posted July 22, 2022 12:03 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Randall:
Is the cancer causing any pain on its own?

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The doctors are bewildered because
I am not in screaming agony as
they expected.
Miserable nauseated burning inside
from had to toes and more but
not the cancer agonies they believe
that I should be having👽
Very week and mostly bed bound though.🥵
When they surgically implant a port
to do the chemo for like 6 months
it will be a very bad way to live.😢
Then there will be invasive surgery
and radiation of I survive that far.

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posted August 04, 2022 03:14 PM            

I am strong for
Ks say
but I do not know how much
longer I can keep fighting😢😢😢

I am going to try it though
and the first
infusion is coming up now that the
implanted port has healed over.
Then at least 6 months of that
nightmare of 6 infusions a month for
at least 6 months🤮👽😢
And bye bye all the rest of my hair for a long ng time to come👽😢🖤😳

Hoping beyond hope thatt I do not
get any of the worse reactions to
the infusions😳👽😢

Yes infusions can kill😢😳
But if I do not try it
it is is seriously not likely
that I will live much longer🖤👽😢💀🥀
so seriously must try💙🌈

The infusions go through an implanted
access port in my cst so that they
do not have
to risk any of the chemo drugs
accidentally falling on my outer skin.
I guess that can kill and or cause
serious amputations👽👽👽😳😢
Sending it tubes straight to the heart
strangely not as likely to cause
any amputations🖤👽👽
It can however still be a deadly
procedure💀🖤👽😳
to undergo for a long long time to come
and hope to survive and
hope it can help to eventually save
my life💙

Note here maybe actually
some welcome good news 💞🌈😎
Well we got some kind of
good news the other day from from the
Hemotologist oncologist
(Blood cancer and other cancers specialist)
They are actually going to do their best
to accommodate me according to the rules
of the ADA😎💖🌈
So as bad as it can be they will try
to not make me sicker and unable to
walk as they have other times because
I could not sit in those terrible
chairs as long as it was required😳👽
Get this........👽😳😢
I even developed freakish painful sores
on buttocks and thighs and tailbone
all because of how they made me sit
for hours several times already🤬😳😢👽
🤬👽😳😢
We had told them that I am unable to sit
like that but they all ignored us and
the ADA🤬😳😢
It takes three or more days to recover
and be able to walk after each time
they did that🤬😢😳
The bed sores or whatever are not healing well👽😢🖤
Hopefully it will all go better from
here on for the infusions🌈😎💙
Thank you for caring Randall💖🌈😎

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The thought of suicide
is a great consolation:
by means of it
one gets through
many a dark night.💙😎