posted April 30, 2005 07:17 AM         

Thats why each and every one of them will find a way to ask you, real subtly, "Honey, I know what you women say, but really, does size matter?"

Tee hee

posted April 30, 2005 01:29 PM         

The following is a public service announcement...for women:

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex, food, cars or football. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss an entire show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator)...applies to engineers mainly.

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.... and if you are feeling amorous afterwards...then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2005, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest... like looking for my socks, or like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.

posted April 30, 2005 03:16 PM         

OK, let's see:

If he's Aries, Leo or Scorpio and that's not likely...then make your apologies in bed

If he's Sagittarius...not likely either....they like to travel so take him out of town, then make your apologies in bed.

If he's Taurus...not too likely....make him a great dinner..then make your apologies in bed.

If he's Gemini...not too likely either, tell him in the most flowery language possible that you're sorry and promise not to interrupt him when he's talking.

If he's Libra...not likely either, same as Gemini but let him win the next argument errrr discussion.

If he's Capricorn, possible but not probable...buy him something very nice..not necessarily something big but the finest example of whatever it is and surprise him with the gift and apology.

If he's Virgo, not probable...surprise him by going through all his cabinets and lining up all his things in exact rows...same for the magazines on his table. Spatial exactness is very important so use a tape measure....then apologize humbly.

If he's Aquarius, not too likely....take him someplace unusual...like a new gadgets convention or a Trekkie convention. Then apologize.

If he's Cancer...very possible, then make your apologies in bed and surprise him with breakfast in bed, Eggs Benedict, waffles and all the trimmings. Nothing says lovin like something from the kitchen.

If he's Pisces, probable...apologize while telling him how men from your past have abused your good nature and made you argumentative, hard and cynical. You get extra points for tears.

But, none of that is going to solve the problem of next time Are you sure you really want the worlds most sensitive...loving man? Or would you prefer a man who next time you're over the line gets in your face and tells you how it really is

posted April 30, 2005 05:05 PM         

I just hope he remembers through out how much I love him and need him to brighten my day.

And yes, maybe he should take my advice and tell me what a Venus Mars conjunct in Aries in the 8th hoof in mouff idiot I am!!!

Although ... he does have a first house moon and that does give him that special lunar quality. I think I'll cook him a nice goodies basket to along with the luuuvin ...

posted May 01, 2005 01:36 AM         

Two out of three ain't bad, but 3 out of three is sublime. Sometimes, we need that slap that says, "hey buster/missy, you're over the line".

posted May 01, 2005 03:23 AM         

quote:

---

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss an entire show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator)...applies to engineers mainly.

---

ROFL

posted May 01, 2005 03:51 PM         

Doesnt mean he is not strong when it matters if he is full of TLC!!!

posted May 01, 2005 05:36 PM         

So jwhop, are we beginning what is known around here as an "intellectual" disagreement? Cause if we are, count me in! My Uranus on the Yod is raring for a healthy "discusson" and that Martian conjunction is already up in armor!