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Author Topic:   yeah seriously , why do women do this ? :p
cancerrg
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posted February 09, 2007 08:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for cancerrg     Edit/Delete Message

Why do women use sex as a weapon? (PumPum Power)

On yesterday's blog about a woman's rage, the following was said by
Empress Kathryn

"As to the matter of a woman scorned, I think we know a lot about this, if we think about it. How many of you women have withheld sex because you were angry? I have and I think that most women have. It is not always a matter of a "headache." It may just be that we are mad. It could be that we are tired because we have been dealing with the house, job and kids all day, but it could also be that you men didn't come home and help out and so we are a little ticked off at you. It could be that you forgot our birthday or anniversary and we want you to "pay" a little."


I think Kathryn is correct. Do I agree with women for doing that? I will answer like Dawn Penn "No No No". If the man is cheating, then yes, send him back to the woman he was cheating with, that's fair enough. But sometimes a woman punishes her man and the punishment does not even fit the crime. For example, if it's a man's turn to cook, but he did not, maybe he got caught up watching football, the woman have all right to be mad but withholding sex as a punishment should not even be thought of. A fair punishment would be for the woman to not cook when her turn to cook comes around again. I mean, what does food have to do with sex? (If you are a Bow Cat, no answer for that question is required). Seriously though ladies, use your power but don't abuse it. Furthermore the tactics you used with your boyfriend when you were younger should not be carried forward to your husband or man now that you are more mature. Let girls be girls and women be women.


Forgetting a birthday or an anniversary is the same thing. If your husband or man forgets your birthday then return the favor when his birthday comes around. Don't punish him when he comes to bed that night.

Ladies, if you use sex as a weapon sometimes, make sure the punishment always fits the crime. Don't abuse the power of the PumPum.


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eatbooks
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posted February 09, 2007 08:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for eatbooks     Edit/Delete Message
Sometimes its not about punishing, when women are upset, they shut down, and sex is usually the last thing on their minds. Usually theres a grieving/anger/etc phrase, then theres a opening to fix it. Men see it as punishing I guess...not always the case, not always so black and white.

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Dulce Luna
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posted February 09, 2007 09:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dulce Luna     Edit/Delete Message
The PumPum? LOL


In response to this:I don't even think its really about punishing the guy. I mean who has sex when they're angry?(No one answer that) When anyone is mad/angry/sad...sex is probably the last thing on their minds.

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Bluemoon
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posted February 09, 2007 09:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Bluemoon     Edit/Delete Message
Cancerrg, you have much to learn about women. We are not like men.

The best to you as you continue to learn about women and life.

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neptune5
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posted February 09, 2007 09:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for neptune5     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
Why do women use sex as a weapon? (PumPum Power)

well men are aroused visually; so for some women, they use it as a tool of manipulation, and yes the will use it, the reality is a lot of women are selfish and mean, especially when they don't appear to be.

------------------
Virgo Rising 8'57, Sagittarius Sun/4thH 3'26, Pisces Moon/6thH 8'22

"Our passions are not too strong, they are too weak. We are far too easily pleased." - C.S. Lewis

"Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror." - Kahlil Gibran

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Heart--Shaped Cross
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From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
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posted February 09, 2007 10:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Heart--Shaped Cross     Edit/Delete Message
Anger is a perfectly good reason not to share something personal and intimate, especially with the person you are angry at! Any reason is a good reason, because the bottom line is "I dont want to. I don't feel like it." There are areas in this life where we have to do things we do not want to (go to work, pay taxes, etc.), but sex should not be one of them! Sex isnt something that needs to happen every Tuesday and Friday. If you want a woman to open up to you, cancerrg, try a little tenderness. Do you take an interest in what she likes, and what pleases her? She is a person, just like you. You want her to share what is most personal with you? Come home on time. Help out. Be fair and considerate.

The things you mentioned are all perfect reasons to not open ourselves to someone. Any good woman would behave the same way. But, yes, there are women who will take advantage of that. They will get upset over nothing. They will use is as leverage - not to be treated as equals, but, to receive special treatment, and to control you and get you to do things that are above and beyond what can be expected. They use it to limit your freedom. I dont think sex should be used to bargain with for other things in the relationship. Usually, women have all the bargaining chips (not always, - I've been on the other side of that one a few times). I guess, it isnt a problem if it is a question of granting more sex, but, when it is about withholding sex which would otherwise be usual for the couple, that is messed up, lol. If it is like, "I will have more sex than usual, if we can watch Desperate Housewives instead of that show that we both like," that would be a fair trade, lol. But, if its like, "If you dont let me watch Desperate Housewives, instead of that show we both like, I am not having sex with you for a week." That's bad news.

I think, to some extent, it is very subjective, and depends a lot on the individual. Male or female, nobody should be expected to have sex under any conditions, and certainly not when the person is upset. So, what happens when your partner is miserable and upset for most of the time? Do you blame them, and pressure them to have sex, even though they are miserable? No. You try to cheer them up. Hopefully, you would try to do this anyway, because you want your partner to be happy, not just because you want to get your di** wet. If you find that you cannot cheer this person up, and they wont get on antidepressants or anything, you have three choices. 1. Get a divorce, find a less angry person 2. Cheat 3. resign yourself to a miserable marriage with an angry, frigid person. I think the last two are inadmissable for obvious reasons. I would opt for the 1st.


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Gemini Nymph
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posted February 09, 2007 11:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gemini Nymph     Edit/Delete Message
Women are more like men that we often care to admit.

In relationships, this is just a power play. People, oth men and women, often don't know how to have a relationship without it devolving into one power play over another, and this is just an example of it. It's just emotionally and spiritual immaturity.

Besides, men use sex as a weapon too. It's just we live in a society that assumes men want sex more than women, so if the woman "controls" the sex, she thinks she has a way to manipulate the man.

For me personally, if I'm mad a guy, I want to talk about it. If I can't talk about, I'm just going to be more p*ssed. Would I intentionally withhold sex because I'm mad? No, I don't think two adults need to be in a relationship where they are passive aggressively "punishing" each other like 3 year olds. However, if I'm mad and the guy won't talk about it, like hell I'm going to be in the mood to have sex with him. But at least he'll know why.

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Xena
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posted February 09, 2007 12:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Xena     Edit/Delete Message
I agree with HSC and GN.

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mysticaldream
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posted February 09, 2007 12:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mysticaldream     Edit/Delete Message
Wow, HSC, a truly wonderful response.

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future_uncertain
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posted February 09, 2007 02:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for future_uncertain     Edit/Delete Message
I don't view this as a power play, although I won't dismiss the idea that there may be some women (and even men) who withold sex simply for the sake of doing so. More often I would guess the reason for "witholding" sex has more to do with being temporarily unable to be intimate under those circumstances, as Steve said.

I can understand why sex may not take place under any of the conditions listed in the original post.

However... I know a girl who makes deals with her man (we go shopping tomorrow and you can have sex tonight) and I find that a bit strange. I couldn't utilize sexual relations in this manner, but to each his own, I guess.

If you've p*ssed me off, then it probably isn't going to happen until the storm has passed. Shouldn't both partners be "feeling" it if it is to happen at all?

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Heart--Shaped Cross
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posted February 09, 2007 05:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Heart--Shaped Cross     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks, xena and mysticaldream.

future,

It is a very personal thing, but, speaking for myself, I think sex can be "just sex", sometimes. It doesnt always have to be making love. I think two people can be comfortable with seeing it as another form of energy exchange. The important thing is to make the trade fair, so that neither person feels like they are begrudging something to the other person unwillingly. We all do things to make each other happy, and we all do things which we are not inspired to do for their own sakes, but for the sake of something else. But, like I said, I realize it is a matter of personal taste. I dont think I would be comfortable with "just sex" in a relationship, unless there were also plenty of moments of true, romantic intimacy. The more sacred moments there are, the more comfortable I am with "profane" ones.

hsc

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misterhank
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posted February 09, 2007 09:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for misterhank     Edit/Delete Message
Does this apply to men when they use sex as a weapon? I use sex as a drug/aphrodisiac. To simply release all that sexual energy I've been building up all day.

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Hank Campbell
Far Rockaway, Queens, NY
*Sun: 8th House/Leo, Moon: 3rd House/Pisces, Venus: 8th House/Leo, Mars: 6th House/Cancer, Jupiter: 8th House/Leo, Saturn: 8th House/Virgo, ASC: Capricorn

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CoralFrequency
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posted February 09, 2007 09:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CoralFrequency     Edit/Delete Message
Eatbooks,

quote:
when women are upset, they shut down, and sex is usually the last thing on their minds.

So true!

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-was Lauren-

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Scorpionic Web
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posted February 09, 2007 10:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Scorpionic Web     Edit/Delete Message
Denying a man sex will only bring more problems...

...but thats logic.

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MoonWitch
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posted February 09, 2007 10:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonWitch     Edit/Delete Message
So... if you are upset with someone have sex with them anyway to make them happy?


hahaha!
That's not manipulation. That's just emotions coming into play. I wouldn't give someone a back rub if I were upset with them either and sex is FAR more personal and FAR more intimate than that.

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sue g
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posted February 10, 2007 06:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
Men that have negative sexual attitudes to women

Usually have mother issues...

I know a few

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sue g
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posted February 10, 2007 06:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sue g     Edit/Delete Message
And as for denying a man sex...

Hahaha....

That goes for women too....especially Scorpio ones !!!!

Dont deny me of sex....or else you might just

DIE!!!

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