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Author
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Topic: nothin goin on but the rent
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moonshine
Knowflake Posts: 599
From: UK
Registered: Oct 2004
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posted April 25, 2005 05:40 PM
 
Hi people, well I've been FULLY single now for about 2 months I'd say... now that all the loose ends have been cut from the longest, most drawn-out pointless break-up/make-up/FAKE-up etc in history, which lasted for about four years becuase i couldnt let go.. i realise most of the six-year relationship we had was in my head. I mean it WAS real, but the connection that I thought we had was mostly in my head, I think. I can see now that we weren't right for each other, we didnt have as much in common as I imagined, he's not as intersting as I thought, we weren't this 'Bonnie and clyde' type couple I saw us as ( in my head). IT WAS ALL IN MY STUPID HEAD!!! Damn pisces moon filling in all the gaps for me - is there any way I can cut out my moon? It does me no favours when it comes to relationships)Anyway I feel like I can finally look forward to a new man - without guilt. But I feel too emotionally drained and can't be bothered with all that 'getting to know you' crap, its too hard, and I havent the energy for it any more. anyway, just wanted to say hi and... urrm... sorry about all that 'leaving' crap.. my brain kinda imploded in my head.. (I am one of those people who live in a 'bubble' (described by Azalaksh in another thread, only my bubble's made of unbreakable glass and often I feel like Im suffocating in it or else Im banging my head against it) Or worse, others bang THEIR heads trying to get close to me. Anyway, if you've read this far then you can tell I never really went away. I love this forum too much. sorry for starting another thread about 'MOI'. I'll stop my incesant rambling now 
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neptune's mermaid
Knowflake Posts: 1069
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted April 25, 2005 06:02 PM
Awww Moonshine, a Pisces Moon isn’t that bad. My mum and best friend have it  and actually they’re pretty grounded.A break up from a six year relationship would be hard on anyone, you should move at your own pace. I really shouldn’t give you any advice in that area though - as I’m completely fickle  Anyway, glad your staying. There aren’t enough Cancers around   IP: Logged |
LibraSparkle
Knowflake Posts: 6034
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted April 25, 2005 06:57 PM
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Philbird
Knowflake Posts: 3396
From: Here, there and everywhere.
Registered: Jun 2004
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posted April 25, 2005 07:17 PM
Here, Here!IP: Logged |
merratti
Knowflake Posts: 56
From: Ny USA
Registered: Mar 2005
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posted April 25, 2005 07:25 PM
Hi Moon,
I am new here,but welcome back!!!
I understand your not looking foward to all the"getting to know you" crap.
My way of dealing with that was chasing people away by the truth of who and what I am.LOL
Anyway,to my amazement,,,someone loved me for me,inspite of me.Now,I have a finace who thinks I am a queen,and being a leo this suits me just fine.
Also,he was like meeting an old old friend.So I think when the time and the person is right,just be who and what you are.From what I can tell from one post,YOU are a wonderful person deserving of a great love...be hopeful!IP: Logged |
moonshine
Knowflake Posts: 599
From: UK
Registered: Oct 2004
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posted April 26, 2005 06:34 PM
Thank you, reading what i wrote it was such a crap post to come back with  NM: you are such a sweetheart! You always try to cheer me up when I'm down. Thank you very much. (((big hugs to you))) merretti, thank you for your kind words, I wish I could be as truthful with others as you but I find it hard to take the truth about myself first before i can trust others with it. Thats my big problem. I feel I have so many secrets Im better off alone. I guess I've never liked myself very much, thats why I tend to escapism too much. I realise I never let my ex see me for who i really am, I dont think he really knew *me*.. guess thats why we never really progressed during that whole time... Christ this is getting too deep.  Oh well, maybe I'll do better next time. IP: Logged |
Gooberzlostlovefound
Knowflake Posts: 1205
From: and the embers never fade in your city by the lake
Registered: Jan 2002
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posted April 26, 2005 07:58 PM
moonshine~ Sounds like you've gone through a lot. Be kind to yourself. You are doing your best. And when you are "meant" to meet someone new, it'll happen, there's no rush for now, right? It's only been 2 months. You probably need some time to digest your experiences and come to terms with everything. No need to put pressure on yourself. I think you are a great presence here at LL, and I'm always happy to read your posts.  IP: Logged |
moonshine
Knowflake Posts: 599
From: UK
Registered: Oct 2004
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posted April 29, 2005 04:33 PM
Thanks Goobers yes you're right, I'm not going to let myself get all bitter... that would be a waste. I've actually been single for longer than that but as it was an "on-off" thing for so long,, Im not really sure... the two months refers to the realisation within me that its over, and my feelings have changed, I dont feel the same way about this person who so consumed me for so long... and I thank God for that!  IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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