|
Author
|
Topic: Cut 'em dead!
|
The Mutable Night Force
Knowflake Posts: 1484
From: England
Registered: Dec 2004
|
posted October 10, 2008 02:41 PM
 
A bit of a ponder....
Lindaland-lubbers!Cutting a person dead (ie. ignoring) who you hold a particularly nasty grudge or resentment towards- Immature or the ultimate revenge?? Votes please!  IP: Logged |
nattie33
Knowflake Posts: 680
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2005
|
posted October 10, 2008 03:53 PM
Sounds like a plan to my virgo earsIP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 5469
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
|
posted October 11, 2008 01:20 AM
It depends on whether they want your attention.
* people generally want the attention of anyone who doesn't give them attention though.I think I'd break and yell at them or somehow express my frustration. I've never been a big 'don't share when you're mad' person. I like to get it all out and in the air. Depending on how it's done, it would be immature or, if it doesn't affect you, and you are just *done* with this person whether they like it or not, because you simply don't care.. that sounds pretty good to me. But if you are aware of every time you ignore them, then technically, they win. It depends on the offense, but it is viable.
IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Knowflake Posts: 2708
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008
|
posted October 11, 2008 04:21 AM
For me it's a coping mechanism.I shut down. When I'm really upset with someone I just can't bring myself to speak to them. So I ignoring them is just giving me space to find peace and to deal with the issue internally. But generally, I don't speak to people I don't like. IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 13457
From: CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
|
posted October 11, 2008 05:12 AM
Depends on how much you've liked the person. If it's someone you really like, but you feel betrayed, in time you'll want that relationship back. If it's someone you've never really cared about to begin with, then cutting them loose won't be too bad.IP: Logged |
bunnies
Knowflake Posts: 432
From: U.K
Registered: Mar 2007
|
posted October 11, 2008 07:12 AM
I think it's fine if you are never going to have to be in day to day contact with someone.
I have done it several times.
You just don't go where they go, don't answer texts or e.mails and that is it.
BUT and this is a big BUT
I know someone who is having this happen now, in the work place.
He had an argument with someone and now they don't speak and it is forcing people to take sides.
Now that is horrendous for him....horrendous
He has tried to sort it out just for the sake of work but the person refuses.It is extremely effective though if you want to bring a difficult lover to heel.
Why people don't realise this simple truth?
If you want someone back who still has feelings for you, just ignore them....completely. How many times do you read?
"I told him it was all over unless he was prepared to commit....then I just sent him a text explaining why....and he didn't reply so I sent another text saying that I didn't think his attitude was right and it would be better if we could remain friends.....and he didn't reply....so I sent him a text saying his attitude stank and that I was really hurt by it....(ad infinitum) Just cut him/ her dead. They'll be back in 5 minutes!
Worked on me!!! IP: Logged |
blue moon
Moderator Posts: 3355
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007
|
posted October 11, 2008 07:22 AM
It sounds like a situation where I would either blast off in a showdown of telling someone what I think, or I cut them off completely. A sustained grudge campaign isn't really in my emotional make-up. My mother does this though. It's not necessarily childish. If you are feeling resentful about someone that means you probably still care about them on some level, and you might have a justified complaint about their behaviour. IP: Logged |
PeaceAngel
Knowflake Posts: 2708
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008
|
posted October 11, 2008 07:29 AM
bunniesYou are so right about cutting someone off and them coming back in 5 minutes. Problem with that for me is that when I cut someone off - there' a lot of processing having gone into that decision - and it's final. So when they come back 5 minutes later - it's infuriating. IP: Logged |
CoralFrequency
Knowflake Posts: 1295
From:
Registered: Feb 2007
|
posted October 11, 2008 08:51 PM
It really depends on the situation. I would think it's important to discuss things with them. But I'm very confrontational by nature, so I would definitely confront them first of all.If the behaviour continued, then I would eventually detach - not for revenge purposes, but because they are obviously not my kind of person and I would prefer to not have them in my life. If you are doing this TO get revenge, I do believe it's immature.. Whatever negative feelings you throw at them, they *can* throw back. It could just go on and on. That's what usually happens with revenge. It also creates bad karma. I would say – try to forgive this person, first all, so you can let go of the situation. If they are continuously hurting you, being disrespectful or bothering you in some way - that's a perfectly valid reason to not want someone in your life.
About people coming back in 5 minutes. It depends on the person. I'm very serious about endings.. so if I ended something, like PeaceAngel, I would've given things a lot of thought. I wouldn't want to get back with the person.
I feel the same way about someone ending things with me. There is no way I'd contact them again. I'd take the break-up seriously.
I don't actually like people who do things to play games, and I can always tell. If someone does something - I take it seriously, and hopefully they don’t come crying about how "it was all a game to them".. It’s not a game to me. I don't date people I see as childish. IP: Logged |
teaselbaby
Knowflake Posts: 1411
From: Northeast Ohio
Registered: Sep 2002
|
posted October 12, 2008 11:27 AM
*IP: Logged |
The Mutable Night Force
Knowflake Posts: 1484
From: England
Registered: Dec 2004
|
posted October 13, 2008 02:22 PM
Ooo interesting that people have brought up ignoring in the the contact sense (ie. Phone and email) cos that's a whole different ballpark... probably wholly more justifiable... less petty, more self-preservation.I have to admit I have done the act in question, but for good reasons! 1) I hadn't seen the person in over a year since which they had committed many immoral and social faux pas towards me. 2) I had absolutely no idea what to say- say something friendly, you hate yourself for letting them think they can be nasty to people and get away with it, acknowledge them in a cold grudge-bearing way and t seems you haven't got over it and makes you very petty indeed. 3) Haha I didn't know what I looked like, was sure i wasn't drop-dead gorgeous and plus, I'd just been dumped a fortnight before, so wasn't that confident.
So...... didn't really have a choice other than to walk straight past (awkward since they were outside a shop front and my friend had spoken to the group minutes ago...) Unfortunately I messed up by looking over my shoulder (twice... groan...) from a distance. Even worse, I'm near-sighted, so wasn't sure but thought I made the person out to be smiling! Not the desired reaction  Grumble. haha IP: Logged |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
