that communication, a reclusive indeed!?!

We are the blessed Philly. You always make me feel good inside and bring a smile to my face. I love you because you are sweet and courageous soul.

Gia

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Posts: 3396
From: Here, there and everywhere.
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posted January 16, 2005 12:53 AM         

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Thanks all. Gia, I am in the process of enrolling in the AIM program. Just need to get full body photos of the family. I really hope this helps. I am open! Relaxed, and awaiting. God bless you for for the introduction! Lea has been very supportive!
Mary

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From: The Boundless
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posted January 16, 2005 10:40 AM         

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From: The Little River Indian Reservation
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posted January 17, 2005 12:46 AM         

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From: Ontario Canada
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posted January 17, 2005 04:24 PM         

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I didn't see this until now.
to you. Thanks for sharing everything you do.

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From: Heaven
Registered: Dec 2004

posted January 17, 2005 05:49 PM         

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Lots of Love Philbird!

You are certainly courageous! And always so willing to give!

And I love your sense of humor!

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"And dreams, don't ever forget, are the first step in manifesting wishes into reality"-- Linda Goodman's Star Signs

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posted January 18, 2005 10:54 AM         

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Blessed indeed!!

You are a gift to this lifetime! Thank you for letting us know you!!

Ghani

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