posted March 01, 2006 08:58 PM         

>>>A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida to thaw out
>> > during one particularly icy winter.
>> >
>> > They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their
>> > honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was
>> > difficult to coordinate their travel plans.
>> > So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with
>> > his wife flying down the following day.
>> >
>> > The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his
>> > room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife.
>> >
>> > However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address,
>> > and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.
>> >
>> > Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from
>
>> > her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was
>> > called home to glory following a sudden heart attack.
>> > The widow decided to check her e-mail expecting messages of
>> > condolence from relatives and friends.
>> >
>> > After reading the first message, she fainted.
>> > The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the
>> > floor, and saw the Computer screen which read:
>> >
>> > To: My Loving Wife
>> >
>> > Subject: I've Arrived
>> > Date: 16 January 2005
>> > I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here
>> > now. We are allowed to send e-mails to our loved ones. I've just
>> > arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been
>> > prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you
>> > then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
>> >
>> > P.S. Sure is hot down here!

posted March 02, 2006 02:19 AM         

Anyhow... My husband's grandpa once told me this joke... I thought it was really funny:

Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?

A: He doesn't anyone to know he's been screwing chickens!

posted March 02, 2006 04:49 AM         

A fireman is at the station house working outside on the fire truck when he notices a little girl next door. The little girl is in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side. She is wearing a fireman's hat and has the wagon tied to a dog.

The fireman says "Hey little girl. What are you doing?"

The little girl says "I'm pretending to be a fireman and this is my fire truck!"

The fireman walks over to take a closer look. "Little girl that sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman says.

"Thanks mister" says the little girl.

The fireman looks a little closer and notices the little girl has tied the dog to the wagon by its testicles.

"Little girl", says the fireman, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the dog's neck I think you could go faster."

posted March 02, 2006 06:51 AM         

quote:

---

P.S. Sure is hot down here!

---

posted March 02, 2006 07:34 AM         

On the other end of the table was a pile of cookies which a friend of the bar-mitzvah boy had placed a sign on saying, "Take all the cookies you want - God is watching the apples."

posted March 03, 2006 12:36 PM         

A blonde was driving down a country road when she sees a house totally engulfed in flames... she panics as she dials 911 from her cell.

The operator answers and the blonde says, "There's a fire and you gotta come quick. The whole house is on the fire!"

The operator says, "Calm down mam. How do we get there?"

posted March 03, 2006 12:53 PM         

Why was the blonde's belly button bruised?