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Author
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Topic: New company: Darfur Inc.
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BlueRoamer
Knowflake Posts: 3944
From: Calm Blue Ocean, Calm Blue Ocean
Registered: Jun 2003
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posted October 31, 2007 09:25 PM
 
Feeling depressed?Vague unidentifiable malaise? Suffering from middle class ennui or existential crisis? Does your life feel meaningless, empty? Well WE at Darfur Inc. have the cure for YOU. Our technology is cutting-edge, performance based, and guaranteed to satisfy. How our technology works: We take your overfed bourgeois rear and drop you out of a plane over Darfur province with a parachute, a gallon of water, and a Klondike bar. Just try feeling bored and restless while you struggle to survive among some of the harshest conditions available on earth. You'll be AMAZED at how our technology cures those middle class blues! Just listen to one of our satisfied customers: "I used to be overweight, my life felt empty. I did the same thing every day, work, come home, eat, and watch tv. I dreamed of a life I could never have, a husband I would never meet, and a waistline that would never appear. Just 2 weeks after signing up with Darfur inc. I lost 30 pounds, got a great tan, have a great overseer (shout out to Bakari Babu, your whip technique is faboo!), and never worry about being bored, I'm too busy trying to eat! Lol!! Life here is so exciting, you won't believe that this personal transformation is possible, but it is! Thanks Darfur inc.!!!" -Jane Smith, Sheboygen, WI At Darfur Inc. we guarantee satisfaction or your money back*. Sign up today and you can be a part of our amazing program in no time! *money back paid in malaria medicine**
**money back only available upon survival IP: Logged |
Unmoved
Knowflake Posts: 623
From: South Africa
Registered: Jun 2007
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posted October 31, 2007 09:47 PM
BR- U crack me up!But, I didn't miss the underlying message. I wish I could sign up, but I am already a few miles away, so I will just hitch a ride there. Or... wait... I can just look outside the window to see it all. nice satire. IP: Logged |
CoralFrequency
Knowflake Posts: 1056
From:
Registered: Feb 2007
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posted November 01, 2007 12:17 AM
 I think this should be in the Astrology section.. IP: Logged |
Eleanore
Moderator Posts: 2512
From: Japan
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted November 01, 2007 12:19 AM
Thanks for that reminder, BlueRoamer.  IP: Logged |
Node
Knowflake Posts: 1162
From: Crowded House
Registered: Nov 2005
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posted November 01, 2007 10:49 AM
BlueRoamer: you are one twisted puppy. Have I mentioned before that I adore twistiness? Darfur, Hummm. *ruf-r-ad*? And with the current state-of the Astro Forum, I too think this would be applicable.  But then again it would sail over most heads.  *P.S. My icescream bar went like all melty 
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Motherkonfessor
Knowflake Posts: 1140
From:
Registered: Oct 2003
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posted November 01, 2007 01:57 PM
Sheboygan is misspelled...(sorry, I am a Virgo and I grew up in Wisconsin.) I am not usually the spelling dictator. Yeah, good satire.
You can say it nicely to people -"hey, look at how lucky you are and appreciate it," or you can smack them up the head and say "stop being a whiny b!tch- you're life isn't THAT DAMN BAD." Guess which camp I fall into?  MK IP: Logged |
Happy Dragon
Knowflake Posts: 2886
From:
Registered: Apr 2005
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posted November 01, 2007 03:11 PM
** *money back only available upon survival **
.. what .. no klachnikov as an optional extra ??
.. i like yer style BR  ..IP: Logged |
Yin
Knowflake Posts: 1409
From:
Registered: May 2004
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posted November 02, 2007 08:54 AM
quote:
"I used to be overweight, my life felt empty. I did the same thing every day, work, come home, eat, and watch tv. I dreamed of a life I could never have, a husband I would never meet, and a waistline that would never appear. Just 2 weeks after signing up with Darfur inc. I lost 30 pounds, got a great tan, have a great overseer (shout out to Bakari Babu, your whip technique is faboo!), and never worry about being bored, I'm too busy trying to eat! Lol!! Life here is so exciting, you won't believe that this personal transformation is possible, but it is! Thanks Darfur inc.!!!" -Jane Smith, Sheboygen, WI
Bakari Babu is looking for a cure for his lack of food and shelter and hoping to find a job where he can make enough money to survive and possibly gain 30 pounds, watch tv all day and get away from all of the excitement of poverty and struggle.
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Lindaland
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