posted March 18, 2005 04:58 PM         

I'm... a waitress. I'm... not married. I... have a child. I'm... still in school. Why, oh why do I even care about this?! It doesn't bother me any other day. I'm picturing it now-- Them: We have fabulous careers and tons of money. Me: I have the same job I did in high school and I'm lucky I could afford to buy a new outfit. Them: (looks of disgust)

Of course it's really not going to go this way and things aren't that bad for me. But I've slipped into comparison mode! These questions will inevitably come up and I don't know how to respond and still keep my pride intact. Anyone else want to share their high school reunion experiences?

posted March 19, 2005 09:39 AM         

be well and be confident.

posted March 19, 2005 12:49 PM         

Laglady, you're right. I do have a lot of things I'm happy with in my life. Personally, I am glad I didn't take the "normal" route (I use the term loosely). I have very much enjoyed these last ten years. It just feels like all of a sudden I'm looking for a way to condense that into a response to "so, what have you done since graduation?" It'll be alright, though. I'm not hugely worried about it overall, but I know I will be at the moment when it comes!

I'm looking forward to going-- I haven't seen anyone since graduation. On the plus side, I'm told that I've "aged" well! (So stick THAT in your expensive cigar and smoke it!)<------- How's that for superficial! I guess I'm not immune.

Thanks for humoring me, everyone. I'll let you all know how it goes.

Anyone else want to share their experience?

posted March 19, 2005 01:57 PM         

When I went to my reunion I had already graduated from college, lived in two other states and was living on the East Coast in suburbia holding down a great job.

The thing was, I had changed. I was no longer like my typical Orange County (The OC), Cali classmates.

I've never had a boob job, or plastic surgery (many of the women there already had it done, even my ex-boyfriends new wife had fake D-cups). Since my fiance at the time was a DNA lab supervisor, he couldn't go with me to the Cali reunion, so I just drove up myself to the posh hotel LOL...There were rows of limos with my old classmates being dropped off, wearing Prada and Dior..etc..

It was a big joke. I knew that many of them put themselves in financial stress to pay for all that..and for WHAT? Just to show off...just to give the appearance that they were successful. Just being around that atmosphere made me sick. My ex looked and me and said 'How is it you haven't even aged at all?' LOL..he was already 40lbs heavier and bald. I still get carded (I am 35) ..LOL..

I ended up leaving. I walked out...never looked back and drove home. I called my fiance and said "I can't believe I used to care about what those people thought, was I really so vapid?"

Go in, hold your head up and high and be proud of who you are and that you don't need to put up a fake front!!!

------------------

Better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.
Andre Gide

"Lahn dádzaayú nahikai leh ni' nyelíí k'ehge," Goyathlay (Geronimo)

"Once we moved like the Wind"

posted March 19, 2005 09:20 PM         

You are a success..because you have come this far and done it on your own. You should be commended for raising a child and still going to school / working. That says alot, because you turned an adversity into something beautiful. Not many people could do that, not without being bitter...and from what I can sense from you and your posts, you are not a bitter person.

In the end, you will go farther than you thought, mainly because you met challenges head on and handled the discouragement.

posted March 25, 2005 11:33 AM         

A couple of weeks beforehand I heard that a couple of teachers wanted to come along, one of whom was controversial because of rumours about her and another teacher, and that certain people were objecting to her presence. The organiser rang me, rather stressed, wondering if she'd done the right thing in inviting them.
"Well," I said, "if they want to come, there's no reason why they should be made to feel they're not welcome. They know the score, they've been in our shoes, we're adults, after all, it's not like we're children any more. And in any case, it's being held in memory of our friend, so that's the most important part." Thankfully, I think I managed to de-stress the organiser!! Sorry, but I really can't stand non-inclusiveness of the "oh, we don't want THEM" type. (It makes you wonder what they say about you.)

Anyway, it all went well, and everyone was nice to each other and had a good time exchanging memories. There wasn't any atmosphere of "point-scoring", whatever people might have thought privately. I had been used to being on my own and fighting my own corner at school in any case, so I had plenty of confidence just being myself. But it's interesting to look around and try to divulge people's characters, and realize glaring facts that you didn't before. For example, they might not really have that much self-confidence - for good reasons - and try to hide it. And for whatever reason, you can't judge them harshly. Because they may have been treated badly by their partners, or grown up without both their parents. Or they might be incredibly dense - but they might actually privately feel quite bad about that fact. So they act like Stifler in "American Pie" (well, maybe not quite as badly).

It all really depends on the attitude with which one approaches a reunion. If one is cool, relaxed, honest and confident in oneself, then one shouldn't be bothered about what others might think.