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Author Topic:   Unpleasant - could use some prayers...
Johnny
Knowflake

Posts: 2056
From: Colorado, USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted February 02, 2006 01:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Johnny     Edit/Delete Message
If you have any prayers to spare, I could surely use the help. Tomorrow (Thursday) I'm testifying in my parents divorce proceedings on my mother's side. My father is, and I don't use these words lightly, a psychotic, abusive monster who tormented her (and the rest of us) almost daily through the 22 years they were married. He is asking the court to give him full custody of my younger two siblings, both of whom are still minors (both hate him as much as I do), and the family house also. If he wins this case, I just don't have any words to describe how awful it would be.

Here's the story, if you care to hear it. It's long and not very nice, so be warned...

During the winter of last year, my dad became increasingly more abusive - living with him was an absolute hell. He had always been bad, but that winter was the worst he'd ever been. I don't want to go into it all, but it was a mess. It came to a head at the end of last January, when my mother finally called the police for the first time after a particulary horrible night. My father was arrested, and, except when he came to pick up a few personal effects with a police escort, he's not been back since.

After he was gone, my mother filed for a divorce, and all was fine for a couple of months. Then, my mom started getting (very violent) death-threats over the phone at the chiropractor's office where she worked as a secretary. - her co-workers picked up the first couple of calls, and they IDed my dad's voice when he was arrested. He was jailed for the night and a trial was scheduled for sometime this March. But the calls didn't stop - they kept coming and coming, but now the caller was careful to disguise his voice. Then there were break-ins at the office, with threatening messages (all directed specifically at my mother) left on the computer's screensavers. Money was stolen from the cash-box, windows were broken. But my dad wasn't arrested on any of these, because the police didn't have enough evidence to prosecute him, they said.

But wait, it gets worse. After a few weeks of this, with the fairly constant
police presence at her office ruining business, my mother was fired from her job under a ridiculous pretence that she wasn't performing satisfactorily (trust me, it was absurd - they had given a raise based on her performance just a few weeks before). Amazingly, though, my mom, who had been looking out for a new job in case this happened, got a call that very day telling her that she had been accepted at another medical office (which actually paid better, too) - so she didn't fight her illlegal termination. (I guess it's illegal to fire someone for being a victim of domestic abuse in Colorado)

Because of this, there was no lapse in time between when my mother left her old job and started working at her new one. My dad apparently assumed that she was still working there and kept up the pressure, calling up the schools where the other employee's children attend and making death threats on *them*. The police take this very seriously indeed - tracing the calls to Oregon, where, it turns out, my dad is living! (There was even an article in the paper on this) Of course, he denies everything, and since there is no real proof, he wasn't arrested.

The death threats to my mother at this chiropractic office where she no longer works have continued right up until now, but now they are more and more often directed at my mom's former co-workers, who have agreed to testify at the divorce proceeding tomorrow. My dad went so far as to break into and trash the home of one of these co-workers - the police have no proof of this, but even they admit they know it was him. Just yesterday, he called this office and warned my mom's former coworkers to "Be nice" in the upcoming divorce trial.

So now tomorrow their divorce will finally be made official, and I am going to be testifying as to how awful this guy really is. I don't really think he is going to win - there will be a "Child and Family Investigator" testifying on my mother's behalf who wrote an eight page report on all of this, and, according to my mom's attorney, these things carry a lot of weight in court. Also, the sheriff investigating the whole affair with the death threats and the break-ins will be testifying on our side as well. But here's the thing - my dad has brought practically his entire family here from out of state to testify on his behalf. These people are entirely fooled by him, and apparently believe that *I* was the one making all the threatening phone-calls and break-ins on behalf of my mother - in order to frame my father!! They are going to do all they can to see that my dad gets everything. God, I feel such hatred for them I can't even describe it.

So, if you can spare a prayer, well, it'd be great. I'm trying not to worry about this, but it has a way of weighing on one's mind, I guess.

Thanks for listening. I'm sorry to vent all of this... skeletons in the closet and all that.

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AcousticGod
Knowflake

Posts: 11943
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005

posted February 02, 2006 01:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for AcousticGod     Edit/Delete Message
Hey, it's all good, Johnny, and tomorrow it will be all god (to your benefit I hope).

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Johnny
Knowflake

Posts: 2056
From: Colorado, USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted February 02, 2006 02:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Johnny     Edit/Delete Message
Heh, thanks AG. Much appreciated.

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marsconjunctmercury
Knowflake

Posts: 912
From: Isle of Wight U.K
Registered: Dec 2005

posted February 02, 2006 02:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for marsconjunctmercury     Edit/Delete Message
Johnny. My heart goes out to you. Not in the usual mindless way that you get from people, who don't really understand or care, but in a real way.
I had the same kind of father. I know the worse part of it from your point of view is making others believe you or realise what it's like. It's like beating your head a against a wall isn't it. My father was a diagnosed manic depressive (although he's never admited it to this day!) He ruined my childhood, and if i'm honest my whole life up to this very point has been a shadow of what it should have been, had he left me alone, or been wiped of the face of the planet, in my younger years.
I hope he gets what he deserves and you get what you deserve. Life is just, so you both will eventually.
Adam.

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4th December 1974 18:00GMT Isle of Wight UK

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Johnny
Knowflake

Posts: 2056
From: Colorado, USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted February 02, 2006 02:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Johnny     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks, Marsconjunctmercury - and I think you're right about the world.

Sorry to hear about your dad, as well. These types seem to be awfully common, don't they.

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CancerianMoon
Knowflake

Posts: 1082
From: Sydney, Australia. Cancer Sun.....Gemini Moon.....Aqua Rising
Registered: Aug 2003

posted February 02, 2006 02:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for CancerianMoon     Edit/Delete Message

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CancerianMoon
Knowflake

Posts: 1082
From: Sydney, Australia. Cancer Sun.....Gemini Moon.....Aqua Rising
Registered: Aug 2003

posted February 02, 2006 06:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for CancerianMoon     Edit/Delete Message
Sending love and strength Johnny and for your mum too
SOrry for posting and running b4...as i was about to type my son told me after suffering bad headache and vomitting for the previous 2 hours..that he had hit his head on the tiled floor!!!...uhuh..so off to the docs we go..sleeping soundly now

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teaselbaby
Knowflake

Posts: 1337
From: Northeast Ohio
Registered: Sep 2002

posted February 02, 2006 10:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for teaselbaby     Edit/Delete Message

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fayte.m
Knowflake

Posts: 9809
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat. fayte1954@hotmail.com
Registered: Mar 2005

posted February 02, 2006 10:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for fayte.m     Edit/Delete Message
I wish for him to get what he deserves..... and for no harm to come to you or your mom or the others he has abused.

I understand.
My mother is like that.
Very scary....

Just tell the absolute truth no matter what.

Perhaps his Karma will catch up with him today...........

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Moon666Child
Knowflake

Posts: 2025
From:
Registered: Jul 2004

posted February 02, 2006 10:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Moon666Child     Edit/Delete Message

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Welcome Home to GhostVillage

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Irish Eyes
Knowflake

Posts: 461
From: PA,USA
Registered: Apr 2004

posted February 02, 2006 11:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Irish Eyes     Edit/Delete Message
Johnny-

I too have a crazy abusive father that my mother had to divorce...time does feel most of the wounds. He will get what he deserves...they all do!

As a piece of advice...forgive but never forget so that you never have to go through this again!

Sending prayer your way,
Irish

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marsconjunctmercury
Knowflake

Posts: 912
From: Isle of Wight U.K
Registered: Dec 2005

posted February 02, 2006 12:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for marsconjunctmercury     Edit/Delete Message
Yes forgive but not forget. That's what i've done. Mind you i still don't care if i never see him again, i'm just not going to beat him up or do anything negative towards him. That's forgiving.
The staying away from him is because i will never forget.
You can't pretend to forget something - it's part of your developement. But you can (and should for YOUR own sake) try and forgive.
I totally believe what goes around comes around so it'd be stupid to do anything negative to anyone because you're doing to yourself in the future.
Moreover i accept all struggles as i obviously caused them to happen in my spiritual past. Deal with them pleasantly now and you'll inherit pleasantness in the future. I'm glad i've got faith. It's probably the best thing there is.

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4th December 1974 18:00GMT Isle of Wight UK

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pixelpixie
Knowflake

Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted February 02, 2006 12:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message

I hope all strength you can gather, and it is going well today.

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Aphrodite
Knowflake

Posts: 4992
From:
Registered: Feb 2002

posted February 02, 2006 02:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aphrodite     Edit/Delete Message
Prayers sent

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1scorp
Knowflake

Posts: 2251
From:
Registered: Feb 2003

posted February 02, 2006 03:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 1scorp     Edit/Delete Message
I'm sorry that you and your family have had to experience this. From your own father...
__________________________________________
Scorpio sun, venus, mars, mercury, and uranus
Libra moon, pluto, and asc.

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Azalaksh
Knowflake

Posts: 6485
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted February 02, 2006 05:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Azalaksh     Edit/Delete Message
Johnny ~

The Universe has a way of balancing itself. You will do/have done what is right for you, your mom and your siblings today. There's nothing more we can do than our best, at whatever we believe in.

I've had my own adventures with abuse and the police/courts -- one of the worst experiences I ever endured. But I prevailed, and so will you. You have bunches of personal courage, and you and your family and your mom's coworkers have my respect and admiration for your efforts to take down this monster clothed in human flesh, at a cost of possible personal harm.

Sending positive thoughts out into the ether for all involved.....
{{hugs}}
'Z

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trillian
Knowflake

Posts: 4050
From: The Boundless
Registered: Mar 2003

posted February 02, 2006 07:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for trillian     Edit/Delete Message
Try not to worry.
All will be what it needs to be.
Your father will not deceive anyone.

------------------
Everything feels possible. Perhaps more is possible than we think. -P.H.

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sue g
Knowflake

Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004

posted February 02, 2006 07:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
Sending love Johnny and prayers.....will light blue candle for peace and ask that justice be done....

Love to you

xxx

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Johnny
Knowflake

Posts: 2056
From: Colorado, USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted February 02, 2006 07:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Johnny     Edit/Delete Message
Well, I just got back from the courthouse - and my dad lost utterly. My mother was awarded full custody of my brother and sister, the house, and all of the marital property except for a shotgun that had belonged to my dad's great-grandfather. And my mom has to rent a storage unit thing to put all of his old stuff that she doesn't want, until he can haul it all back to wherever he's living in Oregon now. Incredibly, he didn't get *any* visitation rights with my siblings at all - the judge informed him (in no uncertain terms!) that the most he is allowed to do is right them letters.

But here's the amazing part (or at least I think it's amazing) - his family, who were going to be his character witnesses - failed to appear at the courthouse. I have no idea why they weren't there - they were listed as official witnesses for his side and his attorney had informed my mom's that they would be there, but... they weren't. So he had no witnesses to back up his lies, and, instead of having his side heavily outnumber my mom's side, it was the other way around! I don't want to think what might have happened had they been there, but I rather think that I have you guys to thank for it... All I know is that these people have backed him up from square 1, and for them not to show up today when it really counted is beyond bizarre. So Azalaksh, 1scorp, Aphrodite, Pixelpixie, Marsconjunctmercury, Irish Eyes, Moon666Child, Fayte, Teaselbaby, CancerianMoon, Acoustic God, Sue G... thanks again!

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Azalaksh
Knowflake

Posts: 6485
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted February 02, 2006 09:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Azalaksh     Edit/Delete Message
Johnny, that's wonderful!!
It's an excellent bonus to be able to see justice done, and karma coming back around when you can actualy witness it, instead of in the next lifetime.....

'Z

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BlueTopaz124
Knowflake

Posts: 1382
From: Portland, OR
Registered: Jan 2004

posted February 02, 2006 10:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueTopaz124     Edit/Delete Message
Johnny, I'm happy that things worked out so well for you and your family! Things do have a way of working out for the best.

He's in Oregon? Oh no! :::runs and hides:::

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Johnny
Knowflake

Posts: 2056
From: Colorado, USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted February 02, 2006 11:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Johnny     Edit/Delete Message
Yeah, 'Zala, seeing him lose like that really made my year. He was absolutely fuming, too. Good riddance, I say.

Heh, BlueTopaz, from what I hear, he's a ways away from Portland, so don't worry! Thanks for the kind words, by the way.

And Trillian, I missed your post - thanks a heap to you also. You were right!!

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Aphrodite
Knowflake

Posts: 4992
From:
Registered: Feb 2002

posted February 03, 2006 12:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aphrodite     Edit/Delete Message
What a miracle indeed! I am so happy for your family.

CancerianMoon is your son feeling better now?

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SunChild
Moderator

Posts: 4032
From: Australia
Registered: Jan 2004

posted February 03, 2006 01:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SunChild     Edit/Delete Message

Great to hear Johnny....much love to you!

------------------
Wonder of it All

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Virgo-AriesArtist
Knowflake

Posts: 1409
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2001

posted February 03, 2006 09:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Virgo-AriesArtist     Edit/Delete Message
Glad to hear it all worked out the best for everyone involved, Johnny. Everything happens for a reason, and now he won't have the chance to damage their (your mom and siblings') life anymore...You are all free from him...much celebration is in order Hugs and prayers for you all in the healing process.

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-K
"Most people love with restraint
As if they were someday to hate
We hated gently, carefully
As if we were someday to love"-Venus Trines at Midnight

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