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Author Topic:   Making a baby
fieryscales
Moderator

Posts: 641
From: My own private world
Registered: Jan 2008

posted June 11, 2008 03:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for fieryscales     Edit/Delete Message
This was forwarded to me, hilarious!

Making a baby. This is hilarious!

There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'

' Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat'.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my ! shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment? '

'It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'
Mrs. Smith fainted

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 25818
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted June 11, 2008 10:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

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"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." Charles Schultz

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alma_pisces
Knowflake

Posts: 281
From: bottom of the ocean
Registered: Sep 2004

posted June 12, 2008 01:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for alma_pisces     Edit/Delete Message
Hahahahaha this is hilarius!!!! :P

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venusdeindia
Knowflake

Posts: 1302
From: mumbai,india
Registered: Nov 2006

posted June 12, 2008 03:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for venusdeindia     Edit/Delete Message
lmao

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taurus/gemini cusp
Knowflake

Posts: 700
From: London, England
Registered: Sep 2006

posted June 12, 2008 05:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for taurus/gemini cusp     Edit/Delete Message
LOL!!!

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SunChild
Moderator

Posts: 4108
From: Australia
Registered: Jan 2004

posted June 12, 2008 06:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SunChild     Edit/Delete Message
omg lol

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fieryscales
Moderator

Posts: 641
From: My own private world
Registered: Jan 2008

posted June 12, 2008 08:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for fieryscales     Edit/Delete Message
Guys, I still laugh at this joke, it is a classic

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