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Author Topic:   really bad chat up lines ....
blue moon
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Posts: 5926
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007

posted February 22, 2009 03:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for blue moon     Edit/Delete Message

Having sex with my wife is like having sex with a nun.

My girlfriend had a baby a couple of months ago and I've been on the sofa ever since.

I'd like to say I am making those up.

Anyone got any more? Just to cheer everyone up who is having a rough time at the moment.

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blue moon
Moderator

Posts: 5926
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007

posted February 23, 2009 03:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for blue moon     Edit/Delete Message
It can't just be me, or maybe it is...

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MyVirgoMask
Knowflake

Posts: 2628
From: Florida for now
Registered: Sep 2008

posted February 23, 2009 04:29 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MyVirgoMask     Edit/Delete Message
Alright, Blue Moon, I've got some nasty ones...they're pretty terrible, actually :


Delete. These are way terrible, I changed my mind. Sorry

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koiflower
Knowflake

Posts: 2645
From: Australia
Registered: Jun 2008

posted February 23, 2009 04:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for koiflower     Edit/Delete Message
"Want a glass of wine?"

Got that at yesterday's tupperware party. I said no.

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MyVirgoMask
Knowflake

Posts: 2628
From: Florida for now
Registered: Sep 2008

posted February 23, 2009 04:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MyVirgoMask     Edit/Delete Message
Ok, these are bad, but not nearly as horrid as the ones I deleted:

"Are you milk? Because you do the body good."

"I'd like to leave bruises on you. You have amazing skin, I'm sure they'd turn a great color."

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blue moon
Moderator

Posts: 5926
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007

posted February 23, 2009 04:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for blue moon     Edit/Delete Message
run!

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wheelsofcheese
Knowflake

Posts: 1906
From: UK
Registered: Jan 2008

posted February 23, 2009 05:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for wheelsofcheese     Edit/Delete Message
Got any English in you?
No?
Do you want some?


eww

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blue moon
Moderator

Posts: 5926
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007

posted February 23, 2009 05:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for blue moon     Edit/Delete Message
What retorts to they get?

Sofa man got: you'll have to have a wank then, won't you? Don't think I'm going to do anything about it.

The bruises one... that wins so far...or should that be loses?

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MyVirgoMask
Knowflake

Posts: 2628
From: Florida for now
Registered: Sep 2008

posted February 23, 2009 05:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MyVirgoMask     Edit/Delete Message
Yeah, that was pretty bad, Blue moon.

This is in a really long bathroom line during Mardi Gras:
"Wanna make out on the toilet?"

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wheelsofcheese
Knowflake

Posts: 1906
From: UK
Registered: Jan 2008

posted February 23, 2009 07:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for wheelsofcheese     Edit/Delete Message
I used to get plain old "Fancy a ***k?" quite a lot in my youth. Never failed to amuse. Never worked. I did ask one of them about it once - if you ask a lot of women apparently one will say yes, so it was quite a successful strategy for the askee.

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blue moon
Moderator

Posts: 5926
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007

posted February 23, 2009 07:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for blue moon     Edit/Delete Message
MVM you must have some kind of magnet going on. I can't imagine what lines you got were so bad you can't type them up here, because these are dire.

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MyVirgoMask
Knowflake

Posts: 2628
From: Florida for now
Registered: Sep 2008

posted February 23, 2009 07:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MyVirgoMask     Edit/Delete Message
Blue Moon, I've been in some really strange and surreal situations in my early 20's, so I seem to have too many of these that stick out in my mind.

The ones I deleted were actually given to me by a friend who was describing his sex life...and they're just pretty disgusting, and also disturbing. To the extent that I had to rethink the friendship.

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pixelpixie
Knowflake

Posts: 5492
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005

posted February 24, 2009 12:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message
" I would love to eat your ****y"

I literally gagged and asked him if that ever worked on anyone...because it certainly didn't entice.

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venusdeindia
Knowflake

Posts: 1884
From: mumbai,india and San Jose
Registered: Nov 2006

posted February 24, 2009 04:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for venusdeindia     Edit/Delete Message
I got the absofinlutely ridiculous one at a club in SFrancisco.I was wearing a white blouse and black skirt and quite a number of guys were checking me - well ofcourse i was new to the club and the only non- white in my group of friends.

Enter Mr.Asian Women Fetish Syndrome

" What is it about you Asian Girls - you are so fcukin hot the ice in my drink just evapourated "

yikes.....

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MyVirgoMask
Knowflake

Posts: 2628
From: Florida for now
Registered: Sep 2008

posted February 24, 2009 05:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MyVirgoMask     Edit/Delete Message
LOL, Venus! I know what you mean -

I remember one guy I'd just met at a bar finding out I was Egyptian and saying:

"Wow, you're Egyptian? That's really erotic."

Me: "I think you mean exotic."

Him: "Uh. Oh...wow, yeah. What did I just say?"

What a dork

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sunshine_lion
Knowflake

Posts: 1741
From: ann arbor mi
Registered: Apr 2008

posted February 24, 2009 03:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sunshine_lion     Edit/Delete Message
ok, this is just as bad, some guy was riding his kid(about 4 years old) on this bike, stared at my butt so hard he ran into a post, kid and all! poor kid.


ok ok, are you wore out? you have been running thru my mind all night. (usually some schmuck with poor hygeine)

you must be from tenessee, you are the only 10 see. (wow, that musta took weeks)

pathetic lines i loved - gas station al, singing you are so beautiful to me, and you are my sunshine my only sunshine when i go in for coffee. gotta love al...and free coffee fridays!


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Pumpkin Peace
Knowflake

Posts: 135
From: Fort Collins, Colorado
Registered: Sep 2007

posted February 24, 2009 05:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Pumpkin Peace     Edit/Delete Message
Me and my sister walking out of a taco shop with a bag of tacos...

Two mexican dudes: "Hey, you girls getting some tacos?"

What does it look like? Lol.

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Xena
Knowflake

Posts: 600
From: UK
Registered: Jun 2006

posted February 24, 2009 05:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Xena     Edit/Delete Message
Christ, these guys sound absolutely dreadful - really sleazy (although to be honest, some women can be just as bad with men, sometimes). I have NEVER had any of these sorts of lines - don't actually think I have had ANY chat-up lines at all (even though I am practically a grandmother at 34 - I think somehow no-one would dare try a chat-up line on me - they'd be too afraid of a smack in the mouth - even if it was only metaphorical).

This wasn't actually a chat-up line - but it was designed to get me to fancy the bloke more (since we were friends at the time...it was a sort of getting-to-know-you stage)
Him: "So many men go on about their feminine side. I don't have a feminine side. I'm in touch with women's BACKsides."
Me: "Well, thank you very much for telling me!"
I still ended up going out with him - just because of the cheek of it - turned out it was a line he cribbed from someone else. HA!

Sunshinelion, I love your story about riding a bike. I had that happen to me too, except this guy ran into a London taxi instead.

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