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Author Topic:   Capricorn man from falling in love to ignoring me in 2 days
Sephora
Newflake

Posts: 15
From: Germany
Registered: Sep 2013

posted September 24, 2013 12:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sephora     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi everyone,

I am from Germany, so please excuse language faults I am making. I came to this board when dealing with a passion of mine and that is astrology. Usually, I am helping friends with their birth chart, but now I am in serious need of help myself with a guy I met some time ago.

I (Scorpio with moon in Capricorn and AS in Leo) met a younger guy (Capricorn with moon in Gemini and AS in Capricorn) and we had quite some fun. For both of us it was clear the it was only a loose connection and no relationship, but it seemed like he got attached more and more between the first and the second date. After the second date he wrote enthusiastic and very emotional text messages (not the usual 'was nice having fun with you', but 'so happy can't wait to see you again!) only 2 hours after he had left. It was not only one or two, but three messages. So, I was looking forward to the next date because those messages touched me and my heart. 4 days before the next date, he canceled, telling me that he had no time for a date. We agreed on meeting the week next. I had a bad feeling and it came true. The next week he told me that he had to work all Saturdays from now on, the soccer season had started too, so on Sundays he had to play soccer in his soccer club.
I felt really bad and asked what went wrong. He told me that it had nothing to do with me, but with heavy work load and as we were not living in the same city, he didn't know how to handle this. Unfortunately, as my nature it is, I made several suggestions how to anyway, but he said this would be too stressful and maybe we shouldn't meet again because he had not the time available I would like to have.
Actually, I was shocked.
Making a long story short, we agreed on meeting again, but he couldn't tell me when. Since that day the contact between us ran low. Some days ago when he ignored me in the chatroom, I couldn't take it anymore, got on the phone and called him what was wrong.
He told me that I would be reading to much into this and that I would be thinking too much. Everything would be fine, everythings ok between us. The chat just didn't showed me being online and he was having just too much stress right now not being in the mood for long chats, messages or alike.

Now, usually I would say 'he is just not into me' and maybe was drunken when he wrote the text messages or just changed his mind when there wouldn't be three things:
1. Until beginning of this year, he had been in a relationship with a woman he wanted to marry this year, but she dumped him. From his talking I know he is not at all over this.
2. Sometimes he seems to switch personalities like being schizophrenic from enthustiastic, friendly and openly talking to being stressed out, restless and emotionally blocked.
3. When he left after the second date he took the cardigan I wore that evening with him alledgedly unintentionally and left his deodorant. He told me he would leave it here so that he didn't have to bring it along all the time and because I shouldn't forget his smell.

Our synastry looked quite good I though, but now I don't know what to do. Giving him space, forgetting about him, keeping the contact alive myself. I wrote him that I would not give him up and leave him only because it is a bit complicated to understand him and his behaviour and that I am there for him, but as I am only a human being and a Scorpio as well, I can't just sit still and wait because his behaviour hurts and there is nothing worse for me than being ignored (my parents used that in my childhood as punishment for bad school grades).

These are his synastry aspects (inner wheel me, outer him):

Saturn Conjunction Jupiter Orb 017'
Saturn Conjunction Mercury Orb 049'
MC Conjunction Mercury Orb 056'
MC Conjunction Jupiter Orb 127'
AS Conjunction Moon Orb 216'
Saturn Conjunction Sun Orb 352'
MC Conjunction Venus Orb 428'
MC Conjunction Sun Orb 538'
Saturn Conjunction Venus Orb 613'
Mercury Conjunction Moon Orb 655'
Neptune Conjunction Moon Orb 837'
Mars Conjunction Sun Orb 901'
Pluto Conjunction Sun Orb 907'
Jupiter Conjunction Moon Orb 925'
MC Opposite MC Orb 047'
Saturn Opposite MC Orb 058'
Lilith Opposite AS Orb 114'
Chiron Opposite Neptune Orb 129'
MC Opposite Saturn Orb 259'
Saturn Opposite Saturn Orb 445'
Jupiter Square Pluto Orb 017'
AS Square Uranus Orb 023'
Chiron Square AS Orb 104'
Neptune Square Pluto Orb 105'
Lilith Square Neptune Orb 118'
AS Square Mars Orb 131'
Mercury Square Pluto Orb 247'
Chiron Trine Pluto Orb 021'
Moon Trine Uranus Orb 056'
Moon Trine Mars Orb 059'
Jupiter Trine AS Orb 143'
Neptune Trine AS Orb 231'
Mercury Trine AS Orb 413'
Node Trine Uranus Orb 414'
Sun Trine Pluto Orb 427'
Sun Trine Saturn Orb 432'
AS Trine MC Orb 514'
AS Sextile Sun Orb 022'
Uranus Sextile Uranus Orb 044'
Uranus Sextile Mars Orb 240'
Sun Sextile Venus Orb 303'
Node Inconjunction Jupiter Orb 004'
Lilith Inconjunction Pluto Orb 010'
Node Inconjunction Mercury Orb 026'
Moon Inconjunction Sun Orb 055'
Venus Inconjunction MC Orb 111'
Moon Inconjunction Moon Orb 143'
Neptune SemiSquare Jupiter Orb 026'
Mercury SemiSquare Mercury Orb 043'
Neptune SemiSquare Mercury Orb 057'
Mercury SesquiQuadrate MC Orb 034'
Neptune SesquiQuadrate MC Orb 107'
Node Quintile AS Orb 002'
Sun Quintile Sun Orb 110'
Node BiQuintile Sun Orb 145'
Neptune SemiSextile Neptune Orb 002'
Node SemiSextile MC Orb 036'
Uranus SemiSextile Sun Orb 045'
Jupiter SemiSextile Neptune Orb 050'

These are my synastry aspects (inner wheel him, outer me):
Jupiter Conjunction Saturn Orb 017'
Mercury Conjunction Saturn Orb 049'
Mercury Conjunction MC Orb 056'
Jupiter Conjunction MC Orb 127'
Moon Conjunction AS Orb 216'
Sun Conjunction Saturn Orb 352'
Venus Conjunction MC Orb 428'
Sun Conjunction MC Orb 538'
Venus Conjunction Saturn Orb 613'
Moon Conjunction Mercury Orb 655'
Moon Conjunction Neptune Orb 837'
Sun Conjunction Mars Orb 901'
Sun Conjunction Pluto Orb 907'
Moon Conjunction Jupiter Orb 925'
MC Opposite MC Orb 047'
MC Opposite Saturn Orb 058'
Saturn Opposite MC Orb 259'
Saturn Opposite Saturn Orb 445'
Pluto Square Jupiter Orb 017'
Uranus Square AS Orb 023'
Pluto Square Neptune Orb 105'
Mars Square AS Orb 131'
Pluto Square Mercury Orb 247'
Uranus Trine Moon Orb 056'
Mars Trine Moon Orb 059'
AS Trine Jupiter Orb 143'
Lilith Trine Sun Orb 201'
Node Trine Pluto Orb 213'
Node Trine Mars Orb 219'
AS Trine Neptune Orb 231'
AS Trine Mercury Orb 413'
Pluto Trine Sun Orb 427'
Saturn Trine Sun Orb 432'
MC Trine AS Orb 514'
Node Sextile Neptune Orb 004'
Sun Sextile AS Orb 022'
Node Sextile Jupiter Orb 043'
Uranus Sextile Uranus Orb 044'
Node Sextile Mercury Orb 146'
Mars Sextile Uranus Orb 240'
Venus Sextile Sun Orb 303'
Chiron Sextile Moon Orb 345'
Sun Inconjunction Moon Orb 055'
MC Inconjunction Venus Orb 111'
Moon Inconjunction Moon Orb 143'
Jupiter SemiSquare Neptune Orb 026'
Mercury SemiSquare Mercury Orb 043'
Mercury SemiSquare Neptune Orb 057'
MC SesquiQuadrate Mercury Orb 034'
MC SesquiQuadrate Neptune Orb 107'
Chiron Quintile Sun Orb 008'
Node Quintile Venus Orb 036'
Sun Quintile Sun Orb 110'
Neptune SemiSextile Neptune Orb 002'
Sun SemiSextile Uranus Orb 045'
Neptune SemiSextile Jupiter Orb 050'

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 33328
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 25, 2013 12:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Welcome! Try posting this in Personal Readings also.

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Mystic Melody
Moderator

Posts: 626
From: IL
Registered: Dec 2010

posted September 25, 2013 05:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mystic Melody     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Sephora

Men need to take a step back, a step away from you when they become really close and start to feel powerful emotions. If you can stay cool and strong and not too emotional during the time they are away, they begin to miss you and come back. If you chase after them and become an emotional wreck, they start to wonder if they can handle you and if they can handle your emotional needs. You have to step away and take care of yourself for awhile. When you start to feel better and have been having some fun with friends and getting back to your old self, THEN send him a short and friendly/flirty message. Then just go back to your life and if he feels a connection, he'll be back eventually.

I know it's hard. Stay strong. Prayer helps.

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Sephora
Newflake

Posts: 15
From: Germany
Registered: Sep 2013

posted September 25, 2013 06:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sephora     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you so much for your nice words.

Yes, well, as a scorpio I am really impatient and it is hard for me not knowing what is wrong or what is going on, but that is what I thought first. 'Give him time.'
Actually, this is what I am doing right now giving him time and it is really hard. I guess you can understand that suddenly days feel like weeks and weeks like months

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cappy1277
Moderator

Posts: 1712
From: philadelphia,pa
Registered: Jul 2009

posted September 25, 2013 07:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cappy1277     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
He's a capricorn with gemini moon like me...sometimes we want the intensity & get it then need a few days to recover alone. It's hard on frivolous lighthearted moon to be so passionate about something. And yes...we are moody.

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Sephora
Newflake

Posts: 15
From: Germany
Registered: Sep 2013

posted September 27, 2013 05:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sephora     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, at the moment he is ignoring me completely even though he told me everything is fine. No contact at all and that starts driving me crazy and he knows that this drives me crazy. Staying cool and keeping calm gets more difficult every single day. And it hurts

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Randall
Webmaster

Posts: 33328
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 27, 2013 01:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Welcome!

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Sephora
Newflake

Posts: 15
From: Germany
Registered: Sep 2013

posted September 27, 2013 03:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sephora     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi!

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Haplesschild*
Knowflake

Posts: 1037
From:
Registered: Nov 2012

posted September 28, 2013 04:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Haplesschild*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
But you've only been on two dates...

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Sephora
Newflake

Posts: 15
From: Germany
Registered: Sep 2013

posted September 28, 2013 05:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sephora     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sure, but we did not only spend a few hours together, but each time the whole weekend. For me it feels like 4 dates or even more.

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hannaramaa
Knowflake

Posts: 5751
From:
Registered: Nov 2011

posted September 28, 2013 08:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hannaramaa     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Haplesschild*:
But you've only been on two dates...

Lol this is what I was thinking too.

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Sephora
Newflake

Posts: 15
From: Germany
Registered: Sep 2013

posted September 28, 2013 08:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sephora     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

Have you ever met somebody you felt comfortable with right at the very first moment like you have known him or her for years? That was the feeling I had after some minutes and he told me to have the same feeling. We talked for hours, well... he talked for hours like an old friend. It just felt so... right. Even more after the second date. I would have never ever imagined that it would develope like this .

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Sephora
Newflake

Posts: 15
From: Germany
Registered: Sep 2013

posted October 07, 2013 05:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sephora     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I only wanted you to inform you of the outcome of my story:

After weeks of waiting and not having contact with him, I tried to get an answer to why he is ignoring me.
Some days ago, he wrote to me that he has a new girlfriend even though he told me before that he was not looking for a relationship and that he would contact me via Facebook. I should not call him or get in touch with him.

Not only because he had put me on hold for weeks, not telling me anything or giving me the tiniest clue of what was going on or even giving me the chance to move on, but also I was so hurt as I had trusted him and his words, I told him that it wouldn't be that easy for him to get out of this as those are things you don't tell anybody via any messenger, chat, mail system or whatever, but personally.

The last message I got was through and through mean and unfair. Now, in his belief, I am the problem because I am so persistant and I would not know the meaning of the word 'affair' (what obviously means in a man's world that man can do everything he wants and uses the woman as he likes and the woman has no right to ask any questions about it because that's what happened). Not a word about the dress he took with him and about several other things.

Now, I am shocked deeply by this outcome, but I wanted to share it with you.

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Odette
Knowflake

Posts: 2692
From:
Registered: May 2012

posted October 07, 2013 07:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Odette     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm sorry this happened. His behaviour is very schizophrenic.
I mean many people have affairs - but sending you all those messages after the event, and taking your clothes with him - and leaving his perfume for when he comes back :\
It's odd.

Could you post your synastry chart?

I know he is a Capricorn but this behaviour is pretty un-characteristic of the sign.
I'm sensing a weak Mars placement - like a mutable Mars or Mars in detriment... or maybe retrograde.

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Sephora
Newflake

Posts: 15
From: Germany
Registered: Sep 2013

posted October 07, 2013 08:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sephora     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you for your answer. I am also quite shocked about all of this and the outcome now. For me this doesn't make any sense at all because he could have easily tell me to just go away and I would have been gone. He knew that I only needed one clear message, but he instead ignored and obviously lied to me the whole time.

This is my synastry chart (me inside):

And this his (him inside):

Chiron, Lilith and Vesta are retrograde.

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Mystic Melody
Moderator

Posts: 626
From: IL
Registered: Dec 2010

posted October 07, 2013 06:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mystic Melody     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sephora, this book is not for everyone but I think you might benefit from the book, "Mars and Venus on a Date" by John Gray

If you read it from the perspective of Masculine energy is from Mars and Feminine Energy is from Venus (understanding that both men and women are made up of different combinations of these energies... like I'm a Libra which is a masculine sign but my emotional response/Moon is in Capricorn, a feminine sign etc) then it might help you understand why getting really intimate, or sleeping with a man early on might cause him to back away and no longer feel attraction to you even though he initially approached you with extreme romantic fervor/passion.

The book shares stories of many women that are just like yours and explains what happened and how to approach things differently in order to make things work with the man who left or if that is not possible or desired, to make things work better with the next person.

In addition... Capricorn men, in my limited experience, are EXTREMELY traditional and might be the worst for looking for a "good girl" (meaning one who won't have sex right away). His moon in Gemini and Venus in Sag crave variety and new conquests and his Mars in Scorpio can make any woman feel like she is the only woman in the world and that he sees right into her soul... especially when he is trying to get them into bed.

The way to a man's heart is


TIME.

You can get to his brain and his lust in no time but MOST men aren't as in touch with their (feminine) moon/emotions and it takes time to for them to trust that what they feel isn't some passing delusional feeling created by lust or your womanly wiles/skills. They need concrete experiences with you of genuine joy and fun and happiness and connection over the span of time so they can honestly trust you and their own feelings. Trust is Love to a man.

To a woman (feminine person), Love is primarily about Caring.
For a man (masculine person), Love is primarily about Trust.

Caring can be instant. Trust takes time.

That's really all there is to it.

I know it is hard to slow down when it feels so right and meant to be.... sometimes people only go a few dates and then have sex and it leads to being together every minute possible and getting married and having a child that is meant to be even if the relationship is not meant to last. I am not against women fully expressing their sexuality... just reminding women that intimate sex does not create an "instant relationship" for most men/masculine people, but the emotion it evokes in most feminine people does create that feeling of instant pair bond.


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Sephora
Newflake

Posts: 15
From: Germany
Registered: Sep 2013

posted October 08, 2013 03:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sephora     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I understand what you're saying, but actually it was never meant to be a relationship in the first place, but only an affaire and he got very emotional after the second date, so after we had sex for several times.

I am not quite sure if this is really the reason for his odd behavior...

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sugarflapjacks
Knowflake

Posts: 64
From: southeasternseaboard
Registered: Sep 2013

posted October 08, 2013 05:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sugarflapjacks     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Sephora:
I understand what you're saying, but actually it was never meant to be a relationship in the first place, but only an affaire and he got very emotional after the second date, so after we had sex for several times.

I am not quite sure if this is really the reason for his odd behavior...


So you are ok with just having an affair with this man knowing it will lead to nowhere, but now that it has led to nowhere, you are unhappy? No offense, I'm confused as why you say him ignoring you hurts, him getting a girlfriend hurts, and him wanting to cut if off hurts, because you say:
quote:
Originally posted by Sephora:
actually it was never meant to be a relationship in the first place, but only an affaire"
I'm missing something here.

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Sephora
Newflake

Posts: 15
From: Germany
Registered: Sep 2013

posted October 08, 2013 05:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sephora     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oops sorry, yes, this was only because I left something out to write.

Actually, it was meant to be an affair. But after the second date and his text messages, I developed feelings for him. It just seemed to fit perfectly and I don't know why, but for me it felt like an affair developed to a friendship/relationship.
And that is because I am now feeling hurt. Can't switch my feelings on and off.

Sorry I forgot to write this.

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Haplesschild*
Knowflake

Posts: 1037
From:
Registered: Nov 2012

posted October 16, 2013 06:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Haplesschild*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
It was TWO dates >.<

Feels like he only said certain things to get you to sleep with him, which you did.


Probably best to slow down next time and not believe everything you hear hun.

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