|
Author
|
Topic: Am I asking for bad karma?
|
cmilo13
Knowflake Posts: 14
From:
Registered: Feb 2008
|
posted April 23, 2008 07:42 PM
 
Hello!
I think I just need a place to vent about this issue and see what other people think that arent involved.
I am a college student and quickly became friends with a staff member at the college. He isnt technically a professor, but he teaches the labs to the students. Anyways, this man is a real flirt, he was always finding any opportunity to touch these young girls, and flirt with them. It was kind of uncomfortable to watch because he is an older man (35) hitting on 18-20 year old girls. He shares way too much personal info to these girls, and myself included. We know all about his problems he is having with his girlfriend, his sex life (or lack of), his personal drinking habits, etc..
Things went sour between us, for reasons unknown to me, but it was okay because he really isnt the type of guy that could be a real friend. Anyways, I became really fed up with his behaviour and made a complaint along with 2 other girls against him to the teachers of the class. They said that they would have a meeting with him with him to discuss his inapropriate behavior , but we didnt see any improvment in his attitude.
I decided to leave the class for more advanced work, and was relieved to get away from him. But now I am even more involved in this drama, because he is a little too friendly with the girls in the new class. To them, he is a god. They all think he is the coolest, because he has told them that he considers them "not as students, but as friends." So he is even more flirty and raunchier with them. I know of one ocassion that he has come into school late at night drunk, and another ocassion used chewing tobacco while at school. He is meeting up with one of the girls in my class late at night. I have no idea what they are doing, she claims that they are just "talking".
Just this past week, rumors are flying everwhere that he is cheating on his girlfriend with a student. All started by HIM. I am soo sick and tired of this, I cant learn anything beacuse of all this drama. I want to make a formal complaint to his boss and possibly the deans. If I do this am I asking for bad karma to come my way? Since he has already had a warning, I want him gone. He dosent deserve this job, give it to someone who can handle working around young females. I just dont know how to handle this situation, even if I do complain, would it get him fired? I just dont think I can put up with another year of this. It is so bad that it makes me want to leave school early and not finish my degree so I can get away from him. IP: Logged |
lechien
Knowflake Posts: 73
From: Germany
Registered: Apr 2008
|
posted April 23, 2008 10:09 PM
i don't think it has anything to do with karma. it's disrupting your concentration, and you should tell just that to his superiors. whether he'll get fired or not is up to them, but you already placed a complaint with others before, so they will keep that in perspective. if he gets fired that's his own fault.IP: Logged |
BlueRoamer
Knowflake Posts: 4074
From: Calm Blue Ocean, Calm Blue Ocean
Registered: Jun 2003
|
posted April 23, 2008 10:50 PM
I teach labs and I can tell you that that guy is extremely unprofessional and deserves to be reported.IP: Logged |
Astralmuse
Knowflake Posts: 234
From:
Registered: Sep 2007
|
posted April 23, 2008 11:54 PM
If you truly believe that his behavior is preventing students from learning and/or he is preying on students because he is in a position of power, then filing a formal complaint may be beneficial to his students (and if he learns from it, it will hopefully benefit him as well). If it is bothering you, perhaps there are other people bothered as well who are afraid to speak up because this guy might retaliate with a bad grade.As far as making a decision that isn't "asking for bad karma" - just make sure it isn't based on a personal vendetta. Base your decision on the actions and not the person. Unfortunately, college is when a lot of people learn about the ugly side of power-imbalance especially between staff/faculty and students. It can be very disheartening, but remember that you can't control other people, only your own reactions and proactions. It sounds like this may be a time for you to proact and report him, but however you decide handle it I wish you much luck. IP: Logged |
cmilo13
Knowflake Posts: 14
From:
Registered: Feb 2008
|
posted April 24, 2008 01:22 AM
Thank you for your replies. It made me feel much better, and I wrote a letter to his supervisor and civil rights officer for possible sexual harassment issues.
The reason I was concerned about karmic issues is because I do have personal issues with him, but I think it is just because of his actions. I just feel guilty knowing that I really want him to be fired.
IP: Logged |
blue moon
Moderator Posts: 1392
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007
|
posted April 24, 2008 02:50 AM
Then maybe put across your concerns without pressing for what action you think is best to take in this instance, i.e that you want him sacked. Stick to what is bothering you about it ~ justice rather than revenge. As it happens something similar happened to me but in a class of teenage girls. The one who got really entangled with this wasn't the most stable person in town, so the potential for damage was increased. That could happen here so don't feel bad for bringing this issue to light. Did you fall for it yourself at first then see the light quicker than everyone else? That was me, and I felt angry with myself for being suckered, but I was only 17 at the time. We really were ripe for manipulation, weren't we? IP: Logged |
cmilo13
Knowflake Posts: 14
From:
Registered: Feb 2008
|
posted April 24, 2008 03:31 AM
blue moon-
Yes I did fall for it at first, but then saw the light. I thought that I was the only one who he told all of this personal inapropriate things with, and then realized that he was doing it to 4 other girls in the class. When things went sour between us, a horrible side to him came out and he became really mean towards me. He began trying to make me jealous? by heavily complimenting and flirting with certain girls only when I was around, and would not help me when I needed it. Thats when I changed labs to try and get away from the uneeded drama. But of course, that didnt work out.
In the letter I gave 2 situations that I would like to see; either his attitude and behavior change drastically, or he no longer works for the college.
I also found out that another lab teacher is dating a student, and have been for 7 months. So maybe my school has a really lax policy on this matter. Eitherway I am just glad that I finally did get it out to the appropriate channels. You would not belive how much this was stressing me out for sometime now. I am just not looking forward to the "offical" meetings that come with this matter.IP: Logged |
praecipua
Knowflake Posts: 550
From: england
Registered: Aug 2007
|
posted April 24, 2008 09:19 AM
quote:
He dosent deserve this job, give it to someone who can handle working around young females. I just dont know how to handle this situation, even if I do complain, would it get him fired?
man i cant believe you are judging him. ok we all do it sometimes so actually i understand but when you read what you wrote here, don't you find it out of order, even if his behaviour SEEMS out of order to you? you already made your complain. if you want him sack, maybe you should look at the reason which make you want him to be sacked. you might find a treasure waiting to be discovered. instead, by wanting him sack and focussing on him, u hide the treasure inside even more. forgive him and move on. nobody's perfect, not even you. imagine you would be doing a job, whatever it is, and someone disapproves of you. fair enough. but would you like them to have as objective to get rid of you because you trouble them? maybe you would be ok with that, i don't know.... you create your universe. quote:
It is so bad that it makes me want to leave school early and not finish my degree so I can get away from him.
i understand that but if you are a sensitive person, i guess you'll also feel bad later on when he'll have been sacked and you'll feel ok without him around. otherwise your problem is self-centeredness. ps: i don't mean to judge but you ask a question, so i reply. nothing personal. really it's not an attack. i'm sensitive too and when i read your questions i got emotional. so it's a immediate answer. accept it or disregard it. as you wish. IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
