posted March 22, 2007 01:58 PM         

My only sadness comes from not being able to really hold him before he left. When the orders for me had gotten tied up he had to fly back to Germany alone to deal with the situation. We decided that I would stay, get surgery and join him in April or May. I told him it wasn't goodbye, but see ya later because I would be there before he knew it.

Most often, before a deployment, spouses get to spend some time together, but this situation was an exception. I know he'll be okay, and we were lucky that his flight was delayed 3 hours that Saturday so we could spend that time together..LOL... making kissy face in the airport LOL.... we're nuts.

Zala,

Thank you for the information. I was lucky in that my fibroid hasn't caused any bleeding or pain. I did get the tip off with a miscarriage last September and the pain with that, but I thought it was due to stress. Apparantly this sucker has been growing for years but I made the mistake of being afraid of going into my doctor because of a mistake a doc made years ago in misdiagnosing me with cervical cancer. As it turned out I was one of the patients that had been referred for laser surgery to treat an abnormal cellular patch that did not exist. It was part of a referral- insurance scheme.

This go round, everything was healthy, uterus, cervix and all other surrounding tissues with no evidence of any type of abnormal cells. The fibroid was the only issue. I only felt swelling around that time of the month but Bear said it felt like a lump and sure enough- it was. The gyno said it was the size of a small orange or lemon- similar to a 4 month fetus, but seemed uniform and non-cancerous on the ultrasound. We've been dealing with this issue since January but once my records are received by the Base in Spokane, then the ball will get rolling for surgery.

I hope to be in SX by the middle of April and fully recovered by the end of May or early June.

I will definitely look into acupuncture for follow up treatment on my back after the surgery. It is most likely that the surgeon that delivered both of my nephews via C-section will also do my myomyectomy as he also did my mother's co-workers surgery. He is one of the best surgeons in this area. I really didn't want it done where I lived in Arizona because the docs are not known for their surgical expertise, but my gyno was a godsend.

I will definitely stay positive because as I told the gyno, even if I have to have my uterus removed, I would rather lose the chance of having children that lose my life and the chance of spending time with Bear and my family.

I have made a decision to not go into teaching but instead follow the natural path of going into nursing as many of my aunts have done. I'd like to first get my RN degree and then onto becoming a nurse practioner. I'm torn between emergency/ trauma or working with disabled veterans. Maybe I can do both LOL.... lots of time to decide.

Again, thank you all... you are so wonderful and I appreciate you all being here as does Bear. He wanted me to let everyone know how much he misses everyone and that he will try to check in when he is able to get online.

posted March 22, 2007 02:05 PM         

TONS OF LOVE AND WHITE LIGHT to you and Bear, pid.

posted March 22, 2007 03:02 PM         

Yep, when it rains it pours LOL... I am keeping my head up and spirits up because I know there is no other way to handle such things. Getting down only leads to lowering the immune system and I need my health LOL...

Philly,

Dr. Griggs in Sierra Vista is GREAT!!!! He is kind, gentle and has a way of explaining the issues that makes a person feel real and validated. I am lucky to have the medical background so I did understand the diagnosis and complications associated with the surgery, but he made me feel even more at ease.

I have Tri-care, which is the Army's insurance and it rocks. Fort Huachuca has an excellent clinic and the staff was very professional as well as top quality. They just can't perform surgeries on post, so I would have to go to Sierra Vista regional. I worked with that outfit when I was in bioterrorism and I couldn't stand how the staff acted regarding important cases (again, that was only the staff that I encountered I am sure there are wonderful docs and nurses that work there). Any case we brought up was automatically referred to Tucson, as if the trauma / er staff couldn't fathom taking on the responsibility of our own county's people but instead felt the need to pass them on.

I could have gone to Phoenix (Litchfield Park) where my dad lives and used Luke Airforce Base, but I didn't want to recover at dad's house with my weird step-mom. I'll settle for my weird mom.. LOL....

I am sorry we didn't get to meet either. BUT... Bear and I will be retiring in Cochise County and will be stationed there in about 3-5 years depending on our next duty station. We are trying to get reassigned to Italy for 3 years after Germany, so we'll see how things work out. In the meantime we are looking at buying 4 acres in Hereford at some point- especially now that the prices are starting to drop again.

posted March 23, 2007 01:36 AM         

------------------
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

posted March 23, 2007 06:54 AM         

Fingers crossed that the surgery will go well. My Saggie mother had a lot of fibroids in her 20s, and had me in her early 30s because a hysterectomy was (at that time) definetely on the cards. But you are strong, and have plenty of bounce - whatever the outcome, you will get through this great, I know you will.

I'm wondering whether a lot of the delay and stalling is caused by Saturn in retro...seems to be a lot of stuckness about.

Love,

posted March 23, 2007 02:50 PM         

I think you may be onto to something regarding Saturn. We also had mercury retrograde during the time Bear and I were dealing with the orders- they kept getting hung up in cyberspace, they were sent to the wrong e-mail and so forth.. I still don't have them, but wow.... what a blessing that they DID get hung up. It would have been horrible for me to move to Ingleheim (a very small town) and have Bear leave a week later. The post where he is stationed is currently being deactivated and given back to the Germans and we'll be based out of Baumholder when he returns. I'd have lost my on Post support within a month of moving out there and the nearest post is in Weisbaden about 40 miles away.

I fully believe this Saggies Jupiter luck combined with blessings from God prevented that heartache from happening. I can't imagine being alone in a foreign country, without family while Bear is in Iraq. I would have also had to postpone my surgery until he got back because I wouldn't be able to recover alone in case of infection or bleeding.

I had a feeling a doozie was coming though. Bear is a Leo and Saturn is making it's way to his Sun and Mercury but it has been sending me happy beams (with the exception of when it is retro LOL). Having the knowledge that transiting Pluto is in my 4th house, sitting on my Sun and IC allowed me to prepared for the possibility of major domestic upheavals and potential reproductive problems.

With Pluto one must roll with the punches or the punches will get harder and faster until one submits. I suppose that is why I feel like I am standing in the the sunlight, arms stretched open, eyes closed saying.. "bring it on... teach me and show me the way... I won't fight it".

I learned from the conjunction 2 years ago that going with the transition / transformation brings blessings that are more remarkable than what I originally had. After I had submitted and stopped fighting changes... I met and fell in love with the most amazing man, joined an excellent organization that works with the community (which is how i met Bear) and landed an AWESOME job. I can only imagine what the Universe has to offer this time- even if only in the way of teaching me lessons.

Your mom sounds like a trooper Xena. I know that once the fibroid is removed and we conceive, I too will have to have a hysterectomy once the baby is born. The doctor said two births are rare after a fibroid is removed and a C-section is done for the first baby. I'm okay with that because I know that so many others have been through it and still have wonderful lives. Just being able to open up here and find out how many other knowflakes have had this surgery or have had relatives that had this surgery makes things so much easier.

Fayte,

WOW.... I can't believe you had to go through so many miscarriages. I am so sorry that you had to endure such pain. It had to be so hard to have your husband leave to Vietnam with such a severe lack of communication, especially with all the negativity flowing back here against that war here in the states.

My father is very symathetic to what Bear is going through as he too is a Vietnam Vet, a paratrooper like Bear, and he understands the situation. Fortunately, the technology is so much better these days.

I pray for Bear all the time. The night before he left I barely slept and last night I was all wound up. I know it will get easier and I am told this is a natural way to feel- anxious, worried, afraid- but I counter it with the knowledge that Bear is highly skilled and trained to deal events such as being captured. He's already been in Bosnia and Kosovo, but Iraq is so much different.

Thank you for sharing your experience fayte. I appreciate it...

Sunshine... I thought I had thanked you but realized that I left it out.. Thank you so much for posting and sending your well wishes.

I am going to start a thread for Bear.. so that when he comes online he will see everyone's well wishes and support.

Lots of Love!!!

posted April 01, 2007 11:38 PM         

Have the doctors scheduled the surgery yet?

posted April 01, 2007 11:43 PM         

------------------
Sun in Libra
Moon in Cancer
Jupiter in Cancer
Venus in Virgo
Mars in Cancer
Ascendant in Cancer

posted April 05, 2007 03:11 PM         

Not yet, but I do have the appointment with the surgeon on the 16th. I had to go through the entire process of getting a new family doc, then getting the referral to the gyno / surgeon and after that the sx will be scheduled. I'm incredibly happy that I was able to get my first choice of surgeon. He is the one that did both C-sections on my SIL and also removed fibroids from my mom's co-worker.

The tedious part is going over my records again and again like I did on Monday. It seemed each person neglected to even crack open the medical records I had brought with me. I also had to hear the old "wow, you have a fibroid... you know sometimes they can be cancerous and you may need a total hysterectomy".

Blech!!! I admire nurse practioners, but I still enjoy being able to speak with the doctor.

Libra,

I'll keep everyone updated Part of the problem with getting online is my access. I've been waiting for more than 3 weeks for Verizon to get their act together in order to start my dsl / wireless access. In the meantime, I am using AOL dialup LOL...

Take care everyone!!!!

posted April 05, 2007 04:08 PM         

------------------
Sun in Libra
Moon in Cancer
Jupiter in Cancer
Venus in Virgo
Mars in Cancer
Ascendant in Cancer

posted April 16, 2007 06:53 PM         

I miss and love you baby. I cant wait to come home and hold you in my arms again.

posted April 17, 2007 08:40 PM         

Thank you for posting baby- I know how much you want to be with you and in my heart you always are Everything turned out well, as you know

Blue,

I had the appointment yesterday and the Doc was amazing. He is the same doc that performed 2 C-sections on my SIL and did a fibroid removal on two of my mom's co-workers. He doesn't want to go straight into surgery, instead I will be receiving 3 hormone treatments designed to shrink the fibroid (even though there will be a few side affects like pseudo menopause) then I can go into surgery. The doc feels confident that this will go extremely well and Bear and I should be able to conceive after recovery.

I felt a million times better and things are looking brighter!!!

I hope all is well. I have to run and start on my stir-fry.

Hugs!!!

pidaua

Bear.. I love you bunches and bunches... I miss you with all my heart and soul honey!!!