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Author Topic:   Office Memo
1scorp
Knowflake

Posts: 2251
From:
Registered: Feb 2003

posted May 16, 2006 01:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 1scorp     Edit/Delete Message

All of you know what I'm talking about... we all get these goofy things in the office. One was finally worth keeping.


SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

S.H.I.T.


In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from all employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of:

Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.)

We are trying to give all employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your fair share of S.H.I.T., please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S.H.I.T. that you can handle.

Employees who don't take S.H.I.T. will be placed on the Departmental Employee Evaluation Program (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. will have to attend Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to take S.H.I.T. anymore, and are full of S.H.I.T.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in training others. We refer your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for a promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.).

If you have any further questions, please direct them to our Head of Training (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).

Thank You,

Boss in General (B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)

__________________________________________
Scorpio sun, venus, mars, mercury, and uranus
Libra moon, pluto, and asc.

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Kamilla
Knowflake

Posts: 860
From: NJ USA
Registered: Apr 2006

posted May 16, 2006 01:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kamilla     Edit/Delete Message
CLASSIC!! Our entire office is rolling on the floor

Oh, and BTW

A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has
discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read
their e-mail/ board posts with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late....lol

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Azalaksh
Knowflake

Posts: 6485
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted May 16, 2006 02:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Azalaksh     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks, 1scorp!!
This one's going to make the rounds at our office now

Zala

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Moon666Child
Knowflake

Posts: 2025
From:
Registered: Jul 2004

posted May 16, 2006 02:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Moon666Child     Edit/Delete Message
being the boss.............................

------------------
Welcome Home to GhostVillage

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1scorp
Knowflake

Posts: 2251
From:
Registered: Feb 2003

posted May 16, 2006 02:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 1scorp     Edit/Delete Message
Glad you enjoyed.

My first reaction was to take my hand off from the mouse also

Awww Moon: The boss is the one who handed it out.

Aries sun
________________________________________
Scorpio sun, venus, mars, mercury, and uranus
Libra moon, pluto, and asc.

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Moon666Child
Knowflake

Posts: 2025
From:
Registered: Jul 2004

posted May 16, 2006 02:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Moon666Child     Edit/Delete Message

------------------
Welcome Home to GhostVillage

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Kamilla
Knowflake

Posts: 860
From: NJ USA
Registered: Apr 2006

posted May 16, 2006 04:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kamilla     Edit/Delete Message
I am actually the H.O.T...lol.

No, seriously Of course, after I passed the memo above to our employees I was able to take the rest of the day off.

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future_uncertain
Knowflake

Posts: 2681
From: ohio
Registered: Aug 2004

posted May 16, 2006 04:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for future_uncertain     Edit/Delete Message
Love it.
And funny about the mouse, too.
For a second I felt so busted!

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Yang
Knowflake

Posts: 2296
From: A temporary home
Registered: May 2004

posted May 16, 2006 09:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yang     Edit/Delete Message
full of S.H.I.T

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Kamilla
Knowflake

Posts: 860
From: NJ USA
Registered: Apr 2006

posted May 20, 2006 06:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kamilla     Edit/Delete Message
I just wanted to report that after the first session of S.H.I.T. our employees complained to US Department of Labor and from now on the government requires to sustitute it with Workplace Hazards Orientation Guide Including Vacation Eligibility Seminar AND Special High Intensity Training -
W.H.O.G.I.V.E.S.A.S.H.I.T.
Also, our boss, the B.I.G.S.H.I.T. was demoted to Legal Information Temporary Team Leader Elected Tri-County Unemployment Regulations Deputy
L.I.T.T.L.E.T.U.R.D.

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DayDreamer
Knowflake

Posts: 4841
From:
Registered: Jul 2003

posted May 21, 2006 01:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for DayDreamer     Edit/Delete Message
Good one 1scorp ...that one's getting forwarded!!

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1scorp
Knowflake

Posts: 2251
From:
Registered: Feb 2003

posted May 23, 2006 09:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 1scorp     Edit/Delete Message
"Workplace Hazards Orientation Guide Including Vacation Eligibility Seminar AND Special High Intensity Training -
W.H.O.G.I.V.E.S.A.S.H.I.T."


You added to it... Ahhhh... Thanks for the morning laugh.

________________________________________
Scorpio sun, venus, mars, mercury, and uranus
Libra moon, pluto, and asc.

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