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Author Topic:   Your Zodiacal B*tch Rating!!!!
Saturn's Child
Knowflake

Posts: 867
From: Just left of center
Registered: May 2004

posted August 07, 2005 06:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Saturn's Child     Edit/Delete Message
Someone gave me a book called "Darkside Zodiac" by Stella Hyde. She explores, with some humor, the darkside of sun signs, moons, Venus, Mars, etc. She warns that those with low self esteem may get their egos bruised while reading the book. I found most of to be pretty funny and a lot of it to be right on. Anyway, she gives each sign a b*tch rating. She was right on for Gemini, and with my moon in Aqua and Cappy rising I guess I am a REAL B*TCH!!!
Who knew?
So here they are, see if yours is right....and no hurt feelings, ok? It's just for fun!

Aries C+ Think about it. B*tchery demands sublitity and finesse, neither of which your Bad Fairy Godmother left in your cradle. If you want to say something nasty about someone you don't sneak around, you just open your mouth and blast away! Refreshing, in a strange way.

Taurus C+ Others think this is because you are naturally kind and charitable, but they are wrong. It's not that you don't want to b*tch, you're just too slow-witted to really make an impact. When you do try, you make dull painful remarkes about other peoples lack of fashion sense or money.

Gemini A++ We bow to the zodiac's B*tch Queen/King! Your lightening rapier zigzags with such sparkling wit & style that many b*tchees don't notice they've been slashed for at least three weeks, and your apologies are always so transparantly heartfelt & sincere!

Cancer B+ For someone who likes to present as the Caring Queen/King, you are a mistress/master of the snappy put-down. (you sit at home in your shell practicing) You usually spoil the effect by muttering your pearls of acid wit under your breath as the b*tchee departs, and then grovel immediately.

Leo B++ Why b*tch? You are the royalty! You know that magnanimous praise, "she does so well with what little she's got" can inflict as much collateral damage as up front abuse; but, of course, when you do condesend to go in for catty remarks, they are always big catty remarks!

Virgo A+ Not quite in Gemini's class, but a worthy silver medalist! Premier cru spite is let down by lumpy delivery, even slow b*tchees can't fail to get the point and are liable to deck you, especially if they are Aries. The trick is to slash and run, but you always stick around to make sure the fine points have been rammed home.

Libra A+ or D Depends on where you're standing, really. You'd never dream of saying anything nasty to anyone's face, (they might slap you and leave an ugly mark). Instead, you whisper poisonous remarks behind your victim's back about their bad hair or unsightly shoes.

Scorpio A+ People are so frightened of you that you don't have to bother much, but what's the point of a stinger in the tail if you don't use it? You study the psychology of the individuals, can pinpoint all those tectonic weaknesses where reality meets ego and self-loathing runs near the surface. That's where you make your surgical strikes.

Sagittarius D- But, it's difficult. You don't b*tch within the meaning of the term, but what you lack in subletity and finesse, you make up for in crudity and bluntness, blurting out jaw-dropping rude remarks without thinking, (Oh Yeah?) So the end result is still someone, you or them, sobbing in the restroom.

Capricorn B+ You don't really have the spontenaity to b*tch since it is undignified, but you write excoriating emails and sharply worded letters to the more respected newspapers when you feel your status has been impuned. Your inner goat has no such scruples, however, especially after a few glasses of wine.

Aquarius A- Theoretically a high-ranker, but you don't bother much because for a smart one liner king/queen like you it's just like shooting fish in a very small barrel. But, if you find a worthy foe & there is an appreciative audience on hand, you are like Cyrano de Bergerac and pulp their ego to mush with vicious sarcasm.

Pisces A- Stealth-class submarine b*tchery! You're so wishy-washy topside, people underestimate the powerful emotional location system that allows you to hook directly into other's weakest points and go in with a spiteful trident. You always hit below the waterline and leave a slow corrosive poison in the victim's system.



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Bluemoon
Knowflake

Posts: 4456
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005

posted August 07, 2005 07:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Bluemoon     Edit/Delete Message
2 funny SSaturn's CHild!! I got a B+

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WaterNymph
Knowflake

Posts: 2276
From: London, UK
Registered: May 2005

posted August 07, 2005 08:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for WaterNymph     Edit/Delete Message

I need to read that book.
btw what's her sign?

------------------
aka Neptune’s Mermaid, NM, WN, Nurse Neptune, Waternixie, Nepsnympe and deputy #6

“If you see me with a man understand that you can’t question me
The feelings that you caught ain’t my fault can’t help your jealousy”
- Xtina ;)

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leoelf
Knowflake

Posts: 574
From: In My Head
Registered: May 2005

posted August 07, 2005 08:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for leoelf     Edit/Delete Message
I only got a B+=?!?!?!?

Can a curse some people out here for extra credit?

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WaterNymph
Knowflake

Posts: 2276
From: London, UK
Registered: May 2005

posted August 07, 2005 08:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for WaterNymph     Edit/Delete Message
If I admit that I cheated - because I was sitting next to both Gemini & Virgo AND in front of Libra and behind Scorpio - will you lower my mark?

Or better yet fail me?

------------------
aka Neptune’s Mermaid, NM, WN, Nurse Neptune, Waternixie, Nepsnympe and deputy #6

“If you see me with a man understand that you can’t question me
The feelings that you caught ain’t my fault can’t help your jealousy”
- Xtina ;)

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Saturn's Child
Knowflake

Posts: 867
From: Just left of center
Registered: May 2004

posted August 07, 2005 09:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Saturn's Child     Edit/Delete Message
leoelf...that's a very respectable rating!
After all, you are of royal lioness blood!
You must hold your head higher than the rest of us b*tches!!!

WaterNymph...come on now, there's nothing wrong with a little b*tchiness...makes things more interesting....besides don't you love the stealth aspect??


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MoonDuchess88
Knowflake

Posts: 692
From:
Registered: Mar 2005

posted August 08, 2005 12:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonDuchess88     Edit/Delete Message
A B+, that's it? WTF?

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ariestiger
Knowflake

Posts: 1136
From: UK
Registered: Jan 2004

posted August 08, 2005 03:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ariestiger     Edit/Delete Message
So tops are the Water and Air signs (suppose it has to do with how upfront signs want to be on average, & whether they want to avoid confrontation.) Bottom = the Fire signs. Interesting, as I always thought aggression counted towards the definition of a "b*tch".

I have to say my rating seems fairly accurate. Even if I do say s/th behind s/one's back, I have usually said it to their face beforehand. I can't stand two-facedness.

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BlueRoamer
Knowflake

Posts: 3944
From: Calm Blue Ocean, Calm Blue Ocean
Registered: Jun 2003

posted August 08, 2005 06:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueRoamer     Edit/Delete Message
I think it's defining ***** by seeming aloof and unangry while making incisive witty comments that are negative but aren't that obvious. We fire signs just tend to spit everything out and its extremely obvious how angry we are. I've tried to battle scorpios (they often drop the harshest of insults) but its impossible, they always come back with somethign more horrible. Sometimes scorpios I know will drop an insult at me immediately upon seeing me, I think because they can tell I'm happy..I still love scorpios but man, they are kinda mean sometimes.

I never noticed virgos to be that creative with insults...I feel like I can outdo any but the water signs, they have a way of finding the greatest weaknessess....maybe its just that they are water and I"m fire

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ariestiger
Knowflake

Posts: 1136
From: UK
Registered: Jan 2004

posted August 08, 2005 06:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ariestiger     Edit/Delete Message
I just get bored with behind-the-back behaviour, BR...LOL. I always figure it is their own insecurities (usually true), and the fact that they don't have enough balls to come at me directly and thrash it out...I just see it as wimpish and pathetic I used to go to an all-girls' school and couldn't keep up with the undercurrents, it seemed infantile...

My Cancer MIL does it all the time but she knows what I think of it and I don't expect anything more (sic) from her, I just let her play all by herself!!

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sweetlibra
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Posts: 1382
From:
Registered: Oct 2004

posted August 08, 2005 07:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweetlibra     Edit/Delete Message
I am a mix of Aqua and Taurus

Too slow-witted to be an on-the-spot ***** I think of a good bitchy line after half an hour and sigh lol

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Sun_Scorpion
Knowflake

Posts: 1768
From: UK
Registered: Aug 2003

posted August 08, 2005 10:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sun_Scorpion     Edit/Delete Message

Scorp Sun- A+
Gem Moon - A++
Libra Asc- A+ or D
LOL!! Better watch out then....

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Saturn's Child
Knowflake

Posts: 867
From: Just left of center
Registered: May 2004

posted August 08, 2005 10:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Saturn's Child     Edit/Delete Message
WaterNymph...Stella Hyde describes herself as a grudge-bearing Cancer who is tired of being called the Mother of the Universe.

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Bluemoon
Knowflake

Posts: 4456
From: Stafford, VA USA
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posted August 08, 2005 10:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Bluemoon     Edit/Delete Message

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Saturn's Child
Knowflake

Posts: 867
From: Just left of center
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posted August 08, 2005 06:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Saturn's Child     Edit/Delete Message
Sun Scorp....Alpha B*tch! Love it!

Beautiful Mother of the Universe pic, Bluemoon!!

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pidaua
Knowflake

Posts: 7314
From: Schweinfurt to Grafenwoehr all within 6 months LOL
Registered: May 2002

posted August 08, 2005 07:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pidaua     Edit/Delete Message
LOL.... Well having a Sag Sun (D-) and Aries Moon (C+) doesn't make me a super-b*tch...darn.. BUT... having that Virgo (A+) ascendant may help a bit. LOL...

The thing is... and I wonder if this is true with most Saggies, when I am P.O'd and try to say something I still have this stupid grin (most of the time) so people kind of laugh.

I have to be REALLY angry for people (at least in person) to finally see how angry I am. LMAO

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WaterNymph
Knowflake

Posts: 2276
From: London, UK
Registered: May 2005

posted August 09, 2005 08:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for WaterNymph     Edit/Delete Message
LMAO @ Mother of the Universe quote & BM pic
Love your sense of humour.

Sc, you’re right. It could have been MUCH worse - she could have said “ Pisceans aren’t b1tchy, they’re pushover that you can walk all over”
So it’s ok, I like it

Sun Pisces A -
Moon Virgo A + lol
Asc Aries C +

OMG! SunScorp I just saw your post now

------------------
aka Neptune’s Mermaid, NM, WN, Nurse Neptune, Waternixie, Nepsnympe and deputy #6

“If you see me with a man understand that you can’t question me
The feelings that you caught ain’t my fault can’t help your jealousy”
- Xtina

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Bluemoon
Knowflake

Posts: 4456
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005

posted August 09, 2005 08:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Bluemoon     Edit/Delete Message
Yes it is a lovely, Pic. I found it by searching for Mother of the Universe.


Love you more, Nixie!!!

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WaterNymph
Knowflake

Posts: 2276
From: London, UK
Registered: May 2005

posted August 09, 2005 08:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for WaterNymph     Edit/Delete Message
You know I love you right back

------------------
aka Neptune’s Mermaid, NM, WN, Nurse Neptune, Waternixie, Nepsnympe and deputy #6

“If you see me with a man understand that you can’t question me
The feelings that you caught ain’t my fault can’t help your jealousy”
- Xtina ;)

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ariestiger
Knowflake

Posts: 1136
From: UK
Registered: Jan 2004

posted August 09, 2005 09:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ariestiger     Edit/Delete Message
I'm not sure the above ratings are true for all signs. I have known some Taureans and Sags to be pretty bitchy, but I don't find Capricorns terribly bitchy AT ALL, they don't offend in that kind of way. They might be a bit sharp occasionally, they will make no secret of what they think, but that's a different thing. I don't find them pretentious. Virgo = ditto. Scorps & Pisceans = again, not incredibly bitchy.

Top marks to Gemini and Aqua for two-facedness. Leos, Cancers and Libras - also great at falling all over you and telling you to your face how wonderful you are, then backstabbing. Ugh! Hate it!!

I appreciate it when I know where I stand with people...whether they are welcoming, or best avoided!!!!!

(Am I sounding like a b*tch here?)

AT

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Bluemoon
Knowflake

Posts: 4456
From: Stafford, VA USA
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posted August 09, 2005 11:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Bluemoon     Edit/Delete Message
"Refershing in a Strange way"

Ariestiger

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Saturn's Child
Knowflake

Posts: 867
From: Just left of center
Registered: May 2004

posted August 09, 2005 11:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Saturn's Child     Edit/Delete Message
Hey Pid, I think you're right about the Saggie smile. I worked with a Sag named Steve a few years ago. He always had a "Jack Nicholson" smile on his face whether he was angry or not. One day this guy came up to me and said, "I'm not sure, but I think Steve may be mad at me." I asked him why he wasn't sure. He said, "Well, he just told me to F*ck off, but he was smiling at me so I'm not sure."
lol I told to rest assured...he was mad.

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Radna
Knowflake

Posts: 102
From: M, OR, USA
Registered: Mar 2004

posted August 09, 2005 02:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Radna     Edit/Delete Message
All right, I'm a Gem........(cough)

And to clear up one thing that EVERYONE says, We aren't 2 faced.... We can just see both sides of the story to well /wink.

Radna

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AcousticGod
Knowflake

Posts: 11943
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005

posted August 09, 2005 02:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for AcousticGod     Edit/Delete Message
lol...

I didn't realize it, but I must be pretty bitchy according to this.

Sun in Cap B+
Moon in Virgo A+
Gemini Rising A++
Mars in Scorpio singleton A+

I also have a Sag stellium in the 7th giving me quite a bit of Sag and Libran influence.

Guess it depends on how they define a b*tch.

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Saturn's Child
Knowflake

Posts: 867
From: Just left of center
Registered: May 2004

posted August 10, 2005 12:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Saturn's Child     Edit/Delete Message
I don't think it's b*tchy so much as how you interact...maybe defend yourself...or are able to effectively put others down if they are attacking you. Not that you b*tch about stuff. I'm not that type of b*tchy at all...complaining about things all of the time...but, I do know that I can be a real b*tch if someone is not treating me right.

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