posted October 09, 2005 08:49 AM         

- Is AVAILABLE.

- Can offer me a HEALTHY long-term relationship.

Yes, believe it or not, I do actually like being married - just not to Mr. Aqua - and although I think it's time I was single for a while, if the chemistry was right, and I beleive that it is, I would not say no to committing myself. I have done some soul-searching, and if I'm being honest, I can't not commit myself within a relationship that has any value! But I am also choosy.

- Has a WELL-PAID and STABLE job. Well, we all want this. I don't mean what I say in a mercenary fashion...and I don't mean that people ought to be judged by their bank balance... but rather in the sense that confidence in guys can also be linked to earnings. Also in the sense that if a guy has a stimulating and satisfying job, then he's less likely to be an a*****e.

- Has CONFIDENCE.

- Is NOT a freak or BS-er. Very important. If I sense the merest hint of BS they are out the door. Simple as that. No messing.

- Is GENUINE and honest. Substantiates above.

- Loves me passionately.

- Shares specific interests of mine which we can explore together and about which we can talk, doesn't run them down.

- Is not MISERABLE.

It's said many a time that one attracts what one is, so, given that I want to attract all of the above obviously indicates that I should work on myself to ensure that I do indeed attract a great relationship.

I spoke to Mr. Aqua last night and despite all the heavily loaded hints I'd given him, he hadn't actually realized that I wanted to break up...he wants time to think about the situation...I have given him a week, and proposed both a civilized way of dealing with things and a non-civilized option, so the rest is up to him. There was crying (from myself)...but I feel as if I have passed into a new phase...I don't know whether this whole thing is going to be mollified or extremely difficult, one thing's for sure, if he plays up, objects, or procrastinates, I won't hesitate to take a more aggressive tack. I don't want to take him completely to the cleaners, but there it is. It's very simple. He has two options. Either...or.

He misses me...I don't miss him. I honestly don't know how he can say he loves me after all he's said and done.

Pixie...sorry if I appeared to hijack your thread earlier...seems an awful lot of us are having relationship issues.