Posts: 2141
From: CA
Registered: Jul 2003

posted April 19, 2007 01:40 PM         

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I wanted to share this email I rec'd from a mom friend of mine.

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Being A Mom
>>
>> We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter
>> casually mentions that she and her husband are
thinking of
>> "starting a family."
>>
>> "We're taking a survey," she says half-joking.
>>
>> "Do you think I should have a baby?"
>>
>> "It will change your life," I say, carefully
>> keeping my tone neutral.
>>
>> "I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on
>> weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."
>>
>> But that is not what I meant at all.
>>
>> I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to
>> tell her.
>>
>> I want her to know what she will never learn in
>> childbirth classes.
>>
>> I want to tell her that the physical wounds of
>> child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will
leave her with an
>> emotional wound so raw that she will forever be
vulnerable.
>>
>> I consider warning her that she will never again
>> read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had
been MY child?" That
>> every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her.
That when she sees
>> pictures of starving children, she will wonder if
anything could be
>> worse than watching your child die.
>>
>> I look at her carefully manicured nails and
>> stylish suit and think that no matter how
>> sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce
her to the primitive
>> level of a bear protecting her cub.
>>
>> That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to
>> drop a soufflé or her best crystal
>> without a moment's hesitation.
>>
>> I feel that I should warn her that no matter how
>> many years she has invested in her career, she will
be professionally
>> derailed by motherhood.
>>
>> She might arrange for child care, but one day she
>> will be going into an important business meeting
and she will think of
>> her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every
ounce of discipline
>> to keep from running home, just to make sure her
baby is all right.
>>
>> I want my daughter to know that every day
>> decisions will no longer be routine.
>>
>> That a five year old boy's desire to go to the
>> men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's
will become a major
>> dilemma. That right there, in the midst of
clattering trays and
>> screaming children,
>> issues of independence and gender identity will
>> be weighed against the prospect that a child
molester may be lurking in
>> that restroom.
>>
>> However decisive she may be at the office, she
>> will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.
>>
>> Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to
>> assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds
of pregnancy, but
>> she will never feel the same about herself.
>>
>> That her life, now so important, will be of less
>> value to her once she has a child. That she would
give herself up in a
>> moment to save her offspring, but will also begin
to hope for more
>> years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to
watch her child
>> accomplish theirs.
>>
>> I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny
>> stretch marks will become badges of honor.
>>
>> My daughter's relationship with her husband will
>> change, but not in the way she thinks.
>>
>> I wish she could understand how much more you
>> can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or
who never hesitates
>> to play with his child.
>>
>> I think she should know that she will fall in
>> love with him again for reasons she would now find
very unromantic.
>>
>> I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will
>> feel with women throughout history who have tried
to stop war,
>> prejudice and drunk driving.
>>
>> I want to describe to my daughter the
>> exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a
bike.
>>
>> I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a
>> baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat
for the first time.
>>
>> I want her to taste the joy that is so real it
>> actually hurts.
>>
>> My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize
>> that tears have formed in my eyes.
>>
>> "You'll never regret it," I finally say.
>>
>> Then I reached across the table, squeezed my
>> daughter's hand and offered a
>> silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all
>> the mere mortal women who stumble their way into
this most wonderful of
>> callings.
>>
>> Please share this with a Mom that you know or
>> all of your girlfriends who may someday be Moms.
>>
>> May you always have in your arms the one who is
>> in your heart.
>

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Posts: 2512
From: Japan
Registered: Aug 2003

posted April 19, 2007 09:10 PM         

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Thanks, lovely*.

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Posts: 451
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted April 19, 2007 09:24 PM         

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That describes it exactly.

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Posts: 1645
From:
Registered: Sep 2006

posted April 19, 2007 11:49 PM         

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Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted April 20, 2007 12:56 AM         

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*sniff

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Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted April 20, 2007 12:59 AM         

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passes by again to qualify that 'sniff' with a 'cry' which is what it actually was.. a big bloopy-teared one.

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Posts: 1140
From:
Registered: Oct 2003

posted April 20, 2007 01:10 AM         

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I cried too- and I have read this before-

thinking of my mother.
thinking of my best friend, about to give birth... and thinking of myself, for I will never be this, I will never really feel this.

MK

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Posts: 2141
From: CA
Registered: Jul 2003

posted April 20, 2007 03:30 AM         

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i cried too.

i cry again knowing others *feel* it.

being a woman is awesome...

i think of my little girls and how we may have these conversations.

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Posts: 2681
From: ohio
Registered: Aug 2004

posted April 20, 2007 10:32 PM         

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*sob* I KNOW!!!

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Posts: 1995
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007

posted April 20, 2007 10:40 PM         

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very touching, very nice.I am almost in tears.
I wonder if fathers would ever feel anything close to this?

------------------
Sun in Cancer
Moon in Cancer
Sag Asc.

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