posted January 18, 2008 12:29 AM         

Jones Beach Theater is the best place in the world to see a concert.

Billy Joel said it best, “Either you date a rich girl from the North Shore, or a cool girl from the South Shore."

What’s the big deal about the Hamptons?

You don’t go to Manhattan, you go to “the City"

You never, ever want to “change at Jamaica..."

You never realize you have an accent until you leave.

You can name at least three bands that came from Long Island.

At some point in your life you or someone you know has owned an animal that came from North Shore Animal League.

You walk around the mall aimlessly.

When you walk in the city and you see two men holding hands...it becomes normal to you.

No word ends in an ER, just an AH.

When you’re away from Long Island, you love it and when you’re there, you don’t.

You know that the beach is the most magical place in the world at night.

You know the exact point at which Queens turns into Nassau simply on intuition.

You’re still waiting for a bridge to Connecticut.

You’ve tried to use your father’s monthly ticket to ride the LIRR. It worked.

No matter what you do, you end up at the diner.

Your distant future might involve the state of Florida.

You’ve tried to find the Amityville Horror house.

Each one of your diverse friends mercilessly makes fun of his own background.

You love that salty smell of the ocean.

No, you don’t want mustard on that burger!

One of the most exciting days of your summer is when the tickets to the Jones Beach Theatre shows go on sale.

You know White Castle is terrible for you and the food sucks. But, you periodically “Get the Crave".

You can order a pizza pie and a soda and people will understand.

You don’t associate Fire Island with gay men.

You know that parts of The Godfather were filmed on LI.

You have, or someone you know has, fallen asleep on the LIRR and ended up in one of these three places: Babylon, Port Washington or Hicksville.

You’ve missed that “Drunk Train”, the 2:42 out of Penn and had the dreaded wait until 5:30.

You think Islip MacArthur airport is cute and you enjoy watching it grow up.

Your parents took you to Nathans or Carvel.

You can correctly pronounce places like Happaugue, Commack, Islip, Islandia, Nissequogue, Wantagh, and Massapequa.

You know the location of 6 malls, a dozen McDonalds, and 36 7-11’s.

You grew up thinking Chinese food was a basic food group.

You’re used to driving down the street in December and seeing more light-up menorahs than you can shake a latka at. In fact, even your non-Jewish friends know what Matzoh is. And you’ve never driven more than 10 miles without seeing a temple.

Oh, your parents are from Brooklyn? So are mine!

Yes, admit it, you’ve cruised the DPA.

You can remember making up rules for 'Shotgun'ť calls in high school.

You were upset when all the Roy Rogers turned into Wendy's.