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Author
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Topic: How Would You Feel If?
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proxieme
unregistered
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posted December 09, 2005 11:15 AM
OK, my husband got me an acoustic guitar for Christmas.
I don't know how to play, but I've always been one of those who're re-dockulously enamored of the ability to work with an instrument to create something beautiful - so it was a very cool gift.He gave it to me early and I've been practicing on it a every night. It's been made quite clear to me that he'd like an acoustic guitar as well (though he answers, "If you'd like to get me one for Christmas, babe..." when I ask him) through his constant nabbing of my instrument so he can noodle around with chords and attempt to play Johnny Cash songs. OK, here's where the question comes in:
He got me a big ol' Dreadnought.
I have itsy-bitsy hands (I'm 5'9'' and they're smaller than my 5'2'' mother's hands...as well as almost every hand I've ever compared them to).
Do you think he'd be offended if I bought myself a cheap-o (but much smaller) Folk style guitar to accomodate my tiny-ness and then gave him the Dreadnought that he bought me? I mean, it seems the most sensible course of action, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. Before you answer, don't be fooled:
Though he is an Aqua Sun, he is a moody fella. IP: Logged |
sxycrzykewl221
Knowflake Posts: 207
From: detroit, mi, usa
Registered: Oct 2005
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posted December 09, 2005 11:25 AM
Maybe, since it's not really a surprise anyway you could ask him how he would feel about it? I am getting Rob a guitar for christmas too, he is playing mine every nite and trying to learn some basics and I think for him I will stick with electric, they are so much easier to learn on. perfect hobby for the winter months and a hobby i truly enjoy. I never picked one up until i was 30 years old, but now have been playing 10 years. But I think instead of it being a surprise ask him what he thinks of the idea...or do it in sucha way that he actually thinks it was his idea.......  good luck and have fun learning!IP: Logged |
proxieme
unregistered
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posted December 09, 2005 11:27 AM
Yeah, I know I should just ask him (I mean, he's my husband, right?), but he's been so dern touchy lately.Thanks for the encouragement  
I don't feel weird about picking it up @ 25 now IP: Logged |
sxycrzykewl221
Knowflake Posts: 207
From: detroit, mi, usa
Registered: Oct 2005
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posted December 09, 2005 11:31 AM
i love it because it was something i just did for me...we, especially as mothers do so much for other people, we need to invest once in awhile in our own selves and our own personal enrichment! and in meloncholy moods i love to pick it up and play all night..it really is soothing for your soul...sometimes learning and or doing something for just our own enjoyment makes us better able to meet the needs of others! wierd as that may sound. i can so see you enjoying it!IP: Logged |
Irish Eyes
Knowflake Posts: 461
From: PA,USA
Registered: Apr 2004
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posted December 09, 2005 11:32 AM
Prox!Long time, no talk! Let me get to it! I was married to a Aqua for 11 years...IF he did get me a Christmas gift (2 out of 11 years I got something), it was always something that he wanted. I always felt like he was "waiting in the wings" for me to get tired of whatever it was so he could have it for himself (ie. really cool coffee maker) I ignored his comments about how much he liked something or how he wanted one for himself and I just let him have whatever he had given me. He complained often about how being in the military gave him very little time to enjoy some things and if he could buy me something that we BOTH liked and used it seemed like a perfect gift! Needless to say...I am glad that that chapter in my life is over!... Hope that you find a way to overcome this....be thankful he didn't give a fishing pole or a bowling ball with HIS name engraved on it! LOL Love to you,
Irish IP: Logged |
Moon666Child
Knowflake Posts: 2025
From:
Registered: Jul 2004
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posted December 09, 2005 11:34 AM
 GoodLuck with your lessons! ------------------
Welcome Home to GhostVillage IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted December 09, 2005 12:04 PM
How could he not see the logic?
I have itsy bitsy hands too, that belie my 5'7 stature.
Seriously, my !!11!! year old's hands are almost the same size!!!
As long as you wax poetically about how much you really dig the gift, and how thoughtful it is.. get him something different and just appeal to his (on the same wavelength as you) brain.
It just makes sense...
After all, you can't change the size of your hands!
IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 11943
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
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posted December 09, 2005 12:34 PM
How 'bout asking him to exchange the guitar, so you can have one that better fits you? Then you casually tack on, "or you could keep this one if you like. I just need something a little smaller if I'm going to learn."IP: Logged |
1scorp
Knowflake Posts: 2251
From:
Registered: Feb 2003
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posted December 09, 2005 02:15 PM
If it were me in your husband's position, it really wouldn't bother me. I would appreciate the practical aspect of it. You need a guitar more suited to you... and the one you have works well for your husband. It's pretty practical to give him the guitar. I guess the idea of giving someone their gift to you back, or the not new aspect of it would make it a harder decision. I would go with AG's suggestion on that one Since your husband picked your guitar out initially, it's safe to say he likes it. Either way, you both come out good on the deal. Edited - I'm 27 and have just now picked up a guitar. I know... I felt strange waiting this long. sxycrzy (spelling?) is right. It really is nice to begin during the winter months. Helps me divert my attention to something other than the four walls around me. However, I'm not so lucky as to be one of those people who just pick one up with no effort... eeesshhh. 
________________________________________
Scorpio sun, venus, mars, mercury, and uranus
Libra moon, pluto, and asc. IP: Logged |
dorkus_malorkus
Knowflake Posts: 1061
From: Hopelessly lost........
Registered: Jun 2003
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posted December 09, 2005 02:42 PM
Reminds me of the episode of The Simpsons where Homer gets Marge a bowling ball for her birthday Well I am 5'2 and I have small hands so I did have to work a little harder to get the hang of it(guitar.)But just ask him! IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 11943
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
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posted December 09, 2005 02:44 PM
No one picks up guitar without any effort. Getting your fingers conditioned takes awhile. I went from piano to guitar, and I still had to take the time to get accustomed to it.IP: Logged |
dorkus_malorkus
Knowflake Posts: 1061
From: Hopelessly lost........
Registered: Jun 2003
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posted December 09, 2005 02:51 PM
My guy always insists on buying me jewelry. And I hardly ever wear jewelry! Just earrings mostly. So he will ask me "If I bought you a $300 gold necklace, would you wear it?" First of all, he's the type to say something is worth more than it really is but I would never say that to him, not that I even care about the price! Secondly, no matter how many times I tell him I don't like jewelry, really, he asks me again and again. Like he bought me this neckalce and earring for my birthday, and I wore the necklace three times maybe. And he would get his feelings hurt if I didn't wear it all the time! I tell him he doesn't have to get me anything, but he won't stand for that. And when he does ask me what I want, he says, about a bracelet instead? Is this just a guy thing? Like does he want me to wear the jewelry, so when people ask, I can say..."oh yeah, my boyfriend got that for me." Well I work in warehouse, and it's not really the best place to make a fashion statement So what should I tell him so he won't get his feelings hurt? *edits to rant more* I don't know, I kind of take offense to it. I mean, he assumes, that since I am a woman, I want pretty jewelry to wear, or I want to decorate everything in pink. Also, he says "I bet you would look good in a dress, you should wear one." Well I don't own a dress, and I think they are uncomfortable! Maybe he adopts this attitude because he would rather generalize than take the time to find out what I really like??? Well it annoys me, and sometimes I think he doesn't listen to me, but I don't know what to say that won't make him upset. He takes everything so personally... IP: Logged |
Aphrodite
Knowflake Posts: 4992
From:
Registered: Feb 2002
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posted December 09, 2005 05:51 PM
Hmm, I'm with Irish Eyes on this one . . .Though it's clear you really like that guitar too. It's something lovely that gives you time to be creative and stimulate your mind. You remember how you said you were missing intelligent conversations and stimulating thought since you spend more of the time being an at home mom now? And then there was that time when he threw a tantrum about the singer not being at the bar a certain night when he wanted to sing . . . I remember your reaction to that one. Even though it was a gift to you, I smell selfishness and self-righteous assertion by the giver. Why are you worried about the potential of you hurting his feelings . . . when he's already hurt yours? I would keep the guitar and enjoy it thoroughly, play and play and get really, f*cking awesome that people start to notice and teach him to start looking at the inside talent, you. Instead of looking at you to swipe that instrument away. Tell him to stay at home and watch the baby so you can go out and play your heart out at the bar. Get the blood moving inside ya sistah.   IP: Logged |
proxieme
unregistered
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posted December 09, 2005 06:10 PM
I went out and got a nice little Alvarez guitar @ the local music shop.
~~~~
Woah, stop the presses:
I went to go find a link so I could show you which one, and I found it on several sites...and I apparently got a *fan-flippin'-tastic* deal on it
Rawk.
~~~~
OK, to continue:
I got a nice little entry-level Alvarez acoustic and then told Jase.
He was cool with it, though I think a little jealous that I now have a black number Hee hee!
Now to get to forming those callouses!
______________________ Heya Aph
I want to address your post in particular more fully later on, but I'm on the go for now. IP: Logged |
Gemini Nymph
Knowflake Posts: 2216
From:
Registered: Jul 2004
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posted December 09, 2005 09:10 PM
I am 5"5' with typically Piscean short arms and broad, shortt fingered hands. I found learning guitar very difficult, nay impossible, until I got a guitar that was suited for my size. I *never* play dreadnought - the stress of playing one with my size is too much. I play a folk size acoustic only and short scaled electics only.The bottom line is that playing a guitar that's uncomfortable f or your body size is discouraging (as it make it harder to play) and can lead to stress-realted injuries. You have a prefectly good reason to ask your husband for another guitar. I wouldn't worry so much. Just stress to your husband that you love the idea of him buying a guitar and that you really do want to learn to play, I'm sure he'll come around even if he's a little disappointed at first. IP: Logged | |
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