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Author
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Topic: Kids and cleaning their room
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LibraSparkle
Knowflake Posts: 6034
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted May 03, 2005 09:00 AM
 
How do you get them to do it?I send my kids to their room to clean and sometimes their in there for days. They just goof around. They'll even make a bigger mess. It's so frustrating. I don't know what else to do. I've tried spanking, taking privileges, taking their belongings... it's almost as though they know I can't make them do it. Any suggestions? IP: Logged |
Bluemoon
Knowflake Posts: 4456
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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posted May 03, 2005 09:05 AM
no suggestions! Sorry! I will even ask my cappy daughter, "did you clean up? are all the dirty clothes out of your room?" and she says"Yes"! only to find them under the bed. then her response is "oh I forgot" So all Cappy kids have their pants on fire?IP: Logged |
proxieme
unregistered
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posted May 03, 2005 09:31 AM
Beat them.IP: Logged |
proxieme
unregistered
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posted May 03, 2005 09:36 AM
OK, no, don't beat them.Well, I can tell you what my Mom did:
She'd go in and make an even *bigger* mess, reasoning, I suppose, that we couldn't live in that level of filth and would initiate picking it up on our own.
If she was feeling especially frisky she'd sit in there and drive us until it got done. I'm not sure that either of those are the best approach, though - I have a matched luggage set of baggage from my childhood. I'd say (with the vast repository of experience that I have being the Mom of a 1-year-old...ha) just find the thing(s) that they'd most miss and take it ('em) away.
Stick to it.
Stick to it even if it pains you more than it pains them.
They'll either eventually come around or learn that they didn't really need that thing in the first place. IP: Logged |
maya-v
Knowflake Posts: 1534
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted May 03, 2005 09:48 AM
I have an idea ... make it a contest! The cleanest room gets the first prize! And make the prize count - make it educational, fun and something they always wanted and would really enjoy! Wont hrut to try right? Then you could set a system - maybe stars, or gifts or something else to motivate them. IP: Logged |
Eleanore
Moderator Posts: 2512
From: Japan
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted May 03, 2005 10:31 AM
The only way my mom could make my sister and I clean our room(s) when we were little and didn't want to was by sitting in there with us the entire time and telling us what to do next, etc. Eventually she left us on our own (around 12/13) to see if we'd do it ourselves once she gave the order. She had a harder time with my sister than with me ... I'm a pretty neat person (organized messes count as neat  ) so all I really needed to do was actually clean while my sister is rather a slob both ways. If we took too long to clean and organize (like a week after she'd been on our case about it) she'd go in there while we were outside playing or whatever and then clean herself ... in the process completely rearranging everything and tossing a bunch of things out. When we saw our rooms we'd be so angry ... she had thrown out all sorts of notes (like, from friends), drawings, writings, sometimes even homework that was just laying around, and had proceeded to rearrange everything in the most bizarre way. It only happened a couple of times to me as I can't stand having anyone go through my personal things and throw stuff out or rearrange it haphazardly. My sister took longer but in the end she got fed up too and we eventually learned to do it on our own. The only thing that we did not learn to do in a timely manner was our laundry, hehe.  But our rooms were clean!------------------
"This above all:
to thine own self be true,
And it must follow,
as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false
to any man." - Shakespeare IP: Logged |
Bluemoon
Knowflake Posts: 4456
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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posted May 03, 2005 11:34 AM
lol, Maya! That is what my older, Libra Sister did. "You 2 have a contest to see who can clean up fastest" she would just watch. IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted May 03, 2005 12:17 PM
yeah.. how?My little Sag is the most unorganized, flippant, forgetful little man there ever was.
He gets an allowance.. if he 'forgets' to clean his room, the money motivator taken away usually does the trick.
Usually. IP: Logged |
Irish Eyes
Knowflake Posts: 461
From: PA,USA
Registered: Apr 2004
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posted May 03, 2005 12:21 PM
I gave up with the 11 year old PiscesI just remind him that the mess need not travel outside the doorway and down the stairs. When it gets real bad, I go in the room and take everything that is lying on the floor and but it in a garbage bag. Then he has to do chores to earn money to pay the "randsom". Seems to work and keep the room from being a fire hazard! IP: Logged |
Isis
Knowflake Posts: 1922
From: CA
Registered: Jan 2004
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posted May 03, 2005 01:26 PM
Wow, I thought I was the only one that did that when I was a kid  I would be told I couldn't go out and play until I cleaned my room, so I would spend weeks in my room after school just reading and playing barbies. Finally, when I got sick of playing by myself (usually around the 3 week threshold), I would clean it up, usually by trying to shove things behind the headboard, under the bed, behind the dresser, in the closet. What I needed actually was my Mom in there, like someone else mentioned, saying, "ok do this next...now this"...showing me how to prioritize and work through the mess. It was just so overwhelming that I just wouldn't know where to begin. I think some kids can't necessarily naturally organize and prioritize, they have to be taught, and cleaning up a bombsite of a bedroom can be overwhelmingly intimidating to a kid. Now I'm a neat freak...go figure hahaha IP: Logged |
Philbird
Knowflake Posts: 3396
From: Here, there and everywhere.
Registered: Jun 2004
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posted May 03, 2005 02:33 PM
I shared a room with two other sisters. We were pretty poor, so not much stuff lying around. We'd put hampster food down for the mice and watch them come out of the walls and eat it.
My son has a very neat and clean bedroom. It's the rest of the house he trashes! I decided I was sick of telling him to pick up after himself, so the two day old bowl of coco puffs in milk are still on the coffee table. I'm not touching it! IP: Logged |
LibraSparkle
Knowflake Posts: 6034
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted May 03, 2005 08:11 PM
Wow! Thanks for all the responses!They share a room for right now, so making it a contest won't really work. I like the idea of staying in there and directing... that's something I haven't really tried, and I'll bet they HATE it.  **Tries on her best Drill Sergeant voice**  Isis, If you so choose, you will be a great Mama. I think you're absolutely right. They get overwhelmed with the mess and don't know where to start or how to prioritize.  Thanks, chica. Pix, Cutting the allowance is another great idea. The girls get $5/week. They'd sure miss it if it were gone. Prox, Okay... I won't beat them. You almost had me convinced. 
I don't think I'm going to make a bigger mess... too time consuming. If I'm going to make the effort, I may as well clean it for them. Oooh, I bet you were mad at your mom when she did that to you. Again, I really like that driving them idea though. Irish Eyes, That "ransom" idea was funny. I like that too... have to do extra stuff to earn things back. Awesome! So... yeah... I have a lot of great ideas to work with here. Thanks so much, you guys!
IP: Logged |
BlueRoamer
Knowflake Posts: 3944
From: Calm Blue Ocean, Calm Blue Ocean
Registered: Jun 2003
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posted May 03, 2005 10:53 PM
Pix:
"My little Sag is the most unorganized, flippant, forgetful little man there ever was."
I am your son. I always used to "forget" to anything that wasn't interesting to me. Often, I did really forget because I was so focused/intrigued by something else.
I still "forget" to pay the bills IP: Logged |
FishKitten
Knowflake Posts: 1033
From: on the trail of the Old Ones
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted May 03, 2005 11:31 PM
For quite a few years I cleaned it with him every evening. We had a special room-cleaning song that we sang while we did it and we danced around doing our room-cleaning dance. Afterward we had milk and cookies for a reward and then off to bath time. After that, hot supper and time to go to sleep. After he got older, he just always picked things up before dinner out of habit. Still does to this day and he is 24. His future wife owes me big. lolIP: Logged |
Thorshammer
Moderator Posts: 1026
From: salt lake city, utah, USA
Registered: Nov 2004
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posted May 04, 2005 01:19 AM
i think there is something about the enclosure of a room that just freaks a kid out. they mess it up, but when you ask them to clean, they just sit there like you said, as if in a depressed state.....I usually direct, but grounding them to the room when they get home from school seems to make them clean it up really fast, they dont wanna be stuck in there everyday, cause its like a cage, thats what I think or have observed.IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted May 04, 2005 01:45 AM
Fishkitten, you are a wonderful mommy.  Blueroamer~ I still forget to pay the bills too. I think if I don't want to they will just go away.. I have this thing for fantasies.....
You are my son?
That's fa-reaky, considering you are only a few years younger than me...
Hey.. my Son's a Sag, Aries rising, Scorpio Moon.... I think you and I talked about this before... IP: Logged |
miss_apples
Knowflake Posts: 632
From: white bear lake, MN, USA
Registered: Oct 2004
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posted May 04, 2005 01:54 AM
My mom would ground me out of my room if I didnt clean it. She'd make me sleep on the couch and then give me a chance to clean it the next day. If I didnt clean it again...then I'd have to sleep on the couch again.IP: Logged |
Isis
Knowflake Posts: 1922
From: CA
Registered: Jan 2004
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posted May 04, 2005 02:30 PM
quote:
If you so choose, you will be a great Mama.
Aww  Thanks LS! I very much hope to be a Mom one day, but that clock is ticking and I'm getting divorced so...  Got my fingers crossed though IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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