Posts: 1813
From: ann arbor mi
Registered: Apr 2008

posted December 18, 2008 12:07 PM         

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Posts: 1813
From: ann arbor mi
Registered: Apr 2008

posted December 18, 2008 12:11 PM         

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Posts: 1813
From: ann arbor mi
Registered: Apr 2008

posted December 18, 2008 12:29 PM         

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Posts: 6057
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007

posted December 18, 2008 12:30 PM         

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Before having read through that fully I am going to rush in with the question ~ why is the bank sending his mail there still?

Either change that right away, or get all his mail redirected.

I don't know if you have that service where you live, but here in the U.K you can request it from a certain time.

I would hate for any of my mail to go to a box in the middle of nowhere, and bank cards. No.

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Posts: 1813
From: ann arbor mi
Registered: Apr 2008

posted December 18, 2008 12:33 PM         

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Posts: 1275
From: Meet Me in Sofia
Registered: Nov 2006

posted December 18, 2008 12:34 PM         

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Sorry you're going thru this. I hope there is a way for you to permanently block her access to his account.

Send positive vibes her way. It might help put her on the right path. You are the bigger person, and you know exactly how to handle this.

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Posts: 1813
From: ann arbor mi
Registered: Apr 2008

posted December 18, 2008 12:38 PM         

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great idea duex. there is much powering forgiving and not reacting and praying she will be a better mother and find in her own life the good and right things.. I have seen that help a lot before when nothing else works. Thank you for reminding me. A real friend helps you take a higher road. thank you again for reminding me.

sometimes I get so mad.

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Posts: 1813
From: ann arbor mi
Registered: Apr 2008

posted December 18, 2008 12:45 PM         

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great idea duex. there is much powering forgiving and not reacting and praying she will be a better mother and find in her own life the good and right things.. I have seen that help a lot before when nothing else works. Thank you for reminding me. A real friend helps you take a higher road. thank you again for reminding me.

sometimes I get so mad.

a triple leo with a taurus rising can have somewhat of a temper. Been working on it. she has no idea how lucky she is I am evolving.

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Posts: 976
From: france
Registered: Aug 2007

posted December 18, 2008 01:09 PM         

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well a real friend is not afraid to hurt someone to help him and if you need to be blunt then what's wrong with it? i think she should know that what you really want is to ram her head into a tree. deep down she will know that's what she will deserve if she keep acting this way. and lucky her it didn't happened already. help her realise she's not stupid...

for the money, i would do something like open another account (either on your name or your future man's name) so she CAN'T have access to it.

for the nose picking and all the rest, i would roar like a lion. period. (not pms though. lol)

she's probably trying to play it nice and at the same time nasty. you're her ex, new lover. she must get it. period again. it can be hard for her though, so maybe take that into account, or when you get really angry with her, make sure you mention the fact that you know that it can be hard for her that you are her ex lover new gf. she needs to know that you get how hard it is for her. and that's easier to make her understand if yourself are convinced of her situation maybe by imagining how she must feel. however that doesn't mean she must play with you, and ridicule you or anything.

roar sunshine, no more messing around. it might help her.

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Posts: 8199
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted December 18, 2008 01:38 PM         

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Sending {{{ hugs }}} your way, sunshine
I hope your Sag immediately implements the suggestions above. He and Aries have no formal legal relationship, yes?? It would be right and proper for him to report any of her ATTEMPTED THEFTS to the Police.

I love your great big heart!! What a generous spirit you are, taking their son under your wing
Is there some kind of custody arrangement between them?? If there isn't now, you might want to look into one..... if she has visitation rights to her son, she will be coming to YOUR house, yes??

Once you're married, I would look into filing a restraining order, because if she violates it (by mailbox rifling or bank shenanigans or coming onto YOUR property) she can be arrested.

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Posts: 1813
From: ann arbor mi
Registered: Apr 2008

posted December 18, 2008 01:39 PM         

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Posts: 1813
From: ann arbor mi
Registered: Apr 2008

posted December 18, 2008 01:55 PM         

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Posts: 976
From: france
Registered: Aug 2007

posted December 18, 2008 02:00 PM         

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well the kid is part of the story because he's her son and your lover's son but that's it. he doesn't have to be involved in your relationships, good or bad. for him, she's her mum, his dad is his dad and you are his dad's future wife. nothing else is relevant to him.

if you argue with her, i think he shouldn't be here. you are in control of your feelings so far, so you can probably maintain that just long enough for the kid to get out of the room. you can probably tell her too, that you wait for him to be away cause you don't want HER kid to see you yelling at her, for his sake.

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Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.
Buddha

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Posts: 976
From: france
Registered: Aug 2007

posted December 18, 2008 02:07 PM         

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the text will show her that you want to keep playing with her. like kids in schoolyard. sure you are wining already, it's probably not very nice to go on and on about it.

unless if you want to make sure she feels like a looser. then do it. if you want to do your part to eventually create a positive vibe for you, your man who used to love her, her and the kid, i think it's better to remain in control. for me it's easy to say that cause i'm not involved, i agree. but in the long run, if she were to become a "friend", life could become easier for all of you. in fact you've already acted in this way. to become childish would be you loosing. see it as a confirmation of your evolution.

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Posts: 8199
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted December 18, 2008 02:09 PM         

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quote:

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I guess that I should wait until he move the money, as she can call the bank and give his information and find out if it is true.

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Absolutely!!
I don't know if this is true with your bank, but in order to get any information from someone on the phone at the bank, you have to have the PIN number associated with the account. As long as he is changing accounts etc he should activate a new PIN #.....

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Posts: 976
From: france
Registered: Aug 2007

posted December 18, 2008 02:10 PM         

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i suggest you go to the restaurant with your man to celebrate your new found you. a romantic evening.

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Posts: 1813
From: ann arbor mi
Registered: Apr 2008

posted December 18, 2008 02:25 PM         

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you are right. we will do what we need to...to secure the account and go on with life. celebrating our new life. you are so right. I have been a lady thus far and I will remain such.

thank you all.

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Posts: 779
From: U.K
Registered: Mar 2007

posted December 18, 2008 02:29 PM         

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One solicitors letter and have it served.
Better than text messages which she will wave around saying
"Look what that b**** sent me.
NEVER put anything in your own writing.
A solicitors letter makes it clear that you have no intention of dealing with her any other way.

But when you do get her alone just mention that if she does anything like it again you will shove that card somewhere where no CANCEL button will ever get rid of it.
But that's just me!

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Posts: 14879
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005

posted December 18, 2008 02:42 PM         

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Yes, MOVE THAT MONEY! QUICK!

And consider reporting it.

And get him a new SS number if you suspect that she'll try to steal his identity.

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Posts: 2864
From: Australia
Registered: Jun 2008

posted December 18, 2008 04:12 PM         

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There is fantastic advice here, sunshine lion. Here I am, dragging myself in late, or is it early being a day ahead?

Protect that money immediately. It would wreck the beginning of your married life having to deal with a theft. Talk to the bank and ask them to place you both in a safe position. Banks have a lien system to protect the money they loan out to people - the ex may have to be placed on as a warning for fraud.

And then......Let her go. Let her go. Let her go. Let her go. Let her go. And she will go......

Love to you and keep us posted!!!!!!!

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