posted March 30, 2008 11:26 AM         

Perhaps I would visualize pouring out my animosities into that piece of paper -- as sending a stream of those negative thoughts about her onto and into the paper. That way you purge those when you're burning the paper also.

We all have people like this in our lives -- some are real bullies. They get off on producing reaction. If there is no reaction, they eventually go away as they don't get their jollies any more off your energy. Is it possible for you to just walk away when she approaches?? Or completely ignore whatever she says??

posted March 30, 2008 04:33 PM         

If there's any way you can get rid them out of your life, do it.

If you can't get rid of them, minimize your interaction with them as much as possible.

posted March 30, 2008 04:43 PM         

I have a bit of a problem with this.

True enough in theory, I suppose, but flawed in real life.

I stayed in a really bad relationship with a man for too long who was my biggest button pusher, in all of my 46 years, nobody has ****** me off more than this person. I stayed thinking I had some learning to do from him and karma to resolve, I wanted to overcome MY reactions to HIM.

It never happened, just got worse, and by then I realized I was making worse karma by interacting with him and, most probably, the greatest lesson from this interaction was to walk away.

posted March 30, 2008 05:35 PM         

I find it helps to look at it the other way around -: What is it about what they are saying is annoying me? What is it really about? What am I not dealing with and/or need to think about? I suppose this is dealing with the part of it I am in control of ~ if I put down how I felt on paper it might help, but next day the problem would still be there. But if it works for you, that's great. It's better than spitting it out at them in temper and making things worse.

I prefer to avoid being around people like this but it can be hard to avoid if you are related to them. If you work with them finding a new job is the best option.

posted March 30, 2008 11:58 PM         

Yoda was right about the Dark side..
Worse yet I am making myself look badly in others eyes and the one most upsetting to me is in the eye's of my Crab I am afraid that I have driven him away with my volitility....SSSOOOOOOO....I figure this excercise is the safest way to get all that negativity out of my system...without hurting myself or anyone else in the process. I jsut didn't want it to backfire (no pun inteneded) on me and invite unwittingly more negative energy. Thank you all for the reassurances and insight!! :hugs:

posted March 31, 2008 03:18 AM         

I know how difficult it is when you feel like you want to explode, can't, and then some poor unfortunate who has absolutely nothing to do with it
gets dumped on.
Avoid passive aggressive and go for calm assertive.
Ask a colleague to stand as referee and do not let her get you riled up no matter what.

Take her to one side and say (substitute your own dialogue)

"Lady, I would truly love to punch your lights out and I am sure you feel exactly the same way about me.
However we both know that this would not be conducive to a good workplace practice.
What say we treat each other with that cold polite disdain that people who really despise one another do?
And agree to stay as far away from each others faces as is practical?

You will feel better because you have told her how you feel, validated the way she feels and sounded calm and reasonable.

And then as you walk away you can say under your breath "But if I catch you alone outside of work believe me, I will hurt you in ways you cannot begin .......Oh no don't say that celtic....that's just me!!!!!!