posted September 09, 2007 06:04 PM         

Thats what all this conflict has taught me anyways!!!

I like your ideas juniperb on resolutions and looking for the good in folk much better, then just my opinions on such matters of ones heart and feelings.

Thats why I laugh sometimes or make funny, instead of jumping the gun all the time!!!

posted September 09, 2007 07:50 PM           

This represents all of you beautiful souls here:

From the ashes I will rise... Twice as strong... and much more wise. That is my phoenix, that is my life, my pain, my hope, and my destiny. It is me.

posted September 09, 2007 08:54 PM         

I want to thank each of you beautiful souls for being here, and I would like to tell each of you that I am sorry for the times when I spoke unkindness to any of you.

May each of you have peace and love and joy in your lives.

Hugs,
GG

posted September 09, 2007 11:51 PM         

I dont think you are giving me a fair hearing. This is the first and only time I have brought this stuff up since it all went down, and I had yet to receive an apology. I understand what you are saying about making it about me. But, my feeling was that I had something to add. I have my own reasons for doubting the sincerity, or the depth of the sincerity, of Piduau's contrition. I'm sorry I can't be all sunbeams and rainbows 24/7. I have my own wounds that need healing, and I felt that, if Piduau and Mirandee were in the spirit of apologizing, they could start, or at least finish, with apologizing to me.

You are in no position to judge whether or not I was "crying wolf". You only know me on the internet, for one thing. Also, you are not a doctor, and most doctors will tell you to take cries for help very seriously. Again, I just think you are being unfair.

I liked the stuff you posted from Jamie Samms, and the animal totem profiles. Very insightful stuff. I like reading about animal totems too. It was a little bit difficult to read it with all the "shouting" though. Just my experience. Maybe its my Cappy Ascendant.

'Zala,

Thank you. I appreciate it.
Not because I think you did it for me.
But, especially if you didnt do it for me.

Fayte adn juni,

Thank you.

Mirandee,

I'm not sure what to say to you. I'm a suspicious Scorpio. I'm slow to change my mind and, often, slower to forgive than I would like to be. You expressed yourself very beautifully and I want very much to believe you, and hug you. Sometimes I read your posts and I see some very lovely sentiments expressed, and I want very much to like you. And I try to understand how you could be so sweet and sensible, and yet, at times, treat me in ways I felt were cruel and unjust. I try to understand. It helps to reflect that I am no angel, and I have said things which I do not want to be remembered for or identified with. Hurtful, mean and stupid things. And if I can forgive myself, I should forgive you. So I'm working on both. And I guess I would rather believe you and be fooled than doubt you and be wrong. So, I'll take my chances. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you said. It meant a lot to me. Again, I am very sorry for hurting you too.

posted September 10, 2007 09:04 AM         

quote:

---

....do not assume...

---

Never ever ASSUME - it makes an ASS out of U and ME.

Assumptions are always based on personal thoughts, give room for the other's concern too - be rational.

We all have our own reasons to believe what we believe in and act how we act upon situations, but also keep in mind that the other person too have the same freedom and choice. And "our" freedom ends where it encroaches upon another's personal space.

posted September 10, 2007 11:42 AM         

It seems that some people try to over-analyze everything and try so hard to be "right".

I think some of us forget the golden rule that we learned in kindergarten.

Take care everyone, and usually when someone has their finger pointed out at you, they have 3 fingers pointed right back at themselves.

posted September 10, 2007 12:03 PM           

quote:

---

Never ever ASSUME - it makes an ASS out of U and ME.

---

LOL!! I like that, Sattvic

It's very true too.

We may as well all face it and admit it. We all have the habit of assuming. We all do it. We perceive what is being said or done in a certain way and we run with it. It's okay to admit it in ourselves. Better to admit it in ourselves then just see it in others. That way before we judge others and point out the splinter in their eye we would have at least removed the plank from our own eye.

The problem is not outside of us. The problem is always inside of us. Stop blaming others or other things for our problems. Because it is not what others say and do that start arguments and keep them going, it's how we react to it. We can't control what others say and do. We can control how we react to it though. We are in control of our own feelings. When you allow someone to provoke your anger, or hurt you and make you feel bad, or whatever feeling may surface, you are giving away your control to the other person. You are allowing that person to control you. Once someone can control your feelings they control you because our feelings are very large part of what we are.

It's how we react to the the words and things that happen in our lives that make us feel bad, make us angry, hurt us or prevent us from moving forward in life and resolving things. Whatever the experience may be, use it to learn the lesson. As long as you blame others or fate or life or whatever, you can't learn the lesson you need to learn. You can't forgive, let go and move on in your life. You can't grow as a person. Stop living in the past. It doesn't exist any longer. Live in the minute, the second this day. Live in the present. It's the only place we can live life. The future is the unknown and the uncertain. We can make plans, yes. We can prepare for the future, hope on the future, but keep in mind how we plan things may not be the way they turn out. The universe, God, may have different plans for our journey. Those plans may not happen and often they don't do to unforseen circumstances in our lives.

Sattvic, you said one of the wisest things here on one of the threads at LL, maybe it was this one, forgive my memory. Anyway, you said we need to learn to communicate better. So very true!! Especially on internet forums like LL. So much can be misinterpreted in the written word. Which is probably why we all hate it when people twist our words around, tell us what we think and what we said when in fact, that is very far from what we actually were trying to convey and what we actually meant. That starts a lot of the arguments around LL in fact.

So those were very wise words, Sattvic.

When it comes to assumptions related to what Sattvic stated about communicating, the only way we stop ourselves from doing that is to question. Simply say, " This is what I think you are saying, is that what you mean to say?"

When it comes to what people do that might offend us at any given time what we should do is what Juni stated, look for the good in the person, remember the good qualities we have seen in this person and instead of retaliating just realized with compassion that the person at this time has lost sight of their true self.

How a person is at any given time may not represent their true selves. We should not demonize or label others on these boards based on what they may say or do at one moment in their lives. People run much deeper than that. Reach out our hands to the other person and try to bridge the gaps between us. Get to know the other person who in your mind you may see as an adversary. You may discover that once you open the box you have confined the person in there is a beautiful soul inside. I know that is what I have discovered about those who I may have started out on the wrong foot with.

I know all these things I just said. I know them in my heart. Alas, knowing them to be true I don't always remember them so I need all of you guys here at LL and others in my offline life to help me spiritually by posting reminders, as friends supporting me and helping me carry my crosses and reminding me of the right and spiritual things I may know and have forgotten. We need to help each other to keep all of us from backsliding. We all do it. Admit it. We all backslide spiritually. We all mess us. We are all in the same human condition.

"It's not the things that want to do that I do. It's the very things that I DO NOT want to do that I do. Wretched man that I am!"

In those words Paul of Tarsus adequately summed up the human condition. He adequately described that inner struggle that all humankind battle with everyday of our lives.

What we know, the condition of our souls, our hopes and dream, our spiritual aspirations, all we are as persons, are not always reflected outwardly at any given time in our actions and words.

Knowing how weak and imperfect we are, admitting that to ourselves and yet still accepting and liking ourselves in all our own imperfections should help us to be able to do the same thing for others. Always it goes to back to us. We are the problem. Look inwardly first and know your own faults before pointing them out in others.

This is as much a reminder to myself as to anyone reading my words. I wish I did always do the things I know in my heart are true and right, but truth is I don't.

I feel a unique bond to all others here because you are all as weak and imperfect as I am. Yet like me I know that you carry a rare pearl that I have yet to see.

Forgive and let go of the moments of weakness you see in others when they are not being their true selves. Cherish the moments of beauty and spirituality you see in their words and in them when they are being their true selves. Don't judge and pigeon hole others and throw their moments of weakness of the past in their faces. Give yourself and them room to change and grow by doing that.

It's not assumptions that are so much the bane of mankind ( assumption is part of human nature ) as it is judging others because they do not live up to our expectations of them, because they are weak and imperfect, etc. Grudges and lack of forgiveness are the bane of mankind.

posted September 10, 2007 12:12 PM           

I agree with many of the things Dafreman said in his post.

However, and I may be perceiving his words wrong, I do not agree due to what I stated above in my post, that there are any evil people here at LL intentionally spreading darkness and evil.

There are only weak human beings who are, at one moment in their lives from time to time, forgetting their true selves due to the weakness and imperfection in all human beings.

But he was right on target when he stated the only way to counteract it and overcome things that are divisive and negative is love and the by products of love, compassion, understanding and utmost forgiveness.

posted September 10, 2007 12:39 PM         

quote:

---

That way before we judge others and point out the splinter in their eye we would have at least removed the plank from our own eye.

---

posted September 10, 2007 12:45 PM           

Thank you for your words to me. Your words to me mean more than you can ever know.

Thank you for giving me a chance. I will honor that by giving you the chance you deserve as well.

We can do this, HSC. We can reach out to each other with forgiveness and understanding and bridge that gap of misunderstanding between us.

Today is the first day of a new life for all of us. A new start. We can begin anew today.

If I should ever backslide just tell me simply as a reminder, " You are doing it again, Mirandee ( or if you prefer, Connie) and I will understand what you mean.

I will do the same thing for you. We will be of great help to one another with those reminders.

In fact I want everyone here to remind me when I am backsliding and not being my true self due to allowing my emotions without reason to control me. It's a great service to me if you do that.

You have on this thread exhibited those beautiful qualities I always knew you possessed, Steve

Now, please give Pid and Star the same chance you are giving me. I know these two women to possess beautiful souls. In giving them the chance as you have done me you are releasing us from the past and you are also at the same time releasing yourself from the past.

I learned this lesson in life after my dad died. I learned this lesson from life beyond. He came back to me because he had a chance before he died to see my brother and sister and tell them he was sorry and that he always loved them. He did not see me before he died.

I first had a dream where the family was all together for one of those family celebrations. I looked out and saw my dad coming up the walk and to my front door. He knocked. I went to the door and said to him, " You can't come in here, dad. You are dead." After that for a month I would hear in bed at night ( not every night but often ) my name being said, "Connie." I recognized the voice and the unique way my dad pronounced my name. Frankly it scared the bejeebies out of me. My husband also heard it one night.

Finally I realized when my mom told me that my dad had spoken to my brother and sister before he died and told them what I stated -that my dad was trying to contact me and tell me the same thing. But I kept shutting him out from fear.

So the next time I heard my dad say my name, I mentally talked to him. I told him " I know that you loved me dad and you know that I always loved you. I know you are sorry for hurting me and I forgive you." My dad had died but my hurts and my not forgiving him was keeping him from being able to move on in his journey. I was not only holding my dad from moving on with his journey, I was holding myself to the past and keeping myself from being able to move on.

I never heard my dad calling my name after I had that inward discussion with him that night. It actually made me happy that he had been able to move on with his new journey. My dad and I resolved the past after he died. The lesson to me was to do that with others while we are still on this journey because even those who have died that we have not forgiven cannot move on with their journey as long as we hold them to the past. Neither can we.

Grudges tie us up too when we tie up others with them and prevent us all from being free to grow and change and be happy.

For that reason the chance you offer me in the love and compassion of your heart means so very much to me, Steve. You have not only freed me to grow and change but yourself as well.

It will do the same for Pidaua and Star and others that have in the past hurt you and did things to you when they were not being their true selves. Each time you do this you will become freer and freer and happier and happier. Because you are freeing your soul from the the ropes that bind it as you cut others free those same ropes.

posted September 10, 2007 02:27 PM           

I have said them twice because they are true and apply to all of us. We all do that. We may as well admit it.

It was not directed at you or anyone in particular. It was directed at all of us, including myself.

I am not lecturing or preaching to others with my words. I am reminding myself along with reminding others.

Any change has to start inwardly in ourselves. We cannot change the world and bring love into it without first changing ourselves. We cannot change ourselves until we start admitting our own faults, come to know through self introspectoin what they are, and stop denying them but instead face them and openly admit, "yeah, I do that too." We cannot change as long as we live in denial and keep blaming others for the same things we do.

Even if I were threatened to be tied to a stake and burned I would keep repeating what I have learned and know in my soul to be true.

The truth is that nothing in our lives, nothing that happens to us, nothing that we feel is the fault of others. Circumstances, events, and others are not the problem. The world is not the problem. God is not the problem. The problem lies within each and every human being on this planet. Myself included. We have to change that instead of trying to do the impossible - change others and the world first. Because if we don't inwardly change ourselves first, we are only trying to conform others and the world to live up to our self expectations of what people should be and the world should be so that WE can be happier and in fact, in control. That is a futile endeavor. It means that we feel my life would be better and happier if it weren't for those people or those circumstances. That is blame.

Before we are capable of changing anything we have to first change ourselves. Then we can in much gentler ways help others to change. Then our efforts at changing the world and making it a better place will be more productive.

We can never change others. That has to come from within each individual. They first have to start admitting and stop denying, face their own faults, and sincerely want to change. But we can change ourselves. That is all we can do.

That is what is meant by first looking at the plank in your own eye ( the eyes being a reflection of the soul ) before pointing out the splinter in your brothers and sisters eye ( or soul ).

It's always much easier to see the shortcomings and faults of others than it is to see our own. Ask God, whatever you conceive God to be, to help you know your faults. Sometimes he will point out those faults to us in our experiences with others and sometimes through others telling us things. So yes, in conflicts with others and in the bad experiences of our lives we can learn very valuable lessons about ourselves. Not about others. But OURSELVES. Whatever others learn from the conflict or experience or not we have no control over. It comes from within them.

You are here, not only assuming, Fayte but you are also misperceiving my intentions and misjudging and distorting them.

This was not said personally to you. You are taking it personal as that is how you perceive it to be in your mind. You are in short, jumping to unfounded conclusions. The very thing you just spoke of and listed to others that THEY shouldn't do.

So admit it, Fayte. It isn't only us that do those things. We aren't the problem. What I said is not the problem. The problem lies within you and how you perceive things and what is said.

We all have that problem and I am no exception. I admit that. When we change and start admitting, our perceptions of others and experiences change too.

I did not even think of or have in mind the connection you made with the word "eye" and your recent stroke, Fayte. The word "eye" in the context that Jesus was speaking of when he spoke those words attributed to him in Scripture means "soul." He was referring to the soul. And so was I. Sometimes it does amaze me how very fast people on the boards of LL, including myself, can jump from A-Z and come to the conclusions we do from something as simple as a word or phrase and then judge the intentions of the other person. As if any of us can see into each others souls and know those intentions.

I truthfully swear that the conclusion you drew here from my words were not even in my mind nor were they my true intentions. I am sorry that you took it that way and was offended by that phrase. But you are mistaken in your perceptions and your conclusions, Fayte.

You could have asked me if you were understanding my words correctly and I would have explained it as I did here.

I have health issues and there is much going on in my life too, Fayte. We all do. We all have problems and things going on in our lives. That is why we should be careful when we attack others. We don't always know what is going on their lives. That is why words can hurt. Hurt also happens not due to what others say but how we perceive those words. Because they might not have meant it the way we took it. Which makes the hurt we feel unintentional on their part.

I am sorry that I unintentionally hurt you, Fayte. Because I did not mean it the way that you took it. I would never make a dig at something like to any other human being regarding their health issues.

It does to a large degree tell me what kind of person you think me to be in your mind, Fayte. And you are accusing me of this at a time when I have someone very close and dear to me in my life, almost an adopted daughter, dying due to lack of medical insurance, in pain and not being given anything to ease that pain while dying from the ravages of MS on her body. Whose ex-husband and caregiver is being threatened with deportation because he is not a legalized citzen and was arrested for buying marijuana for her to help ease her pain. My heart is broken because the last time Lisa was there and spent the day with her her ex told Lisa that after she left Debbie cried and said " I want to be with Connie and Lisa. I want to go there."

I can't tell you the pain I am feeling because I have no room here until Lisa is moved or I would bring her here and take care of her if I could. It pains me that I can't at this time.

Yet at this time in my life you are accusing me of lack of compassion and out of malice poking fun of the effects on your eye due to a recent stroke.

I forgive you for that, Fayte.

posted September 10, 2007 03:06 PM         

Saying "I love you"
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words
Is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me yeah
'Cause I'd already know

What would you do, if i turned those words into
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away?
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying "I love you"

posted September 10, 2007 03:21 PM         

The Secret To Surfing the Waves, Ani Tenzin Palmo
What we need is to be interested and to watch, but not interfere or be caught up in what we are thinking. Don't think of the past, don't anticipate the future, don't get fascinated by the present. See it as it is. Just be there with it. A thought is just a thought. An emotion is just an emotion. It is like a bubble. It will burst and another one will come up.
When we first begin to put this into practice the mind begins to split. We develop what is called the observer, the witness, the knower. This is an aspect of the mind. It is still just mind, conceptual mind, but it is a mind which is standing back and looking at what is going on, as if at a distance. In itself, this is not ultimate reality, because it is still a dualistic mind. But it is a vast improvement on the way we normally think, because it gives us the space to see a thought as a thought and an emotion as an emotion. Then we can decide whether this is a useful thought or emotion or not. We know it for what is, rather than being absorbed in it. We no longer identify with it.
If we develop this inner awareness, which is like an inner space, we can ride the waves of life. People imagine that to be a meditator you have to always live in very tranquil situations and that you are likely to be inundated if a turbulent situation arises. This is true for beginners, just as it is for someone who is learning how to surf. At the beginning, they have to stick to the small waves otherwise they will be bowled over. But an expert surfer looks for the big waves. The greater the waves, the more fun, once you have your balance. The secret is to be balanced, to be poised. To be a good surfer you need to be neither too tense nor too relaxed, just balanced. This is what we need in our practice, too.
When we develop this inner space, everything takes on a dream-like quality. Not dream-like in the sense of being sleepy, but in that it is no longer so solid, so real, so urgent. It has a quality almost like an illusion. You don't take it quite so seriously, because you are not so totally involved in it. Now when we have that sense of stepping back and seeing life with a degree of clarity, we are able to respond to situations which arise with freshness and spontaneity, instead of our usual automatic response, which is like pressing a button on a machine. We begin to respond naturally and in an appropriate manner.
--Ani Tenzin Palmo, From "Reflections on a Mountain Lake"

Painting the Inner Sistine Chapel, Jon Kabat-Zinn
Just as we need scaffolding to build a building, just as scaffolding was needed for Michelangelo and his apprentices to paint the frescos on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, so we need a certain kind of framework to bring us to the essence of this inner work, right at the edge of this in-breath, this out-breath, this body, this moment.
But just as when the building is built, the ceiling completed, the scaffolding is no longer needed and comes down, never having been part of the essence of the endeavor, simply a necessary and useful means for furthering it, so with meditation, the very scaffolding of instructions and framework is dismantled, dismantles itself really, and only the impalpable, wordless essence remains, that essence being wakefulness itself, beyond and underneath, "before" thinking even arises.
What makes it interesting is that meditative scaffolding is needed in every moment, and by the same token, it needs to be dismantled in every moment, not later, at the end of some work, such as the Sistine Chapel, but moment by moment. This is accomplished by knowing that it is merely scaffolding, however necessary and important, and not being attached to it. Letting it be erected and dismantled moment by moment.
[??]
It is extremely important for us to know this and remember this from the very beginning of our encounter with meditation so as to not lose ourselves in, or find ourselves clinging to, the merely conceptual, to an ideal, or to a particular teacher or teaching or method or instruction, however enticing and satisfying any of that may be. The risk of unawareness in this domain is that we might build up a convincing story about meditation and how important it is for us and fall into that rather than realize the essence of who and what we actually are in the only moment we ever have to realize it, which is never some other moment.
--Jon Kabat-Zinn, from "Coming To Our Senses"

posted September 10, 2007 03:41 PM         

A Higher Perspective on Time!!!!

"Be mindful of how you approach time. Watching the clock is not the same as watching the sun rise."

-- Sophia Bedford-Pierce

What would your soul consider a waste of time?

To a soul, the only real time is right NOW. Not the future or the past. It lives in connecting deeply with the rich experience of each moment. Through awareness we can be in touch with our authentic self and how it perceives all of the energies and guidance around and within us.

"Chronos is clocks, deadlines, watches, calendars, agendas, planners, schedules, beepers. Chronos is time at her worst. Chronos keeps track. ...Chronos is the world's time. Kairos is transcendence, infinity, reverence, joy, passion, love, the Sacred. Kairos is intimacy with the Real. Kairos is time at her best. ...Kairos is Spirit's time. We exist in chronos. We long for kairos. That's our duality. Chronos requires speed so that it won't be wasted. Kairos requires space so that it might be savored. We do in chronos. In kairos we're allowed to be ... It takes only a moment to cross over from chronos into kairos, but it does take a moment. All that kairos asks is our willingness to stop running long enough to hear the music of the spheres."

-- Sarah Ban Breathnach

"He who postpones the hour of living rightly is like the rustic who waits for the river to run out before he crosses."

-- Horace

posted September 10, 2007 05:14 PM         

I would LOVE TOO SHARE THIS SONG MESSAGE WITH EVERYONE HERE!!!!

10000 Maniacs!!!!

Peace Train - in my tribe

Now I've been happy lately, thinking about the good things to come
And I believe it could be, something good has begun

Oh I've been smiling lately, dreaming about the world as one
And I believe it could be, some day it's going to come

Cos out on the edge of darkness, there rides a peace train
Oh peace train take this country, come take me home again

Now I've been smiling lately, thinking about the good things to come
And I believe it could be, something good has begun

Oh peace train sounding louder
Glide on the peace train oh ah ee ah oh ah
Come on now peace train
Yes, peace train holy roller
Everyone jump on the peace train oh ah ee ah oh ah
Come on now peace train

Get your bags together, go bring your good friends too
Cos it's getting nearer, it soon will be with you

Now come and join the living, it's not so far from you
And it's getting nearer, soon it will all be true

Oh peace train sounding louder
Glide on the peace train oh ah ee ah oh ah
Come on now peace train, peace train

Now I've been crying lately, thinking about the world as it is
Why must we go on hating, why can't we live in bliss

Cos out on the edge of darkness, there rides a peace train
Oh peace train take this country, come take me home again

Oh peace train sounding louder
Glide on the peace train oh ah ee ah oh ah
Come on now the peace train
Yes peace train holy roller
Everyone jump on the peace train oh ah ee ah oh ah
Come on, come on, come on
Yes come on peace train
Yes it's the peace train
Oh ah ee ah oh ah
Come on now peace train
Oh peace train

Video: HEART SONG!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EI6DsCrvykc

posted September 10, 2007 05:55 PM         

Come gather round people wherever you roam
And admit that the waters around you have grown
And accept it that soon you'll be drenched to the bone
If your time to you is worth saving
Then you'd better start swimming or you'll sink like a stone
For the times, they are a changing

Come writers and critics who prophesize with your pens
And keep your eyes open, the chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon, the wheel's still in spin
And there's no telling who that it's naming
Oh the loser will be later to win
For the times, they are a changing

Come senators, congressmen, please head the call
Don't stand in the doorway, don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt will be her that has stalled
The battle outside ragging will soon shake your windows
And rattle your hall
For the times, they are a changing

Come mothers and fathers all over this land
And don't criticize what you can't understand
Your sons and your daughter are beyond your command
Your old role is rapidly aging
Please get out of the new one if you can't lend a hand
For the times they are a changing

The line, it is drawn, the curse, it is cast
The slow one will later be fast
And the present now will soon be the past
The order is rapidly fading
The first one now will later be last
For the times, they are a changing

posted September 10, 2007 06:38 PM         

quote:

---

Sorry you are uncomfortable with those words, Fayte.

I have said them twice because they are true and apply to all of us. We all do that. We may as well admit it.

It was not directed at you or anyone in particular. It was directed at all of us, including myself.

---

quote:

---

You could have asked me if you were understanding my words correctly and I would have explained it as I did here.

---

quote:

---

You are here, not only assuming, Fayte but you are also misperceiving my intentions and misjudging and distorting them.

This was not said personally to you. You are taking it personal as that is how you perceive it to be in your mind. You are in short, jumping to unfounded conclusions. The very thing you just spoke of and listed to others that THEY shouldn't do.

So admit it, Fayte. It isn't only us that do those things. We aren't the problem. What I said is not the problem. The problem lies within you and how you perceive things and what is said.
I did not even think of or have in mind the connection you made with the word "eye" and your recent stroke,

I truthfully swear that the conclusion you drew here from my words were not even in my mind nor were they my true intentions. I am sorry that you took it that way and was offended by that phrase. But you are mistaken in your perceptions and your conclusions, Fayte.

---

quote:

---

I have health issues and there is much going on in my life too, Fayte. We all do. We all have problems and things going on in our lives. That is why we should be careful when we attack others.

---

quote:

---

Hurt also happens not due to what others say but how we perceive those words. Because they might not have meant it the way we took it.

---

quote:

---

We can never change others. That has to come from within each individual. They first have to start admitting and stop denying, face their own faults, and sincerely want to change.

---

quote:

---

The truth is that nothing in our lives, nothing that happens to us, nothing that we feel is the fault of others. Circumstances, events, and others are not the problem.

---

quote:

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I am sorry that I unintentionally hurt you, Fayte. Because I did not mean it the way that you took it. I would never make a dig at something like to any other human being regarding their health issues. It does to a large degree tell me what kind of person you think me to be in your mind, Fayte

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Yet at this time in my life you are accusing me of lack of compassion and out of malice poking fun of the effects on your eye due to a recent stroke.

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posted September 10, 2007 06:38 PM         

***Additionally, you may call it a trap....be angry at me for setting one.....I asked for clarification of the eye quote because I wanted an explanation of what you really meant, since yes, based on your prior actions I was unsure...but it was also partially as a test.
A test to see if you would judge me and jump to conclusions.
And you did.
Not at first. I was very happy to read your first explanation but to my dismay you did not stop there but became angry and begain judging me again. Had you left it at this instead of going on, I would have replied, Thank you, I understand.{{{HUGS}}}

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Sorry you are uncomfortable with those words, Fayte.

I have said them twice because they are true and apply to all of us. We all do that. We may as well admit it.

It was not directed at you or anyone in particular. It was directed at all of us, including myself.

I am not lecturing or preaching to others with my words. I am reminding myself along with reminding others.

Any change has to start inwardly in ourselves. We cannot change the world and bring love into it without first changing ourselves. We cannot change ourselves until we start admitting our own faults, come to know through self introspectoin what they are, and stop denying them but instead face them and openly admit, "yeah, I do that too." We cannot change as long as we live in denial and keep blaming others for the same things we do.

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