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Author Topic:   Case of the ex???
gert
Knowflake

Posts: 151
From: south africa
Registered: Sep 2004

posted March 22, 2006 09:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for gert     Edit/Delete Message
I am kinda in a pickle with a very serious situation to deal with.
Yesterday my Aquarian friend and I had a fight that nearly turned physical.He
accused of lying,cheating,stealing away what is "his",called me a "Brutus
incarnate" and many other unpleasent things.Funny enough I wasn't as livid as
he was and didn't take the whole thing as seriously as he obviously did.The guy
wanted to beat me up and I was suprised as I have never seen that side of him
ever before.This is how things began:

Earlier that day a cancerian ex of mine came over to visit.This particular girl
is someone that we both dated.My Aquarius friend first met and had a fling with
her but things didn't work out,a month or so later I met her and she told me
that she had gone out with my friend and that things didn't work out.At first I
was bothered with the fact that I kinda was going after my friends left-overs
but the attraction was immensely strong and she assured me that they parted
amiccably with no hard feelings.

After a couple of days of seeing her I informed my Aquarian friend that I was
seeing her and that I liked her.He was very displeased with this revelation and
sulked the whole day,refusing to talk to me.I concluded that perhaps his parting
with this Cancerian woman was not as amiccable as she claimed; He was very angry
and said all sorts of nasty things to me.I decided that I valued him too much as
a friend and wasn't prepared to let a woman come between us and so I broke off
whatever prospects I had with the Cancer woman.
She didn't understand and I was kinda hurting because I really did like her.

2 years went by and she called me.She said that she was around town and hoped we
could meet up and chat.We did meet up and I had such a great time that I
flippantly suggested that we be friends which she agreed to.
A week later she came over to the flat and my Aquarian friend was around.I had
immediately told him about her calling and wanting to hang out the day she
called , so he was aware of what was going on between us.He told me that it
would be a bad idea if she and I decided to get together after what had
happened 2 years ago.I assured him that she had a boyfriend ( an Aries) and that
they were serious.

After the visit the Aquarian told me of how good she looked and how he still has
feelings for her;I was crushed once again because I realised that I also hadn't
completely gotten her out my mind.Once again I decided to step aside and let
him have a go at getting her back.He told me that they had a connection that
he wants to rekindle.He told me that the reason things didn't work out between
them was because he got cold feet,but he was ready willing and able now to give
it one more try.I was cringing when he said all this and told him to follow his
heart.

He went ahead and pursuid her but she gently rebuffed him until he got
frustrated and told me that he realy didn't think that she was all that special
and that the only reason he wanted to get with her was for the sex.I said
nothing all the while and continued my relationship with a Sag and trying not
to be jealous of what was going on.I realised that making the Cancerian a
platonic friend of mine was perhaps a very bad idea.I decided that maybe I
should tell her that the grass is still too wet for us to ever be playing
cricket.

This tuesday she came to see me and I was ready and willing to tell her exactly
what I thought.We talked about eveything under the sun:She talked about how
unhappy she was with the Aries guy,how difficult it is to find someone special
and we concurred on many topical issues.Eventually when she was about to leave
she started saying that she'll never give her heart out to somebody ever
again.I asked her who it was that broke her heart so much that she thought it
hopeless to find love.She was very roundabout for a long while before I asked
if my Aquarian friend was the one that broke her heart.
She answered that it wasn't him but me.She got very tearful and talked about how
she had fallen inlove with me and that even after all these years she hadn't
completely gotten over what happened between us.
I was also quite tearful at that moment and admitted that I still liked her very
much and than we ended up sharing a bed.

I didn't regret what happened but I told her that my friend was to be hurt by
all this.After she left I decided to tell him what had happened and thats when
he started getting physical with me.I know he is very hurt that she doesn't
feel the same way he feels for her.What can I do to make this all better,I care
for her so much and we just wont be able to stay away from each other.


me My Friend She
Sun: Sag Aquarius Cancer

Moon: Cancer Pisces Scorpio

Mercury: Capricorn Pisces Cancer

Venus: Scorpio Aquarius Gemini

Mars: Libra Pisces Scorpio

Oh yeah and my Sag girlfriend on the other hand is giving me space to make a
decision about what I want!!

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gert
Knowflake

Posts: 151
From: south africa
Registered: Sep 2004

posted March 22, 2006 09:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for gert     Edit/Delete Message
Just to clear things up.

Me

Sun: Sag
Moon:Cancer
Mercury:Capricorn
Venus:Scorpio
Mars:Libra

My Friend

Sun:Aquarius
Moon:Pisces
Mercury:Pisces
Venus:Aquarius
Mars:Pisces

She

Sub:Cancer
Moon:Scorpio
Mercury:Cancer
Venus:Gemini
Mars:Scorpio

There!!That looks much better.What do I do,please help!

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Mama Mia
Knowflake

Posts: 912
From:
Registered: Jun 2005

posted March 22, 2006 10:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mama Mia     Edit/Delete Message
WooooWWWW gert that is deeeepppp!!!! Ohhh I do not know what to tell you bc I am all for friends and I hate to do anything that would hurt them. But then I am a hopeless romantic and real big on TRUE LOVE and will knock down anything that gets in the way of that...Hmmmmm Follow your heart prolly seems triky to say.. I wish you the best luck with this possible, Maybe someone else will come along and shed some light,,,

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celticfyre
Knowflake

Posts: 334
From: VA,USA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted March 22, 2006 11:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for celticfyre     Edit/Delete Message
Oh wow Dude! some much water between all three of you no wonder feelings are DEEP I sympathize and empathize with you. I'm with Mama there Wish the best, sending you soem positive vibes to help you make your decision....at least your freind is giving you the time to make up your mind . All the best to you.

------------------
ML
~~~~~~~~~~~
"In my end is my beginning"
Mary,Queen of Scots

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Swerve
Knowflake

Posts: 630
From: London
Registered: Nov 2002

posted March 22, 2006 02:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Swerve     Edit/Delete Message
I gotta be honest with you here, she sounds kind of fickle to me. You two haven't got together yet and she seems to be able to talk about guys behind their backs and come off all innocent.

Plus you have a girlfriend and she has a boyfriend..baaaaaddd karma.

I personally have noticed these things happen a lot with best friends and girlfriends. I have been on both sides of the track but have NEVER pursued a relationship with a friends ex. It's a barrier that shouldn't be breached, and always leads to problems.

Also, it seems like the idea of the thing may be greater than the thing as well. So much anticipation involved it would have to be the love of a lifetime for it to maintain that feeling now.

I'm a Pisces and have Scorpio influences and I know how imagination and expectation can make something seem so much more beautiful than it actually is. Plus, with her track record (and Cancers have a way of always looking innocent in these things)I would say you are setting yourself up to be your friend after the initial buzz is over.

Be very careful here, all may not be as it seems. Hope this doesn't sound too judgemental, I can just relate to your situation so much.

Good luck either way, I hope all parties involved are happy in the end.

Swerve

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gert
Knowflake

Posts: 151
From: south africa
Registered: Sep 2004

posted March 23, 2006 07:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for gert     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks for the replys guys,they were much appreiated:

MamaMia:I know exactly what you mean but I think TRUE LOVE sshouldn't hurt other people and feel so painful that those who want to be together eventually feel guilty about their union.

celticfyre:We have a lot of water in all our charts.Looking at her and my friends chart they both are heavy Cancer and Pisces respectively.I on the other hand have major Pluto aspects and a heavy Scorpio chart.
My Sag girlfriend is Neptune influenced with heavy Capricorn.

Swerve: I actaully agree with you wholeheartedly.The thing is she earlier neglected to tell me that she slept with him when they were together.I had wondered what intense connection my friend had with her until I found out that they got intimate way before she and I met.

After much thinking and soul-searching,I've decided to choose my friend over her.I told her that it wouldn't work and after a very tearful argument,she accepted.
She says that we'll probably meet again and hopefully by then circumstances will be less painful.

Tthrough all of this drama my Sag girlfriend has been incredibly supportive and not resentful of my feelings for this cancer girl at all.She has assured me time and again that she is always willing to be the shoulder to cry on when things get heavy.I guess its the way that I have been open about the whole business.She is an amazing person though!!!

Thanks to everyone,bomb has been diffused!

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Swerve
Knowflake

Posts: 630
From: London
Registered: Nov 2002

posted March 23, 2006 03:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Swerve     Edit/Delete Message
Wow Gert!

Giving advice is easy. Taking it much harder. I applaud you and hope and think you made the right choice.

Your Sag sounds like an absolute angel! Just make sure you treasure her. Those ones are very very rare.

Good luck!

Swerve

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Lialei
Knowflake

Posts: 390
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

posted March 23, 2006 10:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lialei     Edit/Delete Message
Swerve,
she won't be treasured.
Such 'rare ones' never are.
Surely you are wise to this by now.
Were you treasured?
Would you treasure her...
truthfully?
She, your mirror, and yet still, would you realize that?
Would that occur to you, while you were searching beyond her?
You're intuitive, yet still, would you sense the proud and silent tears she hides away to herself?

gert, as a Sag woman, I can tell you that your Sag most likely cried heavy-hearted tears when no one was looking. I hope you care enough for her to wonder if she would have...and not take her understanding face value. Her understanding was a selfless gift to you, for caring for you beyond herself. Sag~freedom. She leaves it up to you to explore her depths. She hopes with all her heart you would want to, but leaves it up to you. With heavy sighs more each day that she realizes you aren't...eventually she walks away, too proud to endure it any longer.

Sorry to rain here...it's usually not my way.
What happens when Neptune finally emerges from the misty clouds, and sees the world's plight so clearly.


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BlueTopaz124
Knowflake

Posts: 746
From: Portland, OR
Registered: Jan 2004

posted March 23, 2006 11:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlueTopaz124     Edit/Delete Message
My initial instinct would be to watch this Cancer woman...and agree with what has been said already...she's appearing the hurt one and innocent (manipulative comes to mind)...playing you against your Aqua friend...Do not ever let anyone come between a friendship you value. I admire your wanting to stand by and allow your Aqua friend to get involved with her, but try not to say anything to him of your involvement with her, it only strains things between you. Let him find on his own whether she is someone he wants to be with or if it will work at all...that kind of involvement has already lost its innocence and feels tainted...but it seems as though you have things figured out already...

As for your Sag girlfriend...us Sags are that way and will step aside all the while our our heart is bleeding, standing by, ready as a friend...do not lose this woman, she may have cried many nights and smile in the sun to others, they;d never know how much her hearts hurt. Agree too, that she would walk away if disappointed too often or sees no sign of hope, surely as a fellow Sag you understand the value of hope?


That's a lot of collective water in those three charts - your moons are all trine in water

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sweetlibra
Knowflake

Posts: 1237
From:
Registered: Oct 2004

posted March 24, 2006 12:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweetlibra     Edit/Delete Message
Lialei well said..
Sadly such gals will never be treasured..!

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Swerve
Knowflake

Posts: 630
From: London
Registered: Nov 2002

posted March 24, 2006 04:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Swerve     Edit/Delete Message
Yes, I would indeed treasure her.

Swerve

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gert
Knowflake

Posts: 151
From: south africa
Registered: Sep 2004

posted March 24, 2006 05:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for gert     Edit/Delete Message
No need to worry about me treasuring her because I intend to.
Problem is that she has a Libra moon excatly square mine and both Pluto and Neptune square my sun.There are a lot of misundersatndings betweenus and at times I've evn thought that she is cheating.

My uranus is conjuct her sun though and my mars also conjuct her moon.Both her venus and mars conjuct my Pluto and her ascendant is exactly trine mine.

Here is the deal

Me

Asc:Taurus
Sun:Sag
Moon:Cancer
Mercury:Capricorn
Venus:Scorpio
Mars:Libra
Jupiter:Sag
Neptune:Sag
Saturn:Scorpio
Pluto:Scorpio
Uranus:Sag
North node:Gemini
Midheaven:Aquarius

She

Asc:Capricorn
Sun:Sag
Moon;Libra
Mercury:Scorpio
Venus:Scorpio
Mars:Scorpio
Jupiter:Capricorn
Neptune:Libra
Saturn:Gemini
Pluto:Libra
Uranus:Scorpio
North node:Capricorn
Midheaven:Virgo

The sex is great but I feel she still keeps an emotional distance from me.Don't know why though!

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Lialei
Knowflake

Posts: 390
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

posted March 24, 2006 10:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lialei     Edit/Delete Message
Sorry to imply that you wouldn't, Swerve.
The opposite is true, actually.

I've been with you, since the Gemini girl days (I was Heart&Soul then).
Most often a silent reader...sighing with you, applauding you, hoping for you...feeling for you.
I guess as crazy as it sounds, you've come to represent hope to me.
And of course, I wouldn't literally place that kind of heavy responsibility on you...
but it's because I believe that you, above most, would be one to treasure and cherish, things of beauty, more than others who would exploit or take them for granted.
If you weren't to...you...than what hope is there?
See? Crazy, I know.

gert, I cannot say for certain, of course, or speak for her, but it sounds as if she is guarding her heart.
With good reason, considering, wouldn't you think?
Yes, some of those are difficult placements, likely to supress open communication and expression. Venus and Mars conjunct Pluto? Wow...very karmic and meant to be.
Have you read Linda's description of Venus conjunct Pluto in Relationship Signs?:

"This aspect and in particular the conjunction, reveals the possibility of Soul Mates.
Soul Mates are fully absorbed in the other, and may experience extreme tension when your emotions can't be fully expressed. The sexual chemistry between you is magnetic and deep, and was so from your first meeting.

Especially with the conjunction, you will meet involuntarily, and cannot be seperated on Earth except for temporary periods. Not even death can separate you in the astral existance, because you will push into mutual flesh rebirth to be reunited. These are powerful karmic vibrations of love, the kind of relationship called 'love at first sight,' which is not a fable, but attributable to karma. When apart you both feel an inexpressible longing for one another, however much you may try to deny it for personal reasons. With the sextile or trine, if you choose to postpone union until another incarnation, your mutual feelings will nevertheless be intense. With the conjunction it's doubtful that you'll choose postponement. The anciant marriage ceremonial words, 'That which God hath joined together, let no man put asunder' apply to such lovers, not to all brides and grooms. Because such aspects are a precious gift from the Universe, and from the Higher Selves of the man and woman, they can't be taken lightly. They require deep meditation and thoughtful analysis."


Best wishes to you.

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gert
Knowflake

Posts: 151
From: south africa
Registered: Sep 2004

posted March 27, 2006 06:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for gert     Edit/Delete Message
The drama continues to unfold.I thought that I had dealt with the situation as
tactfully as I could but the chips continue to fall.

This weekend my group and I went out to the Poetry longe:Its a fanciful place
full of intellects and poetry gurus and what not.The idea was to kick back and
relax and just to have a good time.
The cast:Me (Sag boy),my best friend who was involved in the love triangle whom
I'll now refer to as Pisces mooner & his ex-girlfiend (Gemini),Another friend of
mine (Aquarian) and last but definately not least a new addition to our crew
:Aries.

We went to this place and as soon as we got there I saw her;the cancerian woman
who was involved in all the drama.She approached me and we talked,she told me
that she broke off with her boyfriend because it wasn't going anywhere and a
whole lot of other things.A couple of minutes later her friends dragged her back
to their circle and I went back to my friends.

During the night I got really drunk and my Aries friend was supplying all the
liqour.I had no intention to get so drunk but he was goading me on and well.... I fell hard and the liquor was flooding in.
I was feeling so good,so on top of the world,so free that I was friendly with
just about everyone at that place.

Now I am not a schemer or the type of guy who hurts other people so I didn't
understand where this suddenly came from:
My Pisces mooners ex-girlfriend(the gemini) was sad and down in the dumps-she
was jealous of the advances the Pisces mooner was making on another woman(an
aries)while we were there.I joked around with her and kinda tried to cheer her up about the whole thing and I guess my Pisces mooner friend saw me and flipped.

He immediately dashed over and threatened me to stay away from her:I was angry
and dissapointed at him.How could he think that I was making advances on his
ex? I needed to get away from there and went outside to defuse.A couple of
minutes later he came over(Pisces mooner) to apologise and said that he didn't
know where all that came from and that he was only joking and didn't mean
anything by it.I tried to shrug it off and went back inside to dance my bad
mood away.

An hour or so later,when I was still grooving with both my Aries and Aquarian
friends,the cancerain woman comes over and says that she is leaving.We exchange
hugs and a few laughs and she goes out her way.After her departure my Pisces
mooner friend comes over to me and says that he realised today that he never
really did love her:he tells me that he was just jealous and couldn't stand to
see that she was feeling for me what she failed to feel for him.He assured me
that if I still wanted her I could go for her as it is clear to him that we
realy dig each other.

I was so happy,and not to mention relieved and couldn't wait to call her.We left
the lounge and went back to the flat.When we got there,I sent her a couple of
messages and it was very late at night when she asked me to come over.I
immediately went to her place and we had an amazing night together.
In the morning I went back to the flat to be given yet another mouthful.
My Aries friend told me that my Pisces mooner friend was livid:Apparently the
woman he was flirting with was not into him but interested in me.
I was dumbfounded;suddenly out of nowhere I became Mr.Popular all in one night.
I shrugged it off as a joke until my Pisces mooner friend told me that he
didn't appreciate the way I flirted with the aries woman he was having a thing
for (I didn't even speak to her at all and didn't know who she was),he allso
told me that he had lied about being cool about me seeing the cancer woman.He
asked if we had sex while I was at her place and I told him that it was really
none of his business if we did.

The following day while I was breezing with my Aquarian buddy ,the Pisces mooner
sends me a message saying that he knows that I have deceived him.I told my
Aquarian friend about everything that happened and he said the most unexpected
and bizzare thing:"Your friend doesn't really care about any of the people that
you go out with.At first I thought that he was selfish and being very jealous
but then I noticed that as soon as you had left the flat last night,he was very
anxious and preoccupied.My guess is that he maybe inlove with you and doesn't know how to tell you."
I objected to the whole conclusion and said that my Pisces mooner friend is straight and that he has never been involved in a gay relationship.My aquarian buddy then replied "Love can be very strange!"

What?????
There can't be any truth to what he is saying right?


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sweetlibra
Knowflake

Posts: 1237
From:
Registered: Oct 2004

posted March 27, 2006 06:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sweetlibra     Edit/Delete Message
Gosh! gert, that was my first feeling when I read your initial post!!!

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gert
Knowflake

Posts: 151
From: south africa
Registered: Sep 2004

posted March 27, 2006 09:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for gert     Edit/Delete Message
Well according to www.starlightastrology.com this is how I and the cancer woman match up:

" This is a case where both should enter this relationship wearing boxing gloves and be prepared to use them, as both of them will have to absolutely love fighting as rows and agruments are sure to flourish. Cancer must be prepared to come out of his/her shell and live life to the fullest and not spend any time in lying around in a sulk.

Sagittarius will expect Cancer to follow along with his/her ideas and very active social life joining in as much fun (Sagittarius' idea of fun!) as possible. On occassions when Cancer has had it and wishes to stay home, put the feet up, and watch television, Sagittarius will try to talk Cancer into accompanying him/her. Should this fail, Sagittarius will go out alone and find 'other' excitement.

Sagittarius is a man full of charm and believes his/her freedom to be all important, and should Cancer take offense, or display a jealous reaction, then Sagittarius will start to feel as though he/she made a serious mistake in choosing Cancer in the first place. Cancers loving, nurturing ways are what drew Sagittarius; it is not enough to keep him or her true.

Sexually, Sagittarius is very active, and as a rule Cancer is easily satisfied. This can leave Sagittarius feeling let down and depressed and unfulfilled, which in turn will send him/her searching for a new partner. This is not a recommended union, and it is not a match made in Heaven."

I can't say that it gives me much hope of any long-term prospects but then again according to this site Sagittarrians are lustful,commitment-phobic people that don't gel well with any other signs except Aries and Leo.

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Lialei
Knowflake

Posts: 390
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

posted March 27, 2006 10:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lialei     Edit/Delete Message
gert, you have a Cancer Moon, right?

Why would you look to Sun-Sign astrology for answers?

Well, enough on treasuring it seems...

You're young. You are following your heart.
It will bring you understanding in your own time. Listen to your heart, remain aware to quiet truths, deeper than what easily appears to be.

Just...don't begin to believe in what you read about Sags. It's probably the most misrepresented sign. One of them anyway.

Swerve, my words to you, as always were kind, but recent notice of your views on Sagittarius might have somewhat shattered my image of your sensitivity.


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Swerve
Knowflake

Posts: 630
From: London
Registered: Nov 2002

posted March 27, 2006 11:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Swerve     Edit/Delete Message
Huh? What views on Saggies?

Is it an old post or something?

Let me know so I can explain myself.

Swerve

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Lialei
Knowflake

Posts: 390
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

posted March 27, 2006 11:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lialei     Edit/Delete Message
"Oh God, not what I wanted to hear (especially number 1). Plus I'm flirting with a Gemini and sometime dating an Aries. No wonder it's all going so well. I'm just missing the Sag to put the icing
on the misery."

There have been others here and there...but
doesn't matter.
I can see how you didn't mean anything by it.
Didn't mean to be judgemental
or single you out.
Just not the best of times...and sometimes this isn't the place to be browsing when you're feeling particularly sensitive or vulnerable.
Me ~not you.

You're obviously a good heart.



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Swerve
Knowflake

Posts: 630
From: London
Registered: Nov 2002

posted March 27, 2006 12:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Swerve     Edit/Delete Message
Lialei, I was joking because these were the ones I was supposed to not get on with in regard to that topic. It was NEVER serious, and not talking about any person. Sheesh...

Besides, let me explain I am NO angel. I'm not sure I would want that burden. I do appreciate your kind words though.


Swerve

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Lialei
Knowflake

Posts: 390
From:
Registered: Jul 2005

posted March 27, 2006 02:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lialei     Edit/Delete Message
Yes, I see you were going by the test results.

I said above~ "I guess as crazy as it sounds, you've come to represent hope to me.
And of course, I wouldn't literally place that kind of heavy responsibility on you..."

I knew as I was typing, that it wasn't a fair burden to place. We are all, after all, just finding our way.

Thank you.

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