posted August 31, 2005 10:05 AM           

All I can do is give you a hug - Meg got over that phase in about a month; but you, dear lady, have your own special, Cancer Sun baby.

If all else fails, remember this: If they're crying, they're still alive.
If you really need to grab a bit of sanity, put him in his crib or one of those seats that hruuum to simulate the motion of a car, let him fuss, and get something done.
Or have a Chai.
They do wonders.

PS - But you may have to come to grips with a mess of a house for the next 18 years or so.
Embrace the dust bunnies
They sing at night.

posted August 31, 2005 01:01 PM         

by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

posted August 31, 2005 01:12 PM         

My heart goes out to you. Keep up courage, friend. Cancer babies are like little flowers - they need the constant light of your love and affection to grow. Once you little one grows a bit older, he'll like the sling more, and you might even be able to work with a back carrier as opposed to one up front.

Just school your heart to patience. If your house stays messy for a bit, then don't worry about it. You'll have your entire life to keep your house spotless, while your son is out playing with his friends and foraging his identity.

Another thought: You’ve been blessed with a Cancer baby, and unless he’s afflicted by some other influences in his life, it’s very likely that he’ll remain loyal to you and close to your heart for your entire life. Where other women have lost their sons to wives, your son will always be close. And when you are old, and need assistance much as he does now, he’ll be there for you.

posted August 31, 2005 01:14 PM         

I really feel for your girl. Our son is 6 now, but as a babe he was SO demanding (still is and very controlling). What I used to do is put him in a little rocker chair on the worktop in the kitchen when I was washing dishes and keep talking to him, the same with cooking.........as for anything else......I rarely did housework, no energy for that.....do you have a parnter......why not get him to do the cleaning..

I remember a friend of mine who had been a midwife and mother of five, told me all I was to do for the first few weeks was breastfeed and the rest could go to hell..,,,,I was very sick after giving birth.......but even so, you need help girl with the housework, being a mammy is enough for you.

Im delighted to be a mum......but wouldnt go thro it again, it took so much of my energy away, no sleep, constant feeding.....and I am only just getting my energy back after 6 years can you believe that?

Our boy slept with us too for a while, if he hadnt we would never have gotten any sleep. He still comes into the bed, but very rarely now......it is exhausting but I felt a little baby/child needs comfort.....I gave a lot of it.......and it caught up with me.....balance with everything......I suppose

Good luck

Love

posted August 31, 2005 01:18 PM         

******

Hedgewitch
I used to use a Snugli now I'm using the New Native Carrier. He likes it he just doesn't like the bending down motion in it. As for the cooking, I'm scared something will splatter on him since I wear him up front (he's too little to wear in the back at this point).

That was a lovely poem, by the way. I think I'll print it out and paste it on the fridge. Thanks.

posted August 31, 2005 01:31 PM         

And boy am I having a work out keeping my patience with myself up, lol. I can have patience with everyone else ... I guess I just expect too much of myself and I'm being unreasonable about what I can and can't accomplish at this point. Thanks.

******

sue g
My hubby tries to help with the cleaning but he's strung out, too. He leaves here at 6:30am and doesn't get home until about 5:30pm usually (he's Airforce). He helps with the meals and tries to give me a baby break so I can shower and eat. Next thing we know, it's 9:30pm and we need to get the baby ready for bed ... which means I need to go to bed, too.
I was told to let go for the first 6 weeks but I guess our little guy needs some more attention than most babies? Cancers, lol, gotta' love them.

My hubby's going out of town for about a week in a couple of weeks for work, too. I guess he won't be coming home to a clean house then, either.

Thanks so much, ladies.

posted August 31, 2005 02:24 PM         

i used those slings also...and liked them too, but baby does swing away from your body in them.

my favorites were the baby trekker and the kangaroo korner adjustable pouches.

both hold baby close to your body snugly, and you can actually do stuff with them on.

the baby trekker is an absolute must...if i were to have just one item for a new baby it would be that. babe can nurse so easily in it, in public too -- it's so easy to wear...and they love riding on your back in it (a lil older than 10 months though). indispensable for doing things around the house, and even in public.

babies from 8 lbs up can ride in this sling, and it's a miracle to have the older they get too.
http://www.babytrekker.com/photos.htm
(scroll down to see small baby picture)

the kangaroo korner sling is excellent also. it's similar to the new native carrier but the stretchy material holds baby close and tight to your body. babies love this sling and will sleep soundly in it for hours while you move around and do stuff. they nurse easily in it too.

the lady at kangarookorner.com is an expert...she has so much information there, you might like to browse through it. she has many different kinds of slings also, so you might find some others you like, but this one has a cult following...she's awesome.
http://www.kangarookorner.com/k_shop_pouches.shtml

you might even like to try a mesh sling for the shower...she has them there also. you can take babe in this in the shower with you and they love it...i used mine every day for almost 2 years.

i'm a sling buff....i have too many to mention here...i still want to purchase them even though my babe is very active and independent now.

try stocking your freezer with some high quality frozen dinners...it was my last resort, but they got me through those days...and we still nurse, and i still have trouble finding time to cook and clean. a good brand is amy's -- all organic and quite delicious. expensive, but worth it when you're nursing and babe needs good nutrition in his milk. also pre-packaged breakfast bars saved me quite often in the mornings. good organic oat and nut bars provide adequate nutrition when you just have to eat, but it seems there's no chance...

on a few occasions i literally sat in my rocking chair the entire day in nothing but a towel, after stealing a quick shower in the morning, until i was sourrounded by complete darkness -- no chance to even turn on a light -- nursing my babe whose voracious appetite never waned until after a few years. if i'd had those slings then, i don't think that would've happened that often.

love that little baby all you can now...the time passes faster than the speed of light, and you'll soon be wondering where that tiny creature went whom you once held in your arms...

love to you, Hedgewitch

posted August 31, 2005 02:41 PM         

kangaroo korner adjustable pouch

posted August 31, 2005 03:56 PM         

At some point every mother has to accept the fact that the baby is going to cry when you put it down to do what you have to do.

You have to take care of yourself. Loving and nurturing your baby is very important, but that does not mean you have to stop loving, nurturing, and NOURISHING yourself.

At this point she cries when she needs something. It is important to respond to her. Soon she will start to recognize making those sounds will make you respond and she will begin to do it for all sorts of reasons. At this point, I believe, it is a good idea to allow baby to fuss. Show her that she will live... just while you finish what you are doing (or at least get it to a point that you can come back to whatever it is).

Giving baby a bit of floor time each day is good too. Put her on her belly until she is frustrated (not overly frustrated... but allow her to learn about her body), then turn her over and let her be on her back. This daily floor time is a good time to run around and get stuff done. You will notice each time she will tolerate this for longer and longer. You may even be able to make a meal!

You two are beautiful!

posted August 31, 2005 04:24 PM         

My sister in law is going through this as well. Her first baby, my oldest Nephew actually entertained himself, which also meant he gets into everything. But the newbie is a handful and HAS to be held ALL the time...and eats like there is no tomorrow.

The poor Scorp is nursing him all the time it seems. Like yours he hates being set down (unless he is watching the older boy) The baby is 7 months old, weighs 25lbs and still wants to be carried constantly. He's a little Aqua with a Scorp moon - Pisces rising. The oldest is a Scorp Sun / Taurus Moon / Aries rising.

My brother works all day and then gives her a break when he gets home. The older boy is into everything these days and doesn't care much for the baby (he's going to be 3 in November). Oh and don't fall over.. but he even helps clean the house and cooks (He's a Saggie like me LOL)

Before she gave birth she signed up for a MOPS class (I don't know what that means) but they prepared meals for about two weeks and also helped clean the house once a month.

Do you have anyone that can babysit for about an hour or two a day? I admire your endurance!!!

Hang in there!!!

posted August 31, 2005 05:35 PM         

i had two of them one downstairs and one in the bathroom with my first daughter. i also had a swing with music she loved. but i think that is later when they are 4 months old~

edited for typo

posted August 31, 2005 07:19 PM         

Eleanor, It will just take a little more time.

I really love that poem, also, Hedgewitch!

Congratulations, Harpy!!!!!

posted August 31, 2005 11:31 PM         

For emergency's I used my stroller
no kidding sometimes I'd go from room to room rocking and rolling (literally)

kiss baby Mathias for us
(hope I spelled his name right)

posted September 01, 2005 02:33 PM         

LLL is SO right. My Sis-in-law never put my older nephew in the playpen and he never got used to it. Then again, he is very Aries rising and has a ton of energy (he also has a few planets in Saggie...so like his aunt, you just can't fence him in).

I love the crock pot idea as well. Just throw in stuff for soup, stew or meat (if you eat it) and let it go Then you will also have leftovers (I like to freeze dinner size portions and then just take them out as I need them).

I hope all is well!!!

LLL...how do you like your new home?

posted September 01, 2005 10:12 PM           

My dishes went unwashed today
I didn't make the bed
I took her hand and followed
Where her eager footsteps led.

Oh yes, we went adventuring
My little child and I
Exploring all the great outdoors
Beneath the sun and sky.

We watched a robin feed her young
We climbed a sunlit hill
Saw cloud-sheep scamper through the sky
We plucked a daffodil.

That my house was so neglected
That I didn't brush the stairs
In twenty years no one on earth
Will know or even care.