posted May 15, 2006 04:31 AM         

Sometimes, someone touches us,
and we don't say "thank you" right away, because,
"thank you" just doesnt seem big enough
to express all the gratitude we feel,
and we dont know what else to say,
or maybe we dont trust that the words will come.

Sometimes, life just becomes more vivid.
Sometimes, words (like "gratitude") can surprise you,
and take on a new meaning and life of their own.
But how do you say "grateful" to someone,
and have it express what you have only just now
found to exist in that word?

Mystic Melody, or whoever you are,
I want you to know that it worked;
what it was your intention to express,
has been registered at a depth equal to
the sublime height from which it issued.

I think, if you trust that,
as I trust your unprecedented words to me,
then we can both have rest;
my gratitude will be expressed....

I am fairly androgynous,
which is part of what you are responding to.
Besides the 1st house Moon,
and the Sun in a Water Sign,
Venus is Conjunct the Sun by less than 2 degrees,
in what is probably the strongest area of any chart
(the space just before the Midheaven), -
according to a famous astrological study conducted
by astrologers Michel and Francoise Gauquelin, -
and it is in retro-grade, which further sensitizes it,
and, so, tends to make a person more effeminate.

There's plenty of air and fire to compensate,
but feminine charms are marked.

I liked Marcel Proust's response to a question
he met with on a survey one time...

Actually two questions:

Survey: What quality do you find most attractive in a man?

Proust: Feminine charm.

Survey: What quality do you find most attractive in a woman?

Proust: Honesty and Candor

((I'm paraphrasing rather irresponsibly,
but there is the essence of the thing.))

I liked what you said about picking one of my family members, etc.
My father seems easiest to work with,
and he has always taken up (the slack)
the mother role, while my "mother" has
acted as more of a disciplinarian and provider.
My dad also has a 1st house Moon.

,
Steve

posted May 17, 2006 12:08 AM         

Now that I have Googled your writers/poets/philosophers of the day, I am in the mood for baking. http://www.slate.com/id/2118443/

posted May 17, 2006 04:48 PM         

I forgot to thank you for your wonderful post (and compliments!). I was so distracted, after having my first response accidentally deleted, but what you said had made me very happy, and I meant to tell you so.

posted May 17, 2006 04:52 PM         

Thank you.
"Enchanting", really? That's a great word,
and an awesome compliment to pay a writer.

Feel free to quote me in your column, lol.
You can call me, "anonymous source", or something.

Do you ever share your columns on LL?

It sounds to me like very important work. I can imagine all the stressed out mommys and daddys reading it, and taking comfort in the reminder that they are not alone. The ability to laugh at yourself, and to find humor in these daily sallies, conflicts, and catastrophies - to make light of them, without robbing them of their inherent dignity and importance, - is a rare gift. So many parents have difficulty laughing at themselves, or detaching and observing the universality of the experience. They tend to think of themselves alone (and, in a way, they are isolated, carrying on this incomparably precious work, - often unmindful of its true significance, - in secret and public quarters, all over the world). Many parents dont even have friends (or friends with children of their own) to sympathize with and provide this reminder. And, without the ability to laugh at themselves and their mistakes, or the opportunity to hear from people in a similar predicament, their domestic defeats and victories can assume truly intimidating disproportions.

I agree, apologies are magical incantations. And I know why it is not necessary for your mother to pronounce them, in order to melt your heart. It is because you understand her, on a level that transcends ego-grudges. When we Understand a person, deeply, we can only Accept them (at their present level of development), and there is nothing to forgive. Understanding breeds Acceptance, and Acceptance transcends the apparent need for apologies and pardons.

I admire you for overcoming so much of childhood "programming". It sounds like you have a good idea of the parent you want to be, and of the balance of gentleness and firmness, which is so important to the development of a human being. Understanding and accepting yourself, moods and all, helps to relieve your stress and even out your moods. I'm sure they know you love them very much.

posted May 17, 2006 04:52 PM         

"I have visited yourspace and found it very nice Thank you for the invite."

You're Welcome!

"I thought of you Scorpios when I watched Boston Legal tonight... too bad it was the season finale or I would be twisting your arms to watch it."

You'd have to twist pretty hard.

"Now that I have Googled your writers/poets/philosophers of the day, I am in the mood for baking. http://www.slate.com/id/2118443/

Cool. Enjoy!

It's interesting...
I dont know why people make so much of the madeline, as if the taste of one might awaken, in any one of us, the vivid and elaborate memories of Marcel's childhood in Combray.
People never mention that particular cobblestone, on which the narrator's foot falls at a peculiar angle, the sensation of which somehow conjures memories just as vivid as those evoked by the distantly familiar taste of the madeline.
Perhaps it is that the madeline appears in the first volume, while the cobblestone is not reached until the seventh, and final volume, and most readers of the first book, after patting themselves on the back, and proudly calling themselves Proust fans, never care to read the others.
Anyway, the point the author was making had absolutely nothing to do with madelines, or cobblestones, and everything to do with the mysterious depths of our subconscious minds, which retain everything we have ever experienced, and, sometimes, disclose those memories to our present awareness, by the action of a simple sensory perception (a familiar taste, bodily sensation, or strain of music), and thereby effect an entire realignment of ourselves with the past, and with the multi-dimensional person whom we have once and always been.

"(I would tell you how much I love your post, but it is Capricorn moon now, so I am back to denying my softer emotions and medicating myself with humor...)"

I understand.
The fact that you said this much is encouraging,
and says a lot.
Thank you.

posted May 17, 2006 08:52 PM         

I liked the quote from Zelda's daughter you posted, too. I remember seeing that. And I liked what Zelda said about, how, by the time you realize what you want to do with your life, and what you are really suited to, "the die has already been cast". Zelda became a ballerina (or tried to) in, I think, her forties (or mid to late thirties). She pushed herself really hard. It must have been difficult, with the other girls (probably) barely half her age, and everyone telling her she was nuts.