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Author
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Topic: Disowned my Mother
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thirteen
Knowflake Posts: 1107
From: Rochester Hills, MI USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted October 30, 2006 01:20 PM
 
Basically im getting off the chaos wheel. She lives w. brother who is probably still on drugs. They let my grandmothers house go into forclosure. My grandfather built that house and it was paid off for the last 3-4 decades. She has no where to live. Last year when she had a heart attack i had made several pmts to keep it going. TOday i heard my brother took the siding off the house and whats underneath is a mess. I lost it. I called her a pig and white trash. I never want to be associated with that again. It has been years and years of those two trying to get anything they could get off me and now that she thinks shes moving into an apartment she doesn't have the move in money so who do you think she would try to manipulate for that? I think she also has a gambling problem.
What a mess. I made myself free of it today and I have no regrets. IP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 6485
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004
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posted October 30, 2006 01:29 PM
thirteen ~Congratulations on declaring your freedom and independence from parasites!! I'm glad to see you will not allow these psychic and emotional vampires to suck any more of your life essence from you!! Something Sylvia Browne's Spirit Guide told her made a lot of sense to me. Sylvia's mother was, shall we say, not a wonderful shining light of a person. Sylvia was struggling with the dictate to "Honor Thy Father and Mother." She asked her Spirit Guide about it, and her Spirit Guide replied, "Yes -- honor them -- if they are honorable." Zala IP: Logged |
thirteen
Knowflake Posts: 1107
From: Rochester Hills, MI USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted October 30, 2006 01:36 PM
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT.
P.S. I ALWAYS LOVE READING YOUR POSTSIP: Logged |
Kamilla
Knowflake Posts: 860
From: NJ USA
Registered: Apr 2006
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posted October 30, 2006 01:44 PM
 I am sure it was not an easy step. Hugs IP: Logged |
Bluemoon
Knowflake Posts: 4456
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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posted October 30, 2006 03:02 PM
 IP: Logged |
Mirandee
Knowflake Posts: 4812
From: South of the Thumb - Taurus, Pisces, Cancer
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted November 01, 2006 12:40 AM
How terrible, thirteen. I think you did the right thing and the best thing for you. I know it was a hard choice to make. I admire your strength and courage in making the choice that you did. Just wanted to add that we are neighbors. You live in the city next door to me. I am in Shelby. Used to live in Rochester Hills years ago.  IP: Logged |
thirteen
Knowflake Posts: 1107
From: Rochester Hills, MI USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted November 01, 2006 08:38 AM
Wow, hi neighbor. I know Shelby sorta well. Because we lived in Lake Orion before Roch Hills we tend to go in that direction all the time.
Thanks for the support.
The funny thing here is is that this has taught me something I wasn't expecting. It seems to be an act against someone else but in reality it was an act of self respect. I feel such a deep sense of peace that I have never felt in my life . I think i am going to get some happiness in life afterall.IP: Logged |
tuxedo meow
Knowflake Posts: 878
From: Texas Gulf Coast, USA
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted November 01, 2006 10:35 AM
hello thirteen! Good boundary work! I got this from a goddess sight (will be back with exacts later)also let it be known i worship no false dieties LOL
DURGA:GODDESS OF BOUNDARIES
I fiercely protect myself
with all that I am
with all that I have
from deep within
I call forth all that I need
I am the "inaccessible"
for I place myself beyond the reach of
all that would destroy me
all that would annihilate me
all that tries to wound me
I am the "unapproachable" for nothing can get at me
that I do not willingly let in
I dance my dance of oneness
Only with what supports me
nurtures me
For all that does not
I say: Approach at your own risk!luv, tux
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Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 6485
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004
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posted November 01, 2006 12:06 PM
Nice poem, tux!! I like that line "willingly let in" -- it took me a long time to understand that concept..... Glad you're feeling so free from the release of a possible feeling of "obligation to or responsibility for" your mom, thirteen  PS: I have family in Roch Hills Zala IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 8591
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted November 01, 2006 12:47 PM
I have learned over the years how vital it is to our health and sanity to have boundaries especially with our families.My father expected me, (when my mother died) I think to carry on where my mother left off...I had to explain clearly to him that I wasnt, her, was nothing like her, didnt think like her and that i was his DAUGHTER...... Families are hard work at times...!!! My Dad rings me threatening suicide at times and I told him that I am not always up for this. He actually said "I must learn to be less selfish and maybe ring you when I dont feel like this"... He never grew up, but that doesnt mean I have to be his mother....or anyone elses, other than our sons.... I believe our choices to stand apart from our family is a very personal one....I have now realised (for me) there is a way to communicate with them, but not to be in fear of them...and to learn to put my health and sanity before being a dutiful daughter, sister etc. It feels very empowering to speak out as the adult and not to feel pressurised or in fear of our parents. It feels even better to have "grown up" Good luck ! xx IP: Logged |
thirteen
Knowflake Posts: 1107
From: Rochester Hills, MI USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted November 01, 2006 01:53 PM
Ond day last week or so i was driving home from work. There was a sign on the freeway overpass and i thought it was another right to life sign like i sometimes see. This one was different. It said.
" All they have is fear" I knew this was for me to see and I knew it meant that whomever was holding onto me by making me fearful was going to have their day soon. What i did not know that day was that it was my mother who had been holding onto me for most of my life because she knew that i was afraid to speak out against her. ( i really thought it was my mother in law because there is something there too that needs to be dealt with but knowing what i know now she is small time compared to my own mother-family's mess.) That was a message from the universe.IP: Logged |
tuxedo meow
Knowflake Posts: 878
From: Texas Gulf Coast, USA
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted November 01, 2006 11:12 PM
Boundaries are good to have and to learn. Two rituals I made up to strengthen me when dealing with My mom follow. (12th house
Plutonian ascendent story) Boundaries clarify spirit, love and forgiveness detox spirit? love and forgive are not twin doormats and believe me i am no saint!LOL! What I mean I think is boundaries, then loving detachment work well in spiritual refinement-also something To do when there is no-thing else TO do...take my word, these not only strengthen you but release you from what may be "karmic" ties. REmember my favorite quote from the movie "Natural Born Killers" With Woody Harrelson mm-hmm! The quote, "Only love can kill the demon." (and, laughing in the face of danger gives you wings)
1. Find a few meditative time warps in your day ie, in traffic, vacuuming, waiting for kids or make some for yourself. Think of her, as she is now. If you cannot absolutely and completely love and forgive her and see her innocence, humaness, and goodness ALL THREE then make her younger in your mind a young mother NO a pre mother? Take her back in age in your minds eye until you can. If you put her prebirth and back to the Universal to do that then do so- Deduct her age back to Pleidean particles if that is what it takes. You will be both giving respect to your mother and your ancestors. Remember this is for your benefit not hers,it is to cleanse toxins you received in this relationship not hers or his- Do this a few times a day for awhile and voila! A peaceful yet strong shield for you!
2.
Got the idea for this one from watching "Roots" Get a baby doll, preferably a soft one (or since this is about INTENT use whatever-I used a soft baby doll...you could use a sack of potatoes!) Also in the above #1 part i had regressed her in my mind to a little darling pink and white coo-coo baby. If you've reduced her to parts of Pleides you could hold rocks or no thing. Just find the comfortable place you feel at one ment ( mine was the beach on a starry night) Lift her up above your head and dedicate her to the universe and all its blessings. Tell the Universe you give her to it in beauty and love (Fake it til you make it, do not be hard on yourself LOL)
PS expect some retaliation from doing this but nothing that can't be overcome luv, tuxIP: Logged |
thirteen
Knowflake Posts: 1107
From: Rochester Hills, MI USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted November 02, 2006 09:02 AM
tux, that is a wonderful ritual. In my mind i can get back to the time when she was innocent and in the hospital asleep. I didn't feel any negative stuff then. I imagined lifting her up to the universe and offering her in love and peace. It feels right in my soul and there are no bad feelings. Thank you so much.
P.S. I understand what you say about retaliation. I can deal. Thanks again.IP: Logged |
PhoenixFlight
Knowflake Posts: 61
From: MN USA
Registered: Oct 2006
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posted November 02, 2006 03:35 PM
Hi Thirteen,It can be difficult to set boundries, but it's even more difficult to CONTINUALLY enforce them.  There have been nothing but wonderful things said.  Stay strong! That's all any of us can hope to do. ------------------
When the student is ready the teacher will appear.
AKA - Kim Rogers IP: Logged |
TheEvolution
Knowflake Posts: 715
From: Mumbai, India
Registered: Aug 2005
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posted November 03, 2006 09:37 AM
what is ur mother's and brother's sign?IP: Logged |
thirteen
Knowflake Posts: 1107
From: Rochester Hills, MI USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted November 03, 2006 10:26 AM
Mother is a capricorn. / Don't know asc.
Brother is Aquarius ( highly unevolved aqu. as he has all negative aspects to the extreme.) Funny I am virgo with aqu. ascendant so you would think i would get along with both of them. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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