Author
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Topic: Zen of Sarcasm
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Heart--Shaped Cross Knowflake Posts: 7178 From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA Registered: Aug 2004
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posted July 04, 2007 07:51 PM
Zen of Sarcasm 01. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone. 02. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. 03. Its always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. 04. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. 05. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else. 06. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 07. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. 08. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 09. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you. 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment. 12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield. 14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. 16. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. 18. There are two theories for arguing with women. Neither one works. 19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. 20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 21. Never miss a good chance to shut up. 22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night IP: Logged |
naiad Knowflake Posts: 1645 From: Registered: Sep 2006
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posted July 04, 2007 08:32 PM
nice to see you in good spirits. IP: Logged |
ListensToTrees Knowflake Posts: 3844 From: Infinity Registered: Jul 2005
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posted July 05, 2007 03:18 AM
Haha! Excellent! Where did you find this? quote: 08. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
quote: 17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
That one is my favorite! quote: 20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Ironic, eh? Hehe.IP: Logged |
SattvicMoon Knowflake Posts: 2282 From: Registered: May 2007
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posted July 05, 2007 05:32 AM
quote: 15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
I hear you! ------------------ Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak, sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go IP: Logged |
Solane Star Knowflake Posts: 5378 From: Ontario, Canada Registered: Jun 2005
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posted July 05, 2007 08:02 AM
05. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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Bluemoon Knowflake Posts: 4456 From: Stafford, VA USA Registered: Feb 2005
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posted July 05, 2007 10:04 AM
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SunChild Moderator Posts: 4032 From: Australia Registered: Jan 2004
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posted July 05, 2007 10:12 AM
------------------ For each new morning with its light, For rest and shelter of the night, For health and food, for love and friends, For everything Thy goodness sends. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
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BlueRoamer Knowflake Posts: 3944 From: Calm Blue Ocean, Calm Blue Ocean Registered: Jun 2003
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posted July 05, 2007 01:47 PM
I, of course, like this one:22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night IP: Logged |
Highly_Inflammable Knowflake Posts: 330 From: some where far and forgotten Registered: Apr 2007
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posted July 05, 2007 02:17 PM
.... jokes apart, hand on my heart .... I truely believe these..... Voice of WISDOM..
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them .............
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fayte.m Knowflake Posts: 9809 From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat. fayte1954@hotmail.com Registered: Mar 2005
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posted July 05, 2007 03:34 PM
quote: If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
------------------ ~Judgement Must Be Balanced With Compassion~ ~Do Not Seek Wealth From The Suffering, Or The Dire Needs Of Others~ ~Assumption Is The Bane Of Understanding~ ~ if you keep doing what you did, you'll keep getting what you got.~ }><}}}(*> <*){{{><{ ~~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ IP: Logged |
libraschoice7 Knowflake Posts: 1976 From: Arizona Registered: Jul 2006
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posted July 06, 2007 04:33 PM
That was funny HSC I'll have to remember the one about not taking sleeping pills and laxatives at the same time lol! Also "If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments." True ------------------ Sun in Libra Moon in Cancer Jupiter in Cancer Venus in Virgo Mars in Cancer Ascendant in Cancer I "FEEL" therefor I am IP: Logged |
26taurus Knowflake Posts: 13411 From: * Registered: Jun 2004
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posted July 06, 2007 05:11 PM
i sent these to my Dad and he sent it back with his "answers".here's a couple: If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Truth is how you see it too be. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night True... you may **** on your dreams. IP: Logged |
Heart--Shaped Cross Knowflake Posts: 7178 From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA Registered: Aug 2004
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posted July 06, 2007 08:18 PM
26, he's a clever guy. And he's certainly right about the first one. Come to think of it, if our perceptions are changing, we may forget, and have to remember, the "truth" we have spoken in the past. Or, I guess, we could just say, "I don't know what I said then, but I see it differently now."
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fayte.m Knowflake Posts: 9809 From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat. fayte1954@hotmail.com Registered: Mar 2005
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posted July 06, 2007 09:46 PM
I don't get it. If one tells the truth/a fact, then how can it change? It is either truth or it is not truth no matter how one desires it to be. For example, I would not lie about my age. I have known folks who do and then forget what they told someone. Why would one want to lie? It is easy to remember truth based on facts. Why weave a tangled web of deception? TRUTH is truth...and it cannot be otherwise. truth (n) Synonyms: fact, certainty, reality, actuality, veracity, verityAntonym: untruth Synonyms: reality, fact, accuracy, genuineness, precision, exactness, legitimacy, veracity, truthfulness
Antonym: untruthfulness Synonyms: honesty, candour, integrity, dedication, loyalty, devotion, fidelity, uprightness, sincerity
Antonym: dishonesty ------------------ ~Judgement Must Be Balanced With Compassion~ ~Do Not Seek Wealth From The Suffering, Or The Dire Needs Of Others~ ~Assumption Is The Bane Of Understanding~ ~ if you keep doing what you did, you'll keep getting what you got.~ }><}}}(*> <*){{{><{ ~~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ IP: Logged |
SunChild Moderator Posts: 4032 From: Australia Registered: Jan 2004
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posted July 06, 2007 10:11 PM
quote: Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night True... you may **** on your dreams.
LMAO...reminds me of my dads humor...he's a sag...lol IP: Logged |
Mirandee Knowflake Posts: 4812 From: South of the Thumb - Taurus, Pisces, Cancer Registered: Sep 2004
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posted July 07, 2007 01:20 AM
That's very true, Fayte. Although I can't speak for HSC, I think he was speaking about truth in a different sense than telling the truth as opposed to lying. I think he was speaking about what we may hold to be the truth about certain things such as spirituality, philosophy or our world views for example. Theories, ideas, thoughts can change. Normally they change with the growth of the person and their knowledge. In that case, I would agree that truth in that sense could change. What we hold to be the truth about certain things can change on further evidence to the contrary. For instance long, long ago people believed it was true that the world was flat. That was proven to be inaccurate so their truth changed due to the evidence that proved them wrong. They acqired more knowledge regarding the world. IP: Logged |
26taurus Knowflake Posts: 13411 From: * Registered: Jun 2004
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posted July 07, 2007 05:23 AM
SunChild, my Dad's a Gemini. Opposite of Sag. He's a writer, a poet. Good sense of humor. quote: Or, I guess, we could just say, "I don't know what I said then, but I see it differently now."
Thanks, HSC. I often say that to myself. IP: Logged |
26taurus Knowflake Posts: 13411 From: * Registered: Jun 2004
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posted July 07, 2007 05:38 AM
Mirandee, IP: Logged |
fayte.m Knowflake Posts: 9809 From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat. fayte1954@hotmail.com Registered: Mar 2005
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posted July 07, 2007 11:08 AM
Mirandee quote: Theories, ideas, thoughts can change. Normally they change with the growth of the person and their knowledge.In that case, I would agree that truth in that sense could change.
I see what you are saying but those are beliefs not truths(true facts). Yes one can choose to call a belief, a philosophy, a theory, etcetera, a truth, but is is not necessarily a fact nor true/truth. It is opinion, hope, choice, a belief, theory, but not a truth/true/fact. Truth, like the word love, has become imbued with meanings not of either in the pure sense of definitions. truth (n)Synonyms: fact, certainty, reality, actuality, veracity, verity Antonym: untruth Synonyms: reality, fact, accuracy, genuineness, precision, exactness, legitimacy, veracity, truthfulness
Antonym: untruthfulness Synonyms: honesty, candour, integrity, dedication, loyalty, devotion, fidelity, uprightness, sincerity
Antonym: dishonesty ------------------ ~Judgement Must Be Balanced With Compassion~ ~Do Not Seek Wealth From The Suffering, Or The Dire Needs Of Others~ ~Assumption Is The Bane Of Understanding~ ~ if you keep doing what you did, you'll keep getting what you got.~ }><}}}(*> <*){{{><{ ~~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ IP: Logged |
Mirandee Knowflake Posts: 4812 From: South of the Thumb - Taurus, Pisces, Cancer Registered: Sep 2004
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posted July 07, 2007 11:44 AM
quote: I see what you are saying but those are beliefs not truths(true facts). Yes one can choose to call a belief, a philosophy, a theory, etcetera, a truth, but is is not necessarily a fact nor true/truth. It is opinion, hope, choice, a belief, theory, but not a truth/true/fact. Truth, like the word love, has become imbued with meanings not of either in the pure sense of definitions. truth (n)
I see what you are saying too, Fayte. We do call any beliefs we hold to be truth and some of those beliefs never change, like for instance, that there is one God. There are truths and there are our truths. There is only one Absolute Truth and that is God. We do tend to misuse or misinterpret words. Through time meanings of words have changed for that reason. We also do that with the word "judge" It does not across the board mean to condemn. In fact we make judgments on everything in our everyday lives. We judge situations, we judge what the weather will be on any given day, we judge what looks good and what doesn't. We judge everything and we couldn't survive without making those assessments. We can even judge the character of another person through their words and actions without condemning them. Judge means to make an assessment, to determine. Condemnation is a whole different thing and it is the latter that Jesus was speaking of but the word "judge" has taken on new connotations in the past 2000 or so years since Jesus' time. So I agree that you are right about our misuse of the words "love" and "truth." Good point. Although, I still think that just for the reasons you gave - because it is just a hope, a belief we hold, a theory or opinion that we may call "truth" at any given time in our lives - it can change on further knowledge of the facts or evidence that makes us think a different way about it. You are very right though in what you said about what we call "truths." There is my truth at any given time, the truth that others hold and then there is the real or Absolute Truth. Absolute Truth never changes. It can't change. But no human being holds any Absolute Truth. Only God does. IP: Logged |
Mirandee Knowflake Posts: 4812 From: South of the Thumb - Taurus, Pisces, Cancer Registered: Sep 2004
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posted July 07, 2007 11:51 AM
I love it when we spiral like this Fayte. We do this often in email and I run up the phone bill and get yelled at when we talk. LOL Star has the same effect regarding spiraling and I am so blessed to have you both in my life. IP: Logged |
26taurus Knowflake Posts: 13411 From: * Registered: Jun 2004
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posted December 16, 2007 08:14 PM
Déjà vuIP: Logged | |