double trouble gemini
Registered: Dec 2005
posted October 20, 2006 06:26 AM
i am having a little problem here..
recently i decided to go back to my x aqua because he keeps showing me how much he still loves me, we have known eachother for 8 years, we broke up 3 years back but he wont leave me , he keeps saying how much he loves me and how very much he wants to get me back, he has changed in some ways to show he really wants me back... my love for him is not 'i love you' kind of a thing its just very general ,like what i feel for my family (he is well aware of this). i care deeply for him and dont want to hurt him i decided to get back with him because he never dated anyone else even after our break up, he had been so faithful that sometimes i felt guilty for leaving him.
during this long period of me knowing him, he never felt attracted to any female as in he never seriously wanted to be freinds with any girl.. except 2 years back when we were doing a computer course together there was another female student that he did show a slight interest in.after a few months i left the course due to my working hours and to my surprise i came to know (i spied on him )that my aqua and this girl have become good friends .i was shocked as this was a guy who told me he was never that intrested in girls , his brother,friends and family are all well aware of the fact that he never had a single female friend during our relationship as he didnt feel the need to..
i confronted him on this matter as to why didnt he simply tell me if they were friends? i tell him everything but why was he hiding things? to this he lost his temper,he shouted at me abusing and blaming me for our past broken relationship and was very upset with me, he altogether denied being more that class mates with her... however during those days he behaved in a strange manner and avoided leaving his cell phone with me at any time, he wasnt like this before.i got a chance and i checked his cell and discovered they had even exchanged numbers.. i even read a few of her messages in his mobile and his comforting replies to her.
2 years past this incedent and i let it go thinking that it wasnt anything more than a casual friendship, he keept showing me that he only loves me, i believed him but i keept getting these weird dreams about him that he is a flirt and i would make a big mistake if i accepted his suggestion of continuing our relationship again. these dreams were very disturbing but i relaxed my mind and keept telling myself 'if he didnt love me he could have been with anyone he wanted... but he is still with me'.
now our relationship has grown more intimate and we are quite close to eachother. he is still doing the computer course with the same girl.
recently i dreamnt of the same girl and in my dream i saw that he eventually leaves me for her and he always wanted her but could not get her because i was stopping him, i was like an emotional block between them. this was a very disturbing dream it left me thinking but then i directed my flow of thoughts in another angle in which i said to myself i dont believe in these dreams, dreams are only to fool me from the truth that is in front of me.. i cannot and will not change what i feel for him because of these dreams, i know he is honest, faithfull and loving that is the truth and nothing can change his love for me.'
yesterday i had the worst of all dreams, i dreamt that i should spy on him , if i dont i would be the one to lose.. if i do spy on him i will discover that he is a cheat, a liar.. he will betray me in future for the same girl, i should not accuse him of anything at this point but i should just spy on him and i will surely discover things that i could never have imagined.. things that i was avoiding to see in real life. he isnt as faithfull as i think and i should be ready for a major heart break if i choose to avoid this dream!..
this dream was more like a warning to me, the dreams before this were little indications that he was not as faithfull as i thought but this dream was much more stronger and like a message it was warning me to look into this matter right away or else i will suffer a major blow emotionaly, i would be emotionaly shattered if i keept going on with this relationship without precautions.
what would you do?
(i have also posted in realm of dreams to understand these dreams better)