posted June 07, 2006 06:07 PM              

So what would happen if suddenly, magically, men could menstruate and
women could not? Menstruation would become an enviable, boast-worthy,
masculine event. Men would brag about how long, and how much. Boys would
talk about it as the envied beginning of manhood. Gifts, religious
ceremonies, family dinners, and stag parties would mark the day.
To prevent monthly work loss among the powerful, Congress would fund a
National Institute of Dysmenorrhea. Doctors would research little about heart
attacks, from which men were hormonally protected, but everything about
cramps.
Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free. Of course, some
men would still pay for the prestige of some commercial brands such as Paul
Newman Tampons, Muhammad Ali's Rope-a-Dope Pads, John Wayne Maxi-Pads, Joe
Namath Jock shields--"For those light bachelor Days."
Statistical surveys would show that men did better in sports and won more
Olympic medals during their periods. Generals, right-wing politicians, and
religious fundamentalists would cite menstruation ("men-struation") as proof
that only men could serve God and country in combat. ("You have to give blood
to take blood".), occupy high political offices ("Can women be properly
fierce without a monthly cycle governed by the planet Mars?"), be priests,
ministers, God Himself ("He gave his blood for our sins"), or rabbis
("Without a monthly purge of impurities, women are unclean").
Male liberals or radicals, however, would insist that women are equal,
just different; and that any woman could join if only she were willing to
recognize the primacy of menstrual rights ("Everything else is a single
issue") or self inflict a major wound every month ("You MUST give blood for
the revolution.").
Street guys would invent slang ("He's a three-pad man") and give
"fives" on the corner with some exchange like, "Man, you, lookin' good!"
"Yeah, man I'm on the rag."
TV shows would treat the subject openly. (Hill Street Blues: The whole
precinct hits the same cycle.) So would newspapers, (SUMMER SHARK SCARE
THREATENS MENSTRUATING MEN; JUDGE CITES MONTHLIES IN PARDONING RAPIST.) And so
would movies. (Newman and Redford in 'Blood Brothers'.
Men would convince women that sex was more pleasurable at "that time of
the month." Lesbians would be said to fear blood and therefore life itself,
though all they needed was a good menstruating man. Medical schools would
limit women's entry ("They might faint at the sight of blood.").
Of course intellectuals would offer the most moral and logical
arguments. Without that biological gift for measuring the cycles of the moon
and planets, how could a woman master any discipline that demanded a sense
of time, space, mathematics--or the ability to measure anything at all?
Liberal males would try to be kind. The fact that "these people" have no
gift for measuring life, the liberals would explain, should be punishment
enough.

The End

posted June 07, 2006 06:39 PM            

Well, "men"-struation will never happen, but they WILL go thru "man"-opause

quote:

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Although most people know that Menopause has generated a large population of women who have excessive rates of bone fracture and CHD, men also suffer from these conditions. The male menopause or Andropause, is due to hypogonadism- low testosterone levels. Andropause, the word, appeared in the literature in 1952 and is defined at the "natural cessation of the sexual function in older men." Andropause also refers to sexual regression in men over 40 due to dropping male hormone levels.

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posted June 14, 2006 02:02 PM              

Causes mood swings also.

posted July 03, 2006 04:19 AM            

This is neat If anyone reads between the lines, they can find a lot in your original post- at least that's how it is for me. Unlike some other fellow knowflakes here, I am less knowledgeable when it comes to male menopause, male mood swings etc, but what I saw in the original post was more than those. It's smart satire, I would say. And it makes me think further about the men and women issues. I need some time to think harder.

posted July 03, 2006 09:33 AM            

Fascinating! I'm with you. The whole thing is worth further studying

posted July 04, 2006 08:44 PM              

I do not think you are weird. I wish I were a guy too.
Until I was 4 or so, I thought I would grow up to be a man. What a rude awakening to discover otherwise!