posted January 02, 2014 10:45 AM
I guess that to heal, we need to find out why we are attached or what really is hurting us. We can distract ourselves from the issues, but without really dealing with the issues we might not be truly healing.
Sometimes the strong desire of being with someone can be related to self worth. Or the inability to accept it can be related to giving too much misplaced importance on a certain relationship possibility. We grow up being brainwashed that we need relationships, everyone has them, it has to have happy ending and being recipocred to truly matter, and so on, that it might make us being too fixated on it.
If this is the case, then by experiencing and understand life that is beyond this image of romance might be what one is needed to overcome the pain. It's not that we can all be joyful right after a break up or heart break, but if we are too fixated on it for too long then it's coz we focus too much on them.
But this journey in life, to find other important things and beautiful things beyond this image of love, is not easy, and it's personal and unique for different people. Some might realize that to love is not to be fixated on someone but to be able to let go while appreciating that the other is alive and exists, some might realize that there is so much to live and love besides partnership love, some might realize that life is so beautiful and worth of living at its fullest and to enjoy the smallest things, some might find their calling in different areas of life like servicing for greater good, and so on.
When we lose someone or never even had a chance to be with them, it's true that we would never love someone else the same. Each love and individual is unique after all. But then we just don't know if someone else might appear, and we would actually fall in love too.
Personally, I see everyone as people who are on different journeys of life. I also believe in reincarnation. So we are all in different journeys, sometimes we are meant to cross paths and sometimes we separate. And it's really a beautiful thing, when we come to realize what it means to love and feel affeciton for someone beyond romantic notion of love. My astrology teacher said that we are meant to meet each other and form relationships through different lives, even if the nature of the relationships can vary; and then when are meant to reach the ultimate level, of being able to love each other purely (without desire of possession, wishing each other well - this does not mean to let oneself be abused of course, since that is also not actually unconditional love), which is when we don't have negative karmic debts with each other anymore.