Author
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Topic: The Differences between Men and Women
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cancerrg Knowflake Posts: 2750 From: Registered: Dec 2004
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posted June 16, 2008 09:22 AM
The Differences between Men and Women Nicknames If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.
If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy Eating Out When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. Money A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. Bathrooms A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. Arguements A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. Cats Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. Future A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. Success A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Marriage A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. Dressing Up A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals Natural Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. Offspring Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
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cancerrg Knowflake Posts: 2750 From: Registered: Dec 2004
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posted June 16, 2008 09:35 AM
:::Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.::: this is actually so true . and i love kicking dogs IP: Logged |
Lara Knowflake Posts: 1256 From: London Registered: Mar 2006
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posted June 16, 2008 09:59 AM
"A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house" hahahahahaha so true ROFL!!!!!!
Great list - thank you, it made me smile IP: Logged |
lechien Knowflake Posts: 218 From: Germany Registered: Apr 2008
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posted June 16, 2008 10:00 AM
recently i was told by my mom that the reason i'm still single is because i am not feminine. i guess i display some traits above that are supposed to be men's. suppose it's time to start caring about money and filling the bathroom with 330 more cosmetic products... IP: Logged |
bunnies Knowflake Posts: 286 From: U.K Registered: Mar 2007
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posted June 16, 2008 11:27 AM
Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed. Why is this? Why why why???It is something that has puzzled me for years and meant that I have had to (only when it mattered) leap out of bed, do some drastic repair work and then surreptitiously slip back in before they noticed. "Yes my love. I always wake up with this natural dewy glow and a hint of lip gloss" Thinks....... "Good job you didn't spot me half hour previous, with one eye glued together, something that resembles an eagle eyrie on my head and mascara in every conceivable spot except my eyelashes" Anyone any ideas how they manage it? IP: Logged |
lalalinda Moderator Posts: 3502 From: nevada Registered: Jun 2005
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posted June 16, 2008 11:43 AM
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Battle of Evermore Knowflake Posts: 1194 From: Registered: Sep 2004
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posted June 16, 2008 12:30 PM
Thanks for posting this. Made me laugh.IP: Logged |
LEXX Knowflake Posts: 898 From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........LEXIGRAMMING... fayte1954@hotmail.com Registered: Jan 2008
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posted June 16, 2008 12:54 PM
The role adopting world of straight people! I am glad I do not live like that! In my circle of people close to me in my offline world. the gender roles/sterotypes are heavily blurred. I like it! As for the jokes... Very funny and some sadly true of many heteros though.IP: Logged |
Yin Knowflake Posts: 1487 From: Registered: May 2004
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posted June 16, 2008 02:07 PM
quote: this is actually so true . and i love kicking dogs
If I catch you kicking a dog, I would break that leg in no time. And I'm kidding in case you were kidding too. IP: Logged |
LEXX Knowflake Posts: 898 From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........LEXIGRAMMING... fayte1954@hotmail.com Registered: Jan 2008
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posted June 16, 2008 04:42 PM
lechien I saw your pictures! You are very fem and pretty in my opinion! HHmmm....I know more female cat haters and more female dog lovers than men. Most males I know like cats and dogs. Women seem to have this thing for horses and big dogs.
As far as men waking up looking better than women. That is an easy call. Women wear their fake faces and unnatural hairstyles, and men get used to seeing the illusion, the mask...so when a woman wakes up, she is not looking like she or he is used to seeing. Men on the other hand usually are natural. No masks. So we get used to seeing them as they really look, albeit a bit rumpled when first awaking, but still not a drastic change. IP: Logged |
BlueRoamer Knowflake Posts: 4528 From: Calm Blue Ocean, Calm Blue Ocean Registered: Jun 2003
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posted June 16, 2008 06:41 PM
LOL the last line made me laugh.IP: Logged |
lechien Knowflake Posts: 218 From: Germany Registered: Apr 2008
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posted June 16, 2008 10:35 PM
LEXX thank you!! but my mom was pointing out the inner feminine, ouch.IP: Logged |
LEXX Knowflake Posts: 898 From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........LEXIGRAMMING... fayte1954@hotmail.com Registered: Jan 2008
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posted June 17, 2008 12:38 AM
lechien Ahh that inner self! Being neither a true man or woman physically & psychologically a guy, I can definitely relate.IP: Logged |
lechien Knowflake Posts: 218 From: Germany Registered: Apr 2008
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posted June 17, 2008 07:10 AM
LEXX IP: Logged |
Xodian Moderator Posts: 1865 From: Canada Registered: Dec 2006
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posted June 17, 2008 09:54 AM
quote: Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
Lol! Yes and No. WARNING: Possible boring scientific explaination below: Its all about hormonal balance and fluctuations. And believe it or not guys, we do have trace amount of estrogen in our blood as well. If we didn't, you can be sure we would wake up looking like lizards LOL! If the body is under stress and duress, you can be sure that the hormal balance within a the body is disturbed and regardless of of your sex, you will look like crap in the morning. Now ever wondered guys as to why women look so radient and beautiful the morning after lovemaking? Well simply put, the estrogen levels after sex are usually at their peak point and the results really show the morning after. I just refer to it as the MAG (Morning After Glow) Lol! That should be another incentive for any guy to actually wait till the morning after just to appreciate the beautiful being sleeping right next to him.
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LEXX Knowflake Posts: 898 From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........LEXIGRAMMING... fayte1954@hotmail.com Registered: Jan 2008
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posted June 17, 2008 06:36 PM
It's not that simple. http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,574911-3,00.html Both Testosterone and Estrogen have to have a balance.IP: Logged |
AceNeerav Knowflake Posts: 48 From: Mumbai, Maharashtra, India Registered: Apr 2008
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posted June 18, 2008 12:06 AM
quote: If I catch you kicking a dog, I would break that leg in no time.
and i would break the other leg yin missed out on... but not if it were a pomeranian. i hate pomeranians! IP: Logged |
cancerrg Knowflake Posts: 2750 From: Registered: Dec 2004
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posted June 18, 2008 09:02 AM
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Battle of Evermore Knowflake Posts: 1194 From: Registered: Sep 2004
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posted June 18, 2008 12:42 PM
I hate pomerians too... does that make me manly? I pretty much kick dogs every day. There are so many in my house, you can't really walk without accidentally kicking a few. IP: Logged |
blue moon Moderator Posts: 1941 From: U.K Registered: Dec 2007
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posted June 18, 2008 02:14 PM
Difference between men and women? We can look after 2 kids, cook a dinner and fill out a tax return form at the same time. We can find things. We can check out the intimate parts of someone's anatomy without making it blindly obvious. If we aren't sure of the way to get somewhere we will stop someone and ask them for help. We remember birthdays and special events.
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