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Author
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Topic: Depression and selfishness
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sue g
Knowflake Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted August 22, 2005 03:34 PM
 
I held an interesting conversation today with a woman who believes that people who suffer from depression are selfish and self absorbed. She also seemed disgusted that I had owned suicidal thoughts in the past. This woman is a member of my family..........we have the same parents, she is my Leo sister.What are your thoughts guys on her comment? Love and compassion
Sue xx
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lotusheartone
Knowflake Posts: 238
From: MOther & Father GOd
Registered: Feb 2008
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posted August 22, 2005 03:42 PM
I agree with her, Your life is what, you make of it, it's up to you, to see the truth.
Depression, is a way of getting attention, in a very sadistic way, harming themselves, and others in the process.Love and Light IP: Logged |
kiwigirl
Knowflake Posts: 257
From: New Zealand
Registered: May 2005
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posted August 22, 2005 04:34 PM
Wow, that would have hurt Sue. I find that people that havent suffered from depression themselves have a lot of views on it but have no idea about what it is like to go through it.I suffered from it for 18months. I have never been prone to depressive thoughts or suicidal tendancies, and wham I became a person myself and my family and friends didnt recognise. I can assure you it wasnt attention seeking. It was a definate chemical imbalance and i can tell you that I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. The suffereing my family and i endured because of it is indescribable and i am so lucky that i had a great support network, however there were one or two who subscribed to lotus view of "get over it" "stop attention seeking" etc. I stayed away from those people and my famil and friends made sure they kept them away from me because at that time in my life, they were not helpful. For the last 18months i have been clear of it, I believe that having been through depression it has given me even more compassion and insight into human suffering and a greater knowledge in which to help other people who are going through or who have gone through a situation such as this. Sue, i know i totally digressed there! forgive me, but the comment from lotus really pushed my buttons, because it bought back what certain members of my own family were like when i went through it. Peace and love to you beautiful Sue. kiwi x IP: Logged |
lotusheartone
Knowflake Posts: 238
From: MOther & Father GOd
Registered: Feb 2008
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posted August 22, 2005 04:39 PM
Sorry, once again, truely.
I have been there, and almost taken my life, so I do understand.
My sister, is going through it now, I don't talk to her that way, all I do is pray, and meditate for her to see, that the anwers, lie within.
Again, I am very sorry.
I think, sue, understands, where I'm coming from.Love and Light IP: Logged |
ariestiger
Knowflake Posts: 1136
From: UK
Registered: Jan 2004
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posted August 22, 2005 05:23 PM
I had depression for about 10 years and I consider myself lucky. Some people have it for a lifetime. All very well for those who have never suffered to pass comment! Sometimes there might be a REAL REASON behind it. Maybe it might be the failings of others that have been projected onto them, so that they become depressed in turn. And so it goes. Let's have a little compassion here, and hope and pray that the depressed DO find a light at the end of the tunnel, identify WHAT exactly it is that is causing the problem, whether it is themselves or other people, and are able to eventually pull themselves out of their black hole - within their lifetimes, as, luckily, I was able to do. LOL AT IP: Logged |
kiwigirl
Knowflake Posts: 257
From: New Zealand
Registered: May 2005
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posted August 22, 2005 09:15 PM
Lotus, I wasnt offended by what you said, it just pushed some emotional buttons about what i went through, especially with people who said really hurtful things to me, like "you're just attention seeking" or "just get on with it" etc....I obviously still have some healing to do otherwise I wouldnt have reacted in my spirit as I did.Thank you for being you otherwise it wouldnt have been bought to my attention that I still have a ways to go in that area. Blessing and love to you
kiwi x IP: Logged |
lotusheartone
Knowflake Posts: 238
From: MOther & Father GOd
Registered: Feb 2008
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posted August 22, 2005 10:13 PM
Oh KiwiGirl, you are so sweet, your name suits you. I'm sorry I was so harsh, it really hit close to home, for me too. Love and Light IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted August 22, 2005 10:50 PM
I don't know the origins, I don't know how it is for others, i can only speak for myself, and I can also come from an empathic place.
I can't tell you how to feel and why you feel it...
Why could anyone endeavor to tell me why I feel the way I do or even understand the place it comes from.Such statements are beyond egoism, and enter the realm of psychological omnipotence. How I feel is valid.
How you feel is valid.
I am glad we all can feel.
I am sorry that sometimes what I feel is depression.
No one is sorrier than the ones who love me. And the ones I love.
Nothing attention seeking about it. I have a very attention seeking nature normally.. but when I am depressed, I want nothing more than to be left alone.. not as a ruse for someone to come ask me 'Are you okay?' Because my answer to that is 'Yes.' But so the world can melt away and I can decipher how things are. I can define things for me.
Vegetable
Animal
Mineral
Normal
Abnormal
Medicated
non-medicated.
Depression is as real as happiness.
How can it be defined? IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 11943
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
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posted August 23, 2005 02:29 AM
I'd be offended, Sue. Sounds almost competitive, as if to say that she must be better than you, because she thinks in this manner. Wouldn't sit well with me.I may be on my own here, but I truly believe that family has SO little to do with personality. Sure there are commonalities, but I don't think a person is defined by who their parents are. I think that is as far from the truth as possible. I know I'm neither my mother nor my father nor any of my sisters, or brother. I have my own life, my own problems, and my own views. I do have a silly notion about pleasing my parents, and getting their approval on relationships I get into, but those are my only familial compulsions. Otherwise I'm a part of the family on my own terms. It's almost disturbing to me how much I enjoy other people's families while keeping my own at arm's length. I'm an occasional depression sufferer (and I have considered suicide, though never wholeheartedly). I believe that's part of my connection with water signs. Water signs seem to be the only ones who can really empathize with it. Now I mostly just try to realize that life has it's ups and downs, and you just have to wait it out. Things always get better. Just have to have a little faith. IP: Logged |
leoelf
Knowflake Posts: 574
From: In My Head
Registered: May 2005
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posted August 23, 2005 03:17 AM
Sue, what your sister said is bullsh*t.
I have suffered from depression my whole life and I'm so one of those people to put EVERYONE before me (and I still do I WANT to, I can't help it)
Yes life is what you make of it but, sigh, I dunno, I'm tired, I'm not even in my right mind to post.
Don't feel bad, sueg.
Life. It is what it is. The only thing I'm certain of at this point is that it is a mystery. The not knowing is scary. That fear is enough to make you want to end it.I'm taking my meds and going to bed.
IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted August 23, 2005 03:47 AM
I am very offended, especially as our dad is going thro a breakdown and has been diagnosed as having morbid depression God bless him.Of course anyone who has been thro that kind of hell would only show empathy, wouldnt they? She (my sister) is one of the most selfish and cold people I know, it is hard for her to ever walk in the shoes of another, thanks God I can and always will, and thanks for all here who support me in that. Love to all Sue xx IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted August 23, 2005 03:50 AM
When I say I was offended, I meant by my sister's AND Lotus comment - you took my breathe away girl when you talked of attention seeking - I thought you were more compassionate than that, obviosuly not.
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pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted August 23, 2005 03:57 AM
Sue, when I think of anyone I'd rather have beside me holding hands and understanding.....
darned if it isn't the one who will cry with me and not judge me.
I will always always support you in that!
Lots of love to those who don't understand. But more to those who do.
It's my post, I can be biased like that.  IP: Logged |
sweetlibra
Knowflake Posts: 1382
From:
Registered: Oct 2004
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posted August 23, 2005 04:27 AM
I suffered from depression all through my teen age.
Nobody really knew if i was suffering from depression since i was always a calm, undemanding girl.
Only God was there for me.
Later When i realised i was suffering from depression i went to doctor.Had medication for 6 months.
Its no way attention seeking (i even failed to get attention lol)
I think sensitive people are more prone to depression.
------------------
When God leads you to the edge of the cliff,
Trust him fully. Only one of the two things will happen;
either he will catch you when you fall
or
he will teach you how to fly. IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted August 23, 2005 04:42 AM
'ONLY GOD WAS THERE FOR ME'Oh you darling woman, this so moved me Libra, this is what I speak of girl, our ability to really empathise with others, I totally FELT your words. Thanks be to God we have each other..........love to you  and Pixie.... What can I say to my Scorpio sister............as usual your words floored me........in a world full of coldness, I come here and feel the heat of your flames........ Love
Sue xxx xxx
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Bluemoon
Knowflake Posts: 4456
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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posted August 23, 2005 09:24 AM
Sweet Soogie, I am have suffering with depression and anxiety attacks. I dont see how it can be selfish. I don't think anyone would choose to feel this way. No one, at least to my face, has ever considered me selfish. I have a problem wiht being selfless. I also understand how difficult it is to butt heads with a sister. My siste(Libra) and I never seem to be on the same page.Love and Light to you. Sandi IP: Logged |
fayte.m
Knowflake Posts: 9809
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat. fayte1954@hotmail.com
Registered: Mar 2005
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posted August 23, 2005 09:45 AM
whenever I have been or get depressed..
The last thing I desire is attention!
Yuuck!
Just go away...leave me alone...nothing else exists for me until I work through it by myself.
If wanting to be alone with oneself in this fragile and emotionally vulnerable time is seen as selfish...than deal with it I say to those who consider that as being selfish....
I say that at those times I am doing them a favor by dealing with it on my own and not trying to get them involved in my stuff. And saying I am feeling down...or sick..etc. is not for attention...it is usually more to give the other person(s) a heads up...to leave me alone and to not be egocetric themselves and think it is about them...because while anger or hurt can be part of onesself and another....depression for me is a scream for "just go away...leave me to figure it out!"
I am not depressed now...but the memory of those deep doldrums are not pleasant ones.
When one is truly depressed one is often apathetic..and closes off from others..attention is the last thing they want...
maybe they need it....but they really do not want it. And while in that well so deep one could not care less if they drown...help or attention would be seen as invading their space....
Just my opinion...
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sue g
Knowflake Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted August 23, 2005 11:50 AM
I spoke with my father earlier on today about this and we agreed that it is only the deeply sensitive person that would understand. And as for the one that would pass a comment like this well...........He said to me that he heard someone say once "if it wasnt for the sensitive, we would still be eating each other"............what a lovely and fine role model I have for a Dad.........I am wondering how he could have produced a woman with such a cold heart?? Shame on her. Who knows? Love to all
Sue xx
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lotusheartone
Knowflake Posts: 238
From: MOther & Father GOd
Registered: Feb 2008
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posted August 23, 2005 12:09 PM
Well , I guess, I've been understand again. Would you like me to got through my depression, story with you, would that make you feel.
I have been raped, I was married to man who mentally, physically, and verbally amused me, I have the scars to live with., And that's not the half of it.
You are responsible for you. Listen to your higher self, I have been depressed and on meds, did no good at all. The only thing that helped, was to listen to the voice within.
I am sorry, there are so many people who are depressed, and today I will focus on praying and meditating for those to see, and realize, you can come out of this, with positive feelings, and dispel the negative.
I am sorry, and at this point, if you would like me to exit LindaLand, say the word,
And I'm out.Love and Light IP: Logged |
lotusheartone
Knowflake Posts: 238
From: MOther & Father GOd
Registered: Feb 2008
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posted August 23, 2005 12:26 PM
I would also like to add, that my feelings are genuine, how I feel, is really who I am. I will not say nice things, just to say them, they need feelings to go with them.
I thought we were all here to grow?Love and Light It's fun to take that negative energy, and aim it at one. But how do you feel about it??? IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted August 23, 2005 12:56 PM
Nobody said you werent a genuine person Lotus, I for one KNOW you are one of the most well intentioned ones around!! You have a lot to offer LL, I was taken with you immediately!!!I was sorry to read your story and I thought after doing so still mystified as to why you could take the stance you did on people who suffer the curse of depression - sorry still dont understand why you say the attention seeking thing - is that cos you did it for that reason, or is it something else? It feels like a paradox to me you talking of love and light and then saying this...........I dont get it girl, and why would anyone want you to leave, are you feeling victimised cos we speak out. Arent you one of the most honest ones here and have apologised on several occasions for fear of offending others. When you talk of growing and your willingness to do so, isnt this helping you to do just that......by being challenged?? You did say "help me", isnt this what is happening? What negative energy do you mean Lotus, and being aimed at one.......do you mean at you.......is that how you feel.......do we come across as negative here, really? I am just curious as to how the human mind works at times.......well I have enough working out my own, but I find you interesting and would like to try and understand, thats all - no victims or attackers here girl, only honest friends. Love to you
Sue xxxxxx
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Saturn's Child
Knowflake Posts: 867
From: Just left of center
Registered: May 2004
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posted August 23, 2005 01:05 PM
lotusheartone, I'm very happy that you were able to pull yourself up and out of your depression, having done so myself, I know how difficult it is. For some it is impossible, and as result commit suicide. And perhaps that was theirs to do this time. I do not believe that suicide is an act of cowardice. Sometimes it is one's best option.
I was disturbed by this:
quote:
Depression, is a way of getting attention, in a very sadistic way, harming themselves, and others in the process.
How very sad that someone would think so.
During my depressive states I just wanted to curl up into a ball and fall away. I understand that when you are in a deep dark abyss it may seem to others that you are self-absorbed...and I suppose in a way I was..I couldn't seem to touch anything else..see anything else but the walls of the abyss...it was me and the deep dark place...and that was all.
Suicide was considered at that point to end the pain....my pain and the pain of my children who were watching me suffer. It would not have been a selfish act I assure you. And, I did not at any point want attention. As Fayte said, I just wanted everyone to vanish.....myself included.
I do understand Sue....when I was struggling with depression at one point, my mother told me to stop being so melodramatic!
I think maybe your leo sister is the wants who wants the attention.
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lotusheartone
Knowflake Posts: 238
From: MOther & Father GOd
Registered: Feb 2008
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posted August 23, 2005 01:10 PM
You asked for an opinion, and I gave it to you, and then because, the opinion wasn't liked, it was all directed at me, read through the whole thread.
My sister, at the moment, is using it, to control my mother, and it's really taking alot out of her, and I wish that she could see, what she is doing to herself, her son, and my mother.
And I'm crying, because it hurts so much. And it doesn't have to be that way, it's up to us.
Love and Light
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sue g
Knowflake Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted August 23, 2005 01:16 PM
"Read through the whole thread"I have, and am sure many others have too Lotus, we are not unaware of the content of this thread, thanks xx
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lotusheartone
Knowflake Posts: 238
From: MOther & Father GOd
Registered: Feb 2008
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posted August 23, 2005 01:27 PM
Thanks so much, and I know your words ring with truth, there's always, those 2 darn poles, to deal with.Love and Light IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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