posted June 16, 2008 09:22 AM         

Nicknames
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.

If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy

Eating Out
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

Money
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

Bathrooms
A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

Arguements
A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Cats
Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

Future
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Success
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

Marriage
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

Dressing Up
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals

Natural
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

Offspring
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

posted June 16, 2008 09:35 AM         

:::

posted June 16, 2008 09:59 AM         

hahahahahaha so true ROFL!!!!!!

posted June 16, 2008 11:27 AM         

It is something that has puzzled me for years and meant that I have had to (only when it mattered) leap out of bed, do some drastic repair work and then surreptitiously slip back in before they noticed.

"Yes my love. I always wake up with this natural dewy glow and a hint of lip gloss"
Thinks.......
"Good job you didn't spot me half hour previous, with one eye glued together, something that resembles an eagle eyrie on my head and mascara in every conceivable spot except my eyelashes"

posted June 16, 2008 02:07 PM         

quote:

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this is actually so true .
and i love kicking dogs

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If I catch you kicking a dog, I would break that leg in no time.

posted June 16, 2008 04:42 PM         

HHmmm....I know more female cat haters and more female dog lovers than men.
Most males I know like cats and dogs.
Women seem to have this thing for horses and big dogs.

posted June 17, 2008 09:54 AM         

quote:

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Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

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Lol! Yes and No.

WARNING: Possible boring scientific explaination below:

Its all about hormonal balance and fluctuations. And believe it or not guys, we do have trace amount of estrogen in our blood as well. If we didn't, you can be sure we would wake up looking like lizards LOL! If the body is under stress and duress, you can be sure that the hormal balance within a the body is disturbed and regardless of of your sex, you will look like crap in the morning.

Now ever wondered guys as to why women look so radient and beautiful the morning after lovemaking? Well simply put, the estrogen levels after sex are usually at their peak point and the results really show the morning after. I just refer to it as the MAG (Morning After Glow) Lol!

That should be another incentive for any guy to actually wait till the morning after just to appreciate the beautiful being sleeping right next to him.

posted June 18, 2008 12:06 AM         

quote:

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If I catch you kicking a dog, I would break that leg in no time.

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and i would break the other leg yin missed out on... but not if it were a pomeranian.

posted June 18, 2008 02:14 PM         

We can look after 2 kids, cook a dinner and fill out a tax return form at the same time.

We can find things.

We can check out the intimate parts of someone's anatomy without making it blindly obvious.

If we aren't sure of the way to get somewhere we will stop someone and ask them for help.