posted December 17, 2007 10:09 PM         

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core™ or Dri-Weave™ absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."

Are you f***ing kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness—actual smiling, laughing happiness—is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending Bull**** . And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,

Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX

posted December 17, 2007 11:36 PM         

Absolutely!

Thank you, thank you, thank you! still...Mirandee

posted December 18, 2007 01:23 AM         

it has become a collective hatred, turning us against our bodies and ourselves, inciting the painful and fearfulness of our menses. we no longer even know our own bodies, and how they plead with us to reconnect.

a woman's menses was once a most sacred and and revered time. before the self-hate was ingrained, it was a time of renewal and blessing. at this time, we pulse with the life-force of the earth.

learning to love your female processes and body is no easy task. re-programming centuries of culturally approved self-hatred takes an enormous effort. but it can be done.

a few of my favorite books in establishing this path of re-learning to love and respect our bodies, and the amazing experience it is to be female, are the following ~

Honoring Menstruation: A Time of Self Renewal
Lara Owen

Sister Moon Lodge: The Power & Mystery of Menstruation
Kisma K. Stepanich

Blood, Bread and Roses: How Menstruation Created the World
Judy Grahn

there are countless stories of learning to see our physical processes as life-affirming and grand. to view and accept our bodies as beautiful and honorable, in all their functions. and how this results in the monthly pain being washed away amidst self awareness and love.

posted December 18, 2007 01:40 AM         

Tampax have announced today they are swapping the string on all Tampax for tinsel, but just for the Christmas period!

hmmm?
and here we have the museum of menstration, where you'll find some um...odd, old ads and funny ideas 30's 40's 50's,etc. Even saw Sheryl Teigs did ads for tampax, and learned that John Lennon once wore a tampon on his head in a public establishment, lol!

posted December 18, 2007 01:51 AM         

i love the soft organic fabric of these. the other options are also great. it's disheartening that we grow up not even being aware of superiority of such alternatives.

posted December 18, 2007 02:14 AM         

"Reusable pads. That's gross!" That's a comment we've heard and one we might have made ourselves before we really thought about it. But just envision your lifetime supply of used pads and tampons in landfills or washed up on a beach. Now that's gross! The menstrual cycle is a healthy and natural process. However, in our culture we have been led to believe it is a messy inconvenience to be kept secret, or worse, a repugnant disease-like condition. We encourage you to examine your beliefs about menstruation carefully. Any embarrassment or shame you may feel could be the result of culturally inspired negative conditioning. How we perceive and interpret the feelings that accompany our cycles can have a dramatic effect on our health. Imagine the self-fulfilling destiny of the girl who hears "now you've got the curse, get ready for cramps, and a bloody mess."

In her class "The Positive Power of PMS", Nancy Conger states: "Studies show that a negative attitude about one's body and menstrual cycle is a major factor in PMS. There are times in your cycle when emotional and physical sensitivities are on high - but it is sensitivity to all emotions and sensations, both positive and negative. If your mindset is that your cycle is a curse, you may only perceive it negatively when changes occur. Some women have found relief from PMS in just changing how they value and honor their femininity."

Acknowledging the powerful shifts that occur in our bodies and spirits is tough in a society that expects us to put on our white swimsuits and hide away what is happening inside of us. The days in our cycle when blood flows is an integral part of being a woman, and viewing that openly and without shame gives us the chance to be strong, unstoppable beings. In other times, the girl at menarche received special gifts and meals. The menstruating woman was considered a powerful and honored being, as was the woman who had moved past her menstruating years. Now those are attitudes we like!

By talking about our cycles more openly, with positive images and language, we believe women can re-define menstruation as a positive and profound force in our lives.

Please share this information with other women and especially with any young girls you know who are just beginning their cycles - let's nip those negative attitudes in the bud and let the positive ones flower forth.

posted December 18, 2007 12:20 PM         

I really, honestly wouldn't mind have periods, if it weren't for all the terrible symptoms. There are some girls/women who have absolutely NO symptoms at all, they are so lucky! They have never had cramps, backpain, bloating, leg pain, fatigue, constant hunger pains, hot flashes/cold flashes, migraines, weight gain, soreness, tenderness, etc.

I am still suffering from the effects of my terrible period from last week. It's not fair! (Yes, it ended 1 week ago, and I still am reeling from it!)

The other thing, is that this issue that mother nature has bestowed upon us is not our fault; so why should we have to spend so much $$ on supplies? Tampons and Pads should be much cheaper. What about homeless people? What do they use? What about females on Survivor? I've always wondered what they use. Hey, if you're stranded on a desert island without food, then why should they supply tampons and pads? Sorry, I've always wondered. What are they supposed to use, leaves?