posted May 18, 2007 05:02 AM         

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It is important that children learn how to behave and control their own behaviour as they get older. Parents have a very important job as a role model for their children in helping them to learn how to do this.

Teaching children from a young age by setting limits and explaining reasons for these limits helps to instil self-discipline. Smacking, which controls your child from the outside, has no long-lasting positive effect. In fact smacking usually has to increase in severity in order to have the same impact on your growing child. This is when the thin line between smacking and hitting can be crossed.

Smacking does not teach children self-discipline

Children learn best by attention to things they do well

There are many positive alternatives to smacking

Smacking teaches children to hurt others

When self-discipline is taught, smacking becomes unnecessary

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Warning signs
A child who flinches when they will be hit.
Smacking a child in frustration with a force, which in hindsight was unnecessary.
Leaving bruising and other marks on a child.

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Smacking that causes harm, bruises or causes reddening of the skin or mental harm is seen as ill treatment.

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In short, smacking is a (negative) short term solution, it’s also giving the child attention for negative behaviour. Encouraging children’s self-discipline and positive behaviour is more positive and long lasting.

I’m kind of relieved that my mum doesn’t really hit. And it's really sad when you see those little kids get hit in the store by their psycho mum who just does not stop screaming at her baby – prolly where the child got it from.
And the self-discipline thing is correct, my sister is an angel even during her terrible twos – not one embarrassing tantrum in public, or at home.

I believe children and animals should never be hit. I’ve actually seen people hit their dogs. The worst was this guy whose dog was trying to bite mine. He grabbed the dog, pulled him high by his collar, then flipped and smacked him on the floor. I was shocked…just shocked – and so was my dog...my God!!!

posted May 18, 2007 10:37 AM         

I admire your fiery passion for animals. You'll make a great animal patrolman.

I have no idea. Oh man. I don't know any good idea for such situations. All I can say is you kill your own, you kill yourself. You beat up your own, well, you beat up yourself.

posted May 18, 2007 05:32 PM         

I was spanked as a child, along with friends, and we grew up fine young gentlemen, still able to dissent in a respectable manner when the time comes. I am fine that my mom spanked me if I was out of control, wouldn't have it any other way and taught me to be respectable. Kids these days, are rarely spanked, that I see. There is a noticeable difference between kids today and the kids I grew up with. They can't do as much as me and my friends could, don't show as much respect to older people as we did (I work at a daycare and have been around one all my life and have noticed the trends.) Some of them that I watch now at daycare, could use a real good spanking from their parents, because none of the other diplomatic stuff you speak of has worked.

Don't underplay kids ability to realize weakness in adults. They are very quick to realize lack of authority in adults and they are good at taking advantage of that. Authority needs to be imposed, and spanking is the last resort of that if all else fails. When I was spanked, there was a looonnnng time that went by before I acted up again. Today, I see kids act up 5 minutes after they are spoken to all the damn time. When all else fails, instilling a little fear isn't the worst, its not even fear in fact, more tough love.

If done effectively, spanking can have a drastic impact. It did on me, it put me in my place when I acted way out of control. The problem is, most parents don't do it effectively and use it as a first resort. If you spank the kid on the ass, it is plenty cushioned, but still sends a message.

posted May 19, 2007 06:15 PM         

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Don't underplay kids ability to realize weakness in adults. They are very quick to realize lack of authority in adults and they are good at taking advantage of that.

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Anyway, I’m not going to tell people how to raise their kids. Nor would I want to. I just don’t think it’s necessary to use violence just because it’s been done in the past. It’s cruel to watch a child get hit.
Yes children can be brats, but so can adults. Some people are just like that.
Maybe if these parents actually bothered to spend time with their kids and teach them self respect and discipline, then they wouldn’t need to smack them about..

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Than again, you have all these outside restrictions now on what parents can and can't do to their own darn children, it is crazy.

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posted May 19, 2007 07:18 PM         

And I don't recall saying "hit". A good spank on the bottom, which is well cushioned, is completely different than a hit, and not to violent. It sends a message, if it is used as a last resort. If reasoning/talks, taking a child's possessions away (TV, videogames, toys), grounding, no friends and desert hasn't worked, than yes, spanking should be used, a lot of the time. When I say last resort, I mean it. And those are just some of the non physical things I would try first. Obviously different punishments come to your mind in the heat of the moment, like having them stand in the corner, after all the other non physical things have failed.

And some adults act like brats, probably because they didn't have good authority figures when they were young. Now I didn't say they lacked a parent that spank them, but was no good in showing "who is boss." I mean, its great to be buddy buddy, thats what you hope to for all the time, but sometimes you need to step in with a little tough love.

As for age, I guess thats up to the parent to decide. But I think by a few years, if things are out of control, and many non physical things have been tried (discussed above) it is called for. What age does it stop? Hopefully soon. I mean, my mom sat on her 14 year old child once. different than spanking, but it was to confine him and control his terrible behavior at the time. She used a little physical tough love when all else had failed, and it worked a heck of a lot better than restrictions and talks had.

"They’re not Rottweilers"

posted May 19, 2007 07:35 PM         

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A good spank on the bottom, which is well cushioned, is completely different than a hit, and not to violent.

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If reasoning/talks, taking a child's possessions away (TV, videogames, toys), grounding, no friends and desert hasn't worked, than yes, spanking should be used, a lot of the time. When I say last resort, I mean it. And those are just some of the non physical things I would try first. Obviously different punishments come to your mind in the heat of the moment, like having them stand in the corner, after all the other non physical things have failed.

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Not at all, as I stated, kids are very smart.

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