posted October 16, 2008 09:59 PM         

The past 6 months have been h$ll for me. My work life has been bearing down on me, to the point of emotional abuse.

I put myself on medication to try to quite smoking, because I was told by my superiors that I wasn't setting a good example by taking smoke breaks. The medication made me suicidal.

I have sacrificed any potential of a life outside work, because I was told that I wasn't allowed to socialize with co-managers or staff.

One of my fellow managers has been purposefully sabotaging me. The irony is- I have been told to remove her from position, but because I am not an evil power mongering manager, I always gave her the benefit of the doubt and tried to help her. The truth is, I have been doing her job for the past 6 months. The extended irony is that my final eval faults me for DOING my job, when she failed to do hers.

There is so much backstory that it would bore everyone to tears... and recounting my nights spent crying and agonizing over this decision are not worth reminiscing about.

I finished yesterday, and received my final eval... written by people whom have not been at my workplace for months. They have based their evaluation of me on the phone calls from an illiterate ex meth head who cannot perform her own job, and never should have been given it in the first place.

So, I am done.

I am walking away from a prestigious management position, with free living and job security.. into the great unknown. I have been here for 5 years. I loved this place, and loved my job. I gave everything to it- 70 hours a week, with no regards to any personal life. I have been told that I am lacking, based on subjective observations. Even though I fulfilled all my expectations regarding budget and guest feedback, apparently I am just not good enough.

Here I come- back to the real world.

Wish me luck- and thanks for reading!

posted October 16, 2008 10:44 PM         

Does it challenge and stretch me?
Does it encourage me to become a more balanced, a giving person?
Does this relationship bring out the very best within me?
Congratulions..You hung in there long enough. Welcome Back!

posted October 17, 2008 02:42 AM         

I quit my job of 4 years a couple of months ago...long story.

But I've gone thru a long period of feeling sorry for myself...yes, even suicidal thoughts. If it weren't for my kids, I'd have off'd myself a long time ago.

So now it's just a matter of picking up the pieces and moving on.
I don't know where you are right now emotionally, but hang in there. Everything will fall into place eventually. Just take things one day at a time.
Maybe you need a break from the day to day bustle..perhaps a couple of weeks to re group...
Then when you feel that you are ready for it, look for another job. Maybe this was meant to be.. I believe that everything happens for a reason...even the sh1tty things.. you will be alright, just give it time.
I'm going in tomorrow to the temporary agency to see about a new job...I'll be thinking of you and wish you the best.
((HUG))

posted October 17, 2008 07:01 AM         

I work with children. I wouldn't have it any other way. They are pure in thought and deed.

I shudder to think of working in any cut-throat industry with ........ big people!

Good luck. You may find that a change is a blessing in disguise. Let us know how it goes!!

posted October 18, 2008 07:36 PM         

What's funny, is that over the past few days I have been talking to friends and family about my decision..over the past summer, all of these people have been goading me "Just leave!! Just go!! This is horrid."
And now, they are commenting..do you have a back up plan? Have you really quit? Are you sure??

ARRRRGHHH.

The very day that Merc Rx ended, it was like some other, higher mind said "yup, this is it. Start planning."
And I vacillate- is this really a good idea? The economy sucks... you don't pay rent here..you have health insurance here...

But I do think- no, I feel, it's more like intuition than logical thought- that I MUST do this. It had to get so very bad, to make me uncomfortable enough to make me leave.

Kind of like pregnancy. Its so miserable and uncomfortable at the end, so women stop fearing the labor just because they want to get it over with.

This is so scary, so exciting. I remember when I always lived like this- with great risk comes great reward.

Here's hoping it does, anyways.