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Author Topic:   Love yourself, need help.
NAM
Knowflake

Posts: 1995
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007

posted May 13, 2007 10:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for NAM     Edit/Delete Message
I need help, I have several souls at my charge that don't love themselves and bring negative forces around them, in return they have bad luck with things/issues in life.
How can I help them and make them see that they need to love themselves first to be able to give and receive love and have good luck.I know it goes a little deeper with loving yourself but I think it would be a good start.

Does this make sense?

*Sorry if it doesn't, sometimes I think I am the only crazy one with strong belives about positive powers and the result of it.

------------------
Sun in Cancer
Moon in Cancer
Sag Asc.
*Please call me Nelly from now on, this NAM thing is not me, I wish there was a way to change it! :(

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NAM
Knowflake

Posts: 1995
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007

posted May 13, 2007 10:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for NAM     Edit/Delete Message
^ ah...english spanish...sometimes I don't even know what I talk.

I meant , I am in charge of these people around me, I have adopt them.... yeah yeah...I am crazy, so what? it keeps me busy

------------------
Sun in Cancer
Moon in Cancer
Sag Asc.
*Please call me Nelly from now on, this NAM thing is not me, I wish there was a way to change it! :(

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Azalaksh
Knowflake

Posts: 6485
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted May 13, 2007 11:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Azalaksh     Edit/Delete Message
NAM ~

First, why don't you just re-register here as Nelly if you don't like NAM?

Second, your "adopted charges". I'm concerned about your famous Cancerian nurturing facet, meaning expending a whole lot of your energy to people who are possibly emotional vampires.

It's hard to teach people to love themselves, and you may never succeed -- their old bad habits and self-talk may be too deeply ingrained for them to easily change. But anyway, it would take frequent contact in daily situations, where you can be an example. It would also take DESIRE on the part of your charges to change, and willingness to let you help -- have they asked you to help, or is it your idea that they need help and you are just the one to do it?? The terrible known is less frightening than the terrible unknown for people who are stuck in unhealthy ruts.

It takes honest encouragement, pointing out their good thoughts/behavior. And they will have to have "successes" in order to continue their new patterns of thinking. You are not in charge of the choices they make for themselves. Sometimes it takes more compassion to stand back on the sidelines and let people learn for themselves (the hard way) than to leap into the fray with them.....

Good luck,
Zala

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NAM
Knowflake

Posts: 1995
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007

posted May 13, 2007 11:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for NAM     Edit/Delete Message
well, one of them is my mother and she brings me down with her and I can't have that, I have way too much responsability over my shoulders to let her do that.

the rest I don't sweat, they have no control over bringing me down and often they ask me for help with little issues so it makes it easier.

I actually tried signing in here under another two names but I was never allowed, I guess I can try now under my real name.

------------------
Sun in Cancer
Moon in Cancer
Sag Asc.
*Please call me Nelly from now on, this NAM thing is not me, I wish there was a way to change it! :(

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NAM
Knowflake

Posts: 1995
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007

posted May 13, 2007 11:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for NAM     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
It takes honest encouragement, pointing out their good thoughts/behavior. And they will have to have "successes" in order to continue their new patterns of thinking. You are not in charge of the choices they make for themselves. Sometimes it takes more compassion to stand back on the sidelines and let people learn for themselves (the hard way) than to leap into the fray with them.....


My father once told me you can't change the world by yourself, even know I do beleive I can not make a big change I can indirectly succeed with small changes, is about how you do it.

As i said, i don't have anything else to do so why not try.

------------------
Sun in Cancer
Moon in Cancer
Sag Asc.
*Please call me Nelly from now on, this NAM thing is not me, I wish there was a way to change it! :(

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Mirandee
Knowflake

Posts: 4812
From: South of the Thumb - Taurus, Pisces, Cancer
Registered: Sep 2004

posted May 13, 2007 01:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mirandee     Edit/Delete Message
All that Zala said here is very true, NAM. Good advice.

It's wonderful that you do care so much for other people and want to help but you can't really teach others to have self-confidence and self-love. That has to come from within every person.

Your mom sounds like my mom and that used to wear me down. So I hear ya on that.

I came to realize it was due to her obsessive compulsiveness, " the grass is always greener on the other side " kind of thinking. I realized that the best thing I could do for my own peace of mind was to learn to say "No" to her constant needs and wants. Also I learned to stop allowing it to affect me. See, we can change ourselves and how we react to other people's stuff but we can't change others. That has to come from within them and their desire to change.

Shows that you have a good heart and compassionate soul that makes you want to help others though and I admire that.

Nelly is a nice name. Knew a Nelly once growing up who was a friend of my mom's. Loved her.

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Bluemoon
Knowflake

Posts: 4456
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005

posted May 13, 2007 03:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Bluemoon     Edit/Delete Message
Dear Nellie,

I use to have a Dear Auntie named Nellie. Teaching some to love themsevles is difficult. ONe way is to love yourself so they may mimic you. Another way is to make sure they know how much they are loved and needed by others. It that just to basic?

I am with you, I truly believe in the power of positive thinking.

Here is a goo encouraging thing to put on your mirror:

"You are looking at the face of the person responsible for your happiness."

You seem like a wonderful person. I look forward to getting to know you better.

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MysticMelody
Moderator

Posts: 3521
From:
Registered: Dec 2005

posted May 13, 2007 03:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
Nelly, when you would usually give a gift, give them short books on Auras or Past Lives. Give them tarot cards. Print out short free reports on their Natal Charts (be sure to get the correct time etc). Once something opens their eyes, they will discuss things with you and you can point them toward things that meant something to your own growth. Once you plant the seed, it will take off on its own and they will in turn spread seeds to others. Choose fertile ground for the best results. Water a few times and then point them toward the hose (prayer/meditation, asking to be guided by the Universe). Be sure to only give them Beginner books that include Cautions about using the energy for the highest good, and doing things according to the will of the Higher Power/God/Universe rather than to manipulate energies to attempt to force things to happen that are not meant to happen (I like to refer people to the story of the Monkey's Paw which you can find on the net). Then continue doing your best to follow your highest path.

Remember, if you set them to far up on the path without the proper precautions, they may become lost and that will be your responsibility (karma). I think passing on Linda Goodman's Love Signs or Sun Signs is actually one of the nicest and safest ways to share.

I would read your mom a little snippet that you chose ahead of time for her Moon Sign and then read to her a little something you chose about your Dad's Sun and Moon, or someone else she knows well. Then a little of yours, keep it short and see if she is interested. Then you can leave her Love Signs with a bookmark in the place for her and you Dad's relationship or her and her sister, whoever she is closest too and would recognize.

Take it easy, one step at a time. You have the tools you need to find the other tools you need, and to accomplish what you are meant to accomplish.

Remember to Breathe and ask to be guided by your Higher Power every day.

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lalalinda
Moderator

Posts: 3291
From: nevada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted May 13, 2007 03:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lalalinda     Edit/Delete Message
the best lessons we learn
are those we learn through example.
Mary your heart is in the right place,
you will do just fine.
Right on girl!

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NAM
Knowflake

Posts: 1995
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007

posted May 13, 2007 05:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for NAM     Edit/Delete Message
I am going to have to come back to this tonight guys...thanks for the replies so far though, I need peace and quiet to elaborate on this one.

------------------
Sun in Cancer
Moon in Cancer
Sag Asc.
*Please call me Nelly from now on, this NAM thing is not me, I wish there was a way to change it! :(

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Mirandee
Knowflake

Posts: 4812
From: South of the Thumb - Taurus, Pisces, Cancer
Registered: Sep 2004

posted May 13, 2007 05:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mirandee     Edit/Delete Message
I think the only way to change your member name is to just re-register, Nelly.

You lose your listed number of posts and the register date changes but you can let everyone know that you used to be NAM. Maybe put that info on as a signature under your new screen name.

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NAM
Knowflake

Posts: 1995
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007

posted May 14, 2007 12:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for NAM     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
Mirandee wrote:
It's wonderful that you do care so much for other people and want to help but you can't really teach others to have self-confidence and self-love. That has to come from within every person.

Well, I wasn't all my life confident of who I am and it took me a while to love who I am inside and out , so maybe other people could learn as well.And please , i have my very down moments too, in fact my down low moments are so horrific most people would flip about the thoughts that go through my head, so I don't think I am above anything, but I always pull through and I think that can be related and tought.I hope.

quote:
Your mom sounds like my mom and that used to wear me down. So I hear ya on that.

I came to realize it was due to her obsessive compulsiveness, " the grass is always greener on the other side " kind of thinking. I realized that the best thing I could do for my own peace of mind was to learn to say "No" to her constant needs and wants. Also I learned to stop allowing it to affect me. See, we can change ourselves and how we react to other people's stuff but we can't change others. That has to come from within them and their desire to change.


yes, this one is my biggest challenge for sure, my dad was even wondering why in the world I would let her back in my life, she is a very troubled person, yet she has a lot of good things but her bad things weight her down everytime.
i was thinking about getting her that DVD of the secret in spanish, just to start somewhere, I think that is pretty basic.

quote:
Shows that you have a good heart and compassionate soul that makes you want to help others though and I admire that.

Nelly is a nice name. Knew a Nelly once growing up who was a friend of my mom's. Loved her.


Thank you.I used to hate that name because it is an old name, but i guess after 35 years is better to just start liking your birth name.
thanks for the kind words.

------------------
Sun in Cancer
Moon in Cancer
Sag Asc.
*Please call me Nelly from now on, this NAM thing is not me, I wish there was a way to change it! :(

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NAM
Knowflake

Posts: 1995
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007

posted May 14, 2007 12:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for NAM     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
"You are looking at the face of the person responsible for your happiness."


this is a very good idea! I am going to use this one Bluemoon, and I am thrill about getting to know you too and every one here (God knows I have been posting a lot, I figure the more i post the more you guys are going to start accepting me LOL ... I am not going nowhere people so you guys are stuck with me )

------------------
Sun in Cancer
Moon in Cancer
Sag Asc.
*Please call me Nelly from now on, this NAM thing is not me, I wish there was a way to change it! :(

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NAM
Knowflake

Posts: 1995
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007

posted May 14, 2007 12:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for NAM     Edit/Delete Message

MysticMelody~Those are some great ideas, I have been doing a little bit of planting seeds here and there and showing people with my own life and experiences but I think the chart thing is a great idea because it will teach them (hopefully) who they really are, and I think people just have such a hard time knowing who they are first that they get lost in a cold world where noone stops to help anyone else.
I don't know how many times i drove by situations where people are in need of help and there is noone that stops to help.i don't know if people just have tunnel vision to where they don't see outside their selfish existence or they just really don't care which it is really sad.

~I am going tomorrow to spend sometime myself looking for books you mention, for me this time and then after I read them I'll pass them on.

~I don't know how tarot cards would help though, you got me there.

~yes, I am with you with the manipulation issues as well... I have thought about that too.

~I am going to have to find that story about the monkey as well, you guys are just a well of information and I don't have a lot of time, i am so glad I found this site, this is exactly what I needed for me.

~I actually gave my sun signs book to my best friend the other day so she can read it.She is going through a lot .But who isn't?

quote:
I would read your mom a little snippet that you chose ahead of time for her Moon Sign and then read to her a little something you chose about your Dad's Sun and Moon, or someone else she knows well. Then a little of yours, keep it short and see if she is interested. Then you can leave her Love Signs with a bookmark in the place for her and you Dad's relationship or her and her sister, whoever she is closest too and would recognize.

This is going to take some challenge , she is not close to anyone, in fact she separates herself from the world,i think she thinks everyone is against her.My mom and dad divorced when I was 14, and then she close all communication with her family, i didn't talk to her for 10 years, finally the year before last we started talking agin, in fact she totally disappear from all of us.
i have tried to look at her chart and figure out why she is like that but i don't have an exact birth time, all i know is that she was born at night on August 15 1947 in Bari Italy,but withoout knowing the brith time it is hard for me as a newbie to figure out her chart.

oh well...Thank you for all your help these have gave me a lot of ideas.And yes i am taking my time, little by little, i have nowhere else to go

------------------
Sun in Cancer
Moon in Cancer
Sag Asc.
*Please call me Nelly from now on, this NAM thing is not me, I wish there was a way to change it! :(

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NAM
Knowflake

Posts: 1995
From: Sunny place.
Registered: Jan 2007

posted May 14, 2007 12:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for NAM     Edit/Delete Message
Lalalinda, where you talking to me? or is there someone name Mary in here?

------------------
Sun in Cancer
Moon in Cancer
Sag Asc.
*Please call me Nelly from now on, this NAM thing is not me, I wish there was a way to change it! :(

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Mirandee
Knowflake

Posts: 4812
From: South of the Thumb - Taurus, Pisces, Cancer
Registered: Sep 2004

posted May 14, 2007 12:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mirandee     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
I figure the more i post the more you guys are going to start accepting me LOL ... I am not going nowhere people so you guys are stuck with me..Nelly

You're a nice person to be stuck with, Nelly.

I am not certain but I think lalalinda was talking to Bluemoon when she said Mary.

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lalalinda
Moderator

Posts: 3291
From: nevada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted May 14, 2007 03:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lalalinda     Edit/Delete Message
Yes Nelly , Sorry about that.
I have no idea where I got Mary.

Re-register, and put "formally known as the knowflake NAM" with your signature for a little while untill knowflakes get used to your new name.
Do it,(re-register) you'll feel so much better

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MysticMelody
Moderator

Posts: 3521
From:
Registered: Dec 2005

posted May 14, 2007 08:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Nelly It's nice that you and your Mom are getting a chance to re-connect. Well, you could share things about your own chart with her. You can start with her Sun and Moon sign, that will be more than enough. You will probably be able to figure out where the moon was when she was born with the limited information you have right now.

Here is the Monkey's Paw story
http://gaslight.mtroyal.ab.ca/mnkyspaw.htm

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