posted April 08, 2013 09:10 PM
Sorry if this is long, but I am in MAJOR need of advice. Please Please Please help!!!
2 years ago I met a cancer man (I am a cancer woman). There was an instant attraction that was clearly mutual and he pursued heavily. After a few months, he made if very clear he liked me and told me he wanted me to meet his family. I unfortunately had just gone through a really bad break up only a few months earlier and wasnít ready to go down the serious relationship road. I told him I couldnít talk to him anymore, did not give him a reason (again I'm a cancer it's hard for me to talk about my feelings) and cut off all contact. I did not want to do this and it made me very sad, but it was something I had to do for my own well-being.
A few months after I cut contact he found me on Facebook and we started talking through FB. I told him I missed him to which he replied that hearing me say that ďput a smile on his faceĒ. He would ask me what I was doing once every few weeks, but we never got together again. I still needed time to get over my last relationship and just seeing pictures of him stirred up too much emotion for me (again Iím a cancer). I couldnít even look at him on FB without wanting to be around him and I knew it was not something I could do at the time, so I de-friended him from FB again giving no reason. (It hurt but I had to)
Fast forward 2 years. I moved past everything that was previously holding me back, started a new job, was spending a lot of time with friends when suddenly the cancer man popped into my head and I couldnít stop thinking about him. So this time I went and found him on Facebook. He seemed happy and very surprised to hear from me and we decided to get together. A week later I went to his house. He was very polite and sweet and we ended up spending the night together (for the first time). But since then I feel like heís no longer interested. Heíll do the cancer push and pull thing with meÖsometimes he asks me what Iím doing and sees if I want to get together with him, but then a month will go by and he wont contact me. Then suddenly he'll reappear again. Itís definitely different from 2 years ago. I feel like Iím chasing him, even though Iím really not that much, but being a cancer woman anytime I have to text a guy first I feel like Iím chasing. He acts hypersensitive with me through texts and has said heís scared with meÖbut then he will turn around and REALLY start acting like heís not interested in me a week later (which is something he NEVER would have done 2 years ago).
SO, Iím wondering if he is just being really, really cautious with me this time around, because I donít have a good track record with him (none of which Iíve explained even though I want to) or does it sound like he is just no longer interested? Should I start chasing him and show him I really am interested and here to stay this time or should I let him come to me (assuming he ever will). Any thoughts would be very much appreciated! Thank you Thank you Thank you