posted September 20, 2007 11:29 PM         

A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.

"You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one," the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. "The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars, we have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing...and as he paused to take another drink of beer.

The Senior took advantage of the break in the student's litany and said, "You're right, son. We didn't have those things when we were young. .......so we invented them."

"Now, you arrogant little **** , what are you doing for the next generation?"
The applause was resounding...

I love senior citizens

posted September 20, 2007 11:56 PM         

The Little Girl Next Door

Here's a truly heart-warming story about the bond formed between a little
5-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe
that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.
A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a
construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity
going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them "gems-in-the-rough," more or less,
adopted her as a kind of project mascot.
They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks,
and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented with a pay envelope
containing ten dollars.
The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take
her ten dollars "pay" to the bank to start a savings account. When the girl
and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the
little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.
The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real work crew
building the new house next door to us."

"Oh my goodness gracious," said the teller,
"and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will, if those as$holes at Home Depot ever
deliver the fu*k!n' sheet rock..."

posted September 21, 2007 11:07 AM         

Another senior moment:

The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.

Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she would write notes when she needed to communicate.

After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.

A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.

Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillow around her waist to hold her up.

A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said, "Hi, Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?"

Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew...