posted August 24, 2005 10:05 PM
1. Another New Yorker calls Manhattan "The City" and you are FORCED to give them a lecture on how "The City" is actually 5 boroughs.2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
3. You can get into a four hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4. Hookers and the homeless are invisible to you.
5. The subway map makes sense to you.
6. You think the subway should never be called anything prissy, like the Metro.
7. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you bilingual.
8. You've considered smacking someone just for saying "The Big Apple."
9. Your door has more than two locks.
10. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
11. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
12. You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard.
13. You consider Westchester "Upstate."
14. You cried the day Ed Koch took over for Judge Wapner.
15. You walk faster than some people run.
16. You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer's speaking.
17. You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."
18. You've been to New Jersey twice and got lost both times.
19. You pay more each month to insure your car than most people in the US pay in rent.
20. You haven't seen more than twelve stars in the night sky since you went away to camp as a kid.
21. You go to dinner at 9pm and head out to theclubs when most Americans are heading to bed.
22. Your closet is filled with black clothes.
23. When foreigners ask directions, you are nice to them. When other New Yorkers ask directions, you ignore them.
24. You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28 cents.
25. You take fashion seriously.
26. When you pass a celebrity on the street, you don't go to pieces.
27. You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.
28. Going to Brooklyn is considered a "road trip."
29. America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to you.
30. You've stopped thinking about how many hands touched the subway pole.
31. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
32. You haven't cooked a meal since helping Mom last Thanksgiving.
33. You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise.
34. Your idea of "personal space" is no one actually breathing on you.
35. $50 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
36. You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories.
37. You don't hear sirens anymore.
38. You've mentally blocked out all thoughts of the city's air quality and what it's doing to your lungs.
39. You live/work in a building with a larger population than some American towns.
40. You think Central Park is "nature".
41. You have 27 different menus next to your phone.
42. Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean, your deli man is Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese, your favorite bartender is Irish, your favorite diner owner is Greek, the watch seller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was Pakistani, your newsstand guy is Indian and your favorite falafel guy is Egyptian.
Lindaland
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posted August 24, 2005 10:05 PM
I 
NY 
posted August 25, 2005 03:25 PM