Posts: 1382
From:
Registered: Oct 2004

posted May 16, 2005 08:54 AM         

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One can say i am after men.
I just cant survive without loving someone.
its pathetic. just when i came out of a disastrous relationship after many years of struggle, i am into another indecisive relationship..! Its like crying is my hobby.
why i am after men who are obviously not into me? why i dont feel anything romantic for men who loves me like anything? (All my guy friends fall into this category.)
why do i hang on to relationships in hope that he'll start loving me one day..!
why do i am turned on by men who wanted me only in bed?
If only i was not obsessed by love..!

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Posts: 867
From: Just left of center
Registered: May 2004

posted May 16, 2005 11:41 PM         

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Maybe you should (and I immediately chastize myself for saying the SHOULD word), try loving yourself first. Trust me, you will not die without a man for while. I mean if the relationships are so bad...how bad could being completely out of one for awhile be? Might give you some breathing space...time to figure out why you are drawn to the bad guys.
Wish the best for you.

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Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004

posted May 17, 2005 11:04 AM         

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I too felt like you most of my life, I was fortunate enough to try different therapies and really work thro my blocks, to cut a long story short,the relationship with the father figured strongly in my relationships with lovers, trying to always fill up that empty space that never got filled as a little one. Now in my 40s I am beginning to feel more "whole" and relaxed with being me. Its been a long road, but worth the discovery - good luck to you honey, love from Sue x x x x x x x

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Posts: 1007
From: Golden, CO
Registered: Nov 2004

posted May 17, 2005 02:05 PM         

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sweetlibra,
A friend saw your post and, immediately, identified with these feelings. She was the victim of abuse as a child. Her advice, should this be your situation, is to face your inner conflicts and, this will begin the , necessary process, of healing. Then and, only then, will you find a stong, healthy and, true love relationship. She sends strength in her thoughts and, understanding of what you may be facing.

Be Well, SweetLibra

~ geminstone

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Posts: 62
From: London
Registered: Apr 2005

posted May 17, 2005 04:19 PM         

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Sweetlibra~

I also am attracted to men I cant have and I just put it down to craving excitement in relationships. I believe once youve had your fill of bad boys, and the right man comes along, it will all be fine.

Its OK to be into love. But if its as a result of trying to escape yourself, then it is best to deal with those issues before they creep up and bite you in the behind later on in life.

Try not to analyse those feelings too much. Just enjoy the ride*

*Absolutely no pun intended.

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Posts: 1382
From:
Registered: Oct 2004

posted May 20, 2005 12:21 AM         

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Saturn's Child, till 22 i didnt have any boyfriend. I was pretty happy but lonely. Now also i am not drawn to every man but those who r misterious and do not express their feelings. I am very harsh on my self. I seldom forgive myself for the mistakes i commit. U r right, if i start loving myself, i wont search it outside

sue, Its my relationship with my mother thats manifesting in my relationships. I am trying to fill that emptiness. Its not a wonder that the guy i am involved at present has the most loving mother i have ever known.! Thanks sue, i have to go a long way

Hi geminstone,
I faced emotional abuse in my teens and negligence in my childhood. I have been dealing with this issue since then. But i cant get away from this unwanted feeling.
my love to your friend

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Try not to analyse those feelings too much. Just enjoy the ride
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Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted May 20, 2005 02:11 AM         

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Good luck sweet libra.

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Posts: 366
From:
Registered: Dec 2004

posted May 20, 2005 03:55 AM         

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here you go

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Posts: 1382
From:
Registered: Oct 2004

posted May 20, 2005 06:21 AM         

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Thanks Pix and Monad

------------------
Happiness is like a butterfly.
The more you chase it,
The more it will elude it.
But if you turn your attention to other things,
it comes softly and sits on your shoulders...

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Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004

posted May 20, 2005 06:30 AM         

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Sending love to you Sweetlibra, may you find the healing needed "to fill the void". I am with you on this honey, been there, suffered like you'd never know, thank god for faith and healing

"Religion is for those who are afraid of going to hell, spirituality is for those who have been there

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Posts: 1382
From: Portland, OR
Registered: Jan 2004

posted May 22, 2005 10:04 PM         

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Sweetlibra - sending you love. I've been there tooo

sueg - love your quote

kisses
Laura

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Posts: 422
From: Australia
Registered: Apr 2001

posted May 23, 2005 10:02 AM         

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Sweetlibra
I've been there too...heck, I'm still there! attracted to the bad ones, and only wanting to be friends with the "good" ones.

I wonder often whether it's my own fear of commitment that holds me back...with the bad one's I get to feel like I'm the "good" one & with the "good" one's I feel I have no justifiable 'out' & I will be the "bad" one if it all goes pear shape.
I suppose I'm just not ready yet...& accepting that (and that, that's ok is an important step forward) If it will happen (finding the right guy); then it will happen...until then I will live life to the fullest, love, cry, feel & play until I'm ready to believe again. Loving one's self is not straightforwardly easy; but it gives you the confidence to say "no" to the wrong ones.
good luck sweetie...loving thoughts headed your way!
hug
Aus

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Posts: 1382
From:
Registered: Oct 2004

posted May 25, 2005 07:22 AM         

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thanks Australdi

------------------
Happiness is like a butterfly.
The more you chase it,
The more it will elude it.
But if you turn your attention to other things,
it comes softly and sits on your shoulders...

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Posts: 68
From: eastcoast australia
Registered: Oct 2004

posted May 27, 2005 10:29 PM         

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babe, this is what fixed it for me (for now), mentally remove heart and replace with boxing gloves. Words don't mean much to me when it comes to love, it's the actions i look for. This may not be much use to u, but it works in my world. (self protection such as this drastic method doesn't let crap in anymore)

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Posts: 1382
From:
Registered: Oct 2004

posted May 30, 2005 03:59 AM         

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Hi raihs,
Words mean very much to me..!
I should also repalce heart with boxing gloves (at least kitchen gloves )

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