posted April 29, 2006 12:32 AM              

I haven't really had much time to get on the computer...but I would like to tell you all what has become of the whole ex-scorpio situation (you know, the one with Garren and me getting him in trouble thinking it was smart? Check out the 'wrecking revenge' post a few pages over if you want. I know some of you remember) and I'll show you some pics from the night:

Me before the ceremony

Me and Katelyn at the school- She's a scorpio sun, merc and venus.

Back to the story: Well Garren got done with his suspension a month ago, and I haven’t seen much of him since. I saw him a couple weeks ago and he was staring at me, I guess in an effort to freak me out. It didn’t faze me. Monday night we had an Award Ceremony for all the honor roll kids, and I was getting an award and Garren was also. I saw his name on the list and I thought “Great now I'll be forced to see him."

I went to the ceremony with my Scorpio friend Katelyn, whom Garren had a crush on (not surprising, is it?) and as soon as we walked in, there he was. Just standing there with some girl flirting with him but that’s nothing new. I acted like I didn’t see him though I knew he knew I did (what? lol). It was crowded in the hallway, but he walked by me and pinched my arm as he did; I guess to make his presence known. Or to warn me. Who the h*ll knows. Katelyn and me went on in to sit down, and I saw Garren walk by to his seat right before the ceremony began. I watched him and right before he took his seat he looked back at me again. My Sagittarius friend Will came over to talk to me and Mr. Scorpio was watching this with a scowl. I gave Will a hug and looped my arm through his as we walked out to quickly get a drink. We came back just in time. The whole thing lasted forever/two hours and my a$$ was numb from those d*mn wooden auditorium seats. As I was leaving I saw Garren AGAIN watching me. As I looked at him he SMILED at me! In spite of all the sh*t I did to him. I knew something was up
I mean it wasn’t like a quick glance-half-smile-keep-walking thing; he stared, smiled and kept staring. I turned away and tried to find somewhere to file that in my head when he came up to me. This is what happened:
him: “Hey Darlene.”
I said “Hello.”
Him: "How have you been? I haven't gotten to talk to you in a while."
Me: "I've been well. and yourself?"
Him: "Not that great really."
Then he said “You look nice tonight...I’ve never seen you wear a black dress before.”
Me: “Ok...thanks."
And I walked away. I know what he’s attempting because he’s not just ‘nice’ to people who get him in trouble. I felt angry that he was going to do this, though it was expected, but a part of me was thinking that maybe he had changed his mind and really started liking me again... Yeah, as if.

Ever since we broke up and I think about him my stomach turns...I get this really bad feeling and it's a mixture between missing him, confusion and anger. I'm angry with myself for getting caught up in all this. Everytime I'm in his presence I get sick and depressed...Like I will take the long way around the school if that's the only way I can be sure I won't see him, because when I DO see him, or even THINK about seeing him, I get that bad feeling I explained earlier. I even skip lunch so I don't have to be in the lunchroom with him! We don't sit close but I get so obsessed and I think "what if he sees me and can tell I'm upset because of him??" and my hands will shake for some reason.

I don't like him at all, though. I wouldn't care if we ever spoke again. This just haunts me...Has anyone ever felt this way or understand what I'm talking about?

Please, any comments are welcome...

posted May 01, 2006 08:22 PM              

I hope he moves far away as well. I only have another month of school left (thank god) so I won't have to deal with all this drama.

Thanks shop22much, lol.

Yeah I get to leave for college in another three years and I'm hoping to move to Charlotte, NC. I can't wait.

I'm feeling better now about this now, but not too much.