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Author
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Topic: Well, I hope its not cancer
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Motherkonfessor
Knowflake Posts: 1140
From:
Registered: Oct 2003
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posted June 07, 2007 11:46 PM
 
Hey yo Lindaland..I haven't been around much.
This is my super busy time, working 13 hours a day, getting my operation functional. Its been a rough start. I promised myself I wouldn't ignore 'me' in this whole process, so I have been trying to take care of my health. So, I am scheduled for surgery on June 21.
Yesterday was my consultation with the surgeon, and I got to sign a paper saying I understand that they may have to remove my entire thyroid if I do, in fact, have cancer.
Agreeing to the fact that i realise I may suffer permanent loss of my voice should something go wrong. joy. i am reaching the bottom of this bottle of Maker's Mark awfully quick- hey, its now my weekend- and listening to The Cure hasn't been this appealing since I was a 14 year old angst ridden goth chick. I'm sure I will be fine- its just- listening to "How Soon is Now" brings back the memory of the first time I heard it as kid... the wonder, the thrill, the belief that life could maybe be fantastical....
and now- who knows?
MK IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 5301
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted June 08, 2007 12:52 AM
Wild, what a shocking thing to see.
Scary shite to have to face, no matter how brave you are or what you have to sign.You have my admiration, as well as my love.. oh, and also, all the best wishes I can muster.
I pray you get to keep your voice, it's important! And if you are unable to do that, that it be the best for your body in order to keep you among the messed up people of the world as a shining example of what they could be if they stopped sucking so badly.
Wow ... I meant for that to be more poetic, but I can't think of how to say it. If you must lose your ability to speak, I know you'll find amazing new ways of communicating, and you'll make silence the new black.
Much love.
I'll be thinking of you during that time. IP: Logged |
fayte.m
Knowflake Posts: 9809
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat. fayte1954@hotmail.com
Registered: Mar 2005
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posted June 08, 2007 12:57 AM
 Wishing the very best for you. 
Love and Blessings to you MK.{{{HUGS}}}
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~Judgement Must Be Balanced With Compassion~
~Do Not Seek Wealth From The Suffering, Or The Dire Needs Of Others~
~Assumption Is The Bane Of Understanding~
~ if you keep doing what you did, you'll keep getting what you got.~
}><}}}(*> <*){{{><{
~~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~
~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~~
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AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 11943
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
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posted June 08, 2007 01:13 AM
Oh gosh  That doesn't sound nice at all.I hope it's not cancer, too. "Fight" by The Cure Sometimes there's nothing to feel
Sometimes there's nothing to hold
Sometimes there's no time to run away
Sometimes you just feel so old
The times it hurts when you cry
The times it hurts just to breathe
And then it all seems like there's no-one left
And all you want is to sleep Fight fight fight
Just push it away
Fight fight fight
Just push until it breaks
Fight fight fight
Don't cry at the pain
Fight fight fight
Or watch yourself burn again
Fight fight fight
Don't howl like a dog
Fight fight
Just fill up the sky
Fight fight fight
Fight til you drop
Fight fight fight
And never never
Never stop Fight fight fight
Fight fight fight So when the hurting starts
And when the nightmares begin
Remember you can fill up the sky
You don't have to give in
You don't have to give in Never give in
Never give in
Never give in IP: Logged |
Neferemi
Knowflake Posts: 170
From: Amused
Registered: Feb 2007
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posted June 08, 2007 02:13 AM
Did your surgeon discuss the option of an endoscopic axillary underarm ("bloodless") thyroidectomy? It goes in under the arm instead of the neck, and it leaves the laryngeal and voice nerves 100% completely safe. ~~~~~~~~
¡Viva la Cure! IP: Logged |
MysticMelody
Moderator Posts: 3521
From:
Registered: Dec 2005
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posted June 08, 2007 02:34 AM
She already communicates better than 95% of the people who DO have a voice, huh Pix? MK, we will pray for you. God bless you and heal you! You will have the best possible result. I like Neferemi's info. That sounds good. Lets just keep visualizing healthy cells. Send those cells some lovin'!! 
Keep praying and letting love in and know that we will pray for you and keep sending our love too. What a kick ass song, AG. How perfect for her.  IP: Logged |
pidaua
Knowflake Posts: 7314
From: Schweinfurt to Grafenwoehr all within 6 months LOL
Registered: May 2002
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posted June 08, 2007 02:41 AM
Ahh... yes, Makers Mark... I chose Merlot when I had my news about the fibroid and potential hysterectomy...But..... once I went through that.. I realized it would take an optimisic attitude to get through it. I know you are strong and while it is great to hope for the best but prepare for the worst, the HOPE part is always the best medicine. My MIL had that surgery as well as a hysterectomy- she is strong as an ox and seems to be doing well on the thyroid replacement. I found that doing tons of research, looking at all the options, expectations from the sx and all that fun stuff helped. My prayers will be with you...
pidaua
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Waiting for my Soldier Bear to come home the Sandbox.. I love you Bear...Forever and a Day.... www.IMWITHFRED.com Fred Thompson 2008 :D IP: Logged |
Mirandee
Knowflake Posts: 4812
From: South of the Thumb - Taurus, Pisces, Cancer
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted June 08, 2007 02:41 AM
Sorry to hear about this, MK Hopefully it turns out not to be cancer and hopefully you don't lose your voice. Sending prayers and positive energy your way that everything turns out good for you. Boy, life just throws us some real curve balls at times.
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pidaua
Knowflake Posts: 7314
From: Schweinfurt to Grafenwoehr all within 6 months LOL
Registered: May 2002
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posted June 08, 2007 02:43 AM
PS... I LOVE the Cure... I listen to them often... especially when I am blue. I've been a fan since the 80's  Ahhh... where are my CD's... I feel nostalgia coming on. IP: Logged |
26taurus
Knowflake Posts: 13411
From: *
Registered: Jun 2004
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posted June 08, 2007 02:44 AM
((*big Hugs, MK*))Nothing could silence your Voice...
...& nothing would. Know that. to you. 
IP: Logged |
BlueRoamer
Knowflake Posts: 3944
From: Calm Blue Ocean, Calm Blue Ocean
Registered: Jun 2003
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posted June 08, 2007 02:56 AM
Awww MK.I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this hard time. Sending you some love and healing. IP: Logged |
Peri
Moderator Posts: 2447
From: Kyiv, Ukraine
Registered: Dec 2003
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posted June 08, 2007 03:31 AM
You are in my prayers, MK IP: Logged |
lalalinda
Moderator Posts: 3291
From: nevada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted June 08, 2007 04:08 AM
sending positive thoughts for positive actions IP: Logged |
SattvicMoon
Knowflake Posts: 2282
From:
Registered: May 2007
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posted June 08, 2007 06:53 AM
Sending you positive vibes and prayers my friend!  ------------------
Welcome to my Blog: The RechargeHouse IP: Logged |
Eleanore
Moderator Posts: 2512
From: Japan
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted June 08, 2007 08:04 AM
Very sad to see you facing something like this, MK. You have such a gift for communication that I don't believe you could ever be truly silenced. It would be unfair all around. My best wishes for you and your health.  IP: Logged |
Bluemoon
Knowflake Posts: 4456
From: Stafford, VA USA
Registered: Feb 2005
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posted June 08, 2007 08:27 AM
Love and Healing to you, Mother. IP: Logged |
Yin
Knowflake Posts: 1409
From:
Registered: May 2004
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posted June 08, 2007 09:43 AM
MK, my heart goes out to you.
IP: Logged |
noreenz
Knowflake Posts: 1229
From: No.CAL
Registered: Feb 2004
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posted June 08, 2007 09:54 AM
MK-Sorry to hear you are having to go through this. Sending prayers and healing.
NoreenIP: Logged |
Dulce Luna
Knowflake Posts: 4598
From: The Asylum
Registered: Mar 2006
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posted June 08, 2007 09:57 AM
Oh, I'm sorry about that, MK. I hope that isn't the case (that it is cancer).
Wishing you the best!
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taurus/gemini cusp
Knowflake Posts: 647
From: London, England
Registered: Sep 2006
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posted June 08, 2007 10:46 AM
Best of luck MK. Sending you lots of love and best wishes. I'm currently waiting for results concerning possible breast cancer, so I do empathise - it's no fun, eh?! All the best. IP: Logged |
Solane Star
Knowflake Posts: 5378
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted June 08, 2007 11:03 AM
MUCH LOVE, BLESSINGS & SHOUTING GOING ON!!!!You'll BE HEARD, theres no doubt in my mind!!! TOO A STRONG SPEEDY RECOVERY!!! IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 11943
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
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posted June 08, 2007 06:18 PM
How goes it?IP: Logged |
InLoveWithLife
Knowflake Posts: 1530
From: Wonderland
Registered: Aug 2006
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posted June 08, 2007 06:24 PM
praying for you.... IP: Logged |
Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 6485
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004
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posted June 08, 2007 08:27 PM
MK ~Sending my love, and my thoughts on a successful operation with no loss of vocal cords I remember how I felt when I had to sign that kind of permission-granting before my hysterectomy, about the suspicious cyst on my ovaries and what I was giving them the go-ahead to excise while I was unconscious, in the event they found cancer..... You have a lot of people here rooting for you sweetie, a lot of strong positive energy Your new mantra now is: "I will be fine!! I have a lot to do still!!" Visualize yourself after the surgery -- healed and well and singing in the shower!! Big Squeezy {{{ hugs }}} Z IP: Logged |
Motherkonfessor
Knowflake Posts: 1140
From:
Registered: Oct 2003
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posted June 10, 2007 12:32 AM
thanks, all of you, for the good energies I have spent 36 out of the past 48 hours sleeping. Yes, I know its denial, but my Neptune dominated self sometimes finds great solace in the world of dreams. I feel latent guilt- its been utterly beautiful these past 2 days I have had off of work, especially since I may be bedridden against my will soon. pix- I know what you are saying. Blame it on the upcoming Mercury Rx that the things we say don't sound like what our hearts are really trying to say. taurus/gemini cusp- I am sorry you are in the same place. Didn't I read you are recently engaged? Congrats! AG- yes, that song is perfect. i do have "kiss me kiss me kiss me" but it skips terribly. To all... thanks. I am not trying to be a Drama Queen- but the love feels good right now. All of my instincts say this isn't right. All my life I have had this irrational "thing" about my neck, and about knives. Ironic how these things manifest themselves, eh?
I spent my few waking hours on friday trying to get an appointment with an endocrinologist. That's near impossible out here- the soonest would be in August. I have only been advised by a GP and a surgeon. The surgeon says that FNA is pointless. they want to completely excise my right thyroid lobe. I feel powerless- its my body, and I feel as if I have no choice. I have already booked my mother flights to come out here. I don't know if I should postpone. If I do have cancer, that's a pretty stupid decision. On the other hand, I am not unhealthy. All systems are good. Aggggh, I hate this. I haven't listened to this much Depeche Mode in years. HAH! MK IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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