posted March 05, 2014 04:15 PM
This is my first post so bare with me. And if this get really long, I apologize in advance. Right know I just don't get me or much else!
My chart is as follows:
Sun Capricorn 6.41
Ascendant Leo 12.54
Moon Taurus 12.54
Mercury Sagittarius 23.27
Venus Aquarius 7.44
Mars Virgo 13.26
Jupiter Virgo 10.15 R
Uranus Scorpio 23.54
Neptune Sagittarius 20.50
Saturn Virgo 26.57
Pluto Libra 21.35
Lilith Virgo 19.10
Asc node Virgo .38
II Leo 24.20
III Virgo 18.58
IV Libra 20.07
V Scorpio 26.54
VI Capricorn 3.11
VII Aquarius 4.12
VIII Aquarius 24.20
IX Pisces 18.58
Mid Heaven Aries 20.70
XI Taurus 26.54
XII Cancer 3.11
I am an odd place in life. I am having trouble understanding myself and what is going on. My personal life, health and career are riddled with confusion!
I am finding myself attracted to, thinking about, even dreaming about men that normally I wouldn't be even give two looks.
The first guy is a Gemini and HONESTLY I don't think he really even notices me. But, then again, I have never understood Gemini's!
(I had a relationship with one 10 years ago and it was odd. We barely ever talked. Talking was just so damn awkward between us. So, basically we hooked up on weekends if we didn't have anyone else. Then 5 years down the road he confessed his unending love and I, of course, high tail it out of there. I could not be in a relationship like that for the rest of my life and I really didn't get where he was coming from. We really didn't know each other)
I digress, in regards to the Gemini I like from work, one minute we are joking, having fun and talking about life, work and all our common interests and then an hour later, I am just another person to him. Like the other day, we were talking about movies and I said (with a smile on my lips and laugh in my voice) “You might just be my new best friend if you let me borrow that movie. But if not, it’s cool, I have enough friends.” Obviously a joke! But after that, Complete Radio Silence! Now, he is even having his assistant contact me instead of him. Really? Bizarre? Right? And I also feel like he has a lady “friend”, from before I came back into his life, that he sees when he is at his other home. (Typical Gemini) He never says a thing to me about it, he just gets shifty once in awhile. Call it woman’s intuition. And the strangest thing of all is I am already having a relationship with him, literally, in my dreams! Nightly! It Sucks! (I have always had telling dreams but the interpretation sometimes takes a while to hit me)
Just an FYI: My Sun trines his Venus, Mars, Saturn and Mid-Heaven big time and falls in his 5th house. His Lilith (Leo) is my AC and in my 2nd house. My Lilith (Virgo) falls in his 2nd house. My Pluto conjuncts his Pluto and textiles his Neptune. The only negative aspects we have are pretty big, my Venus (Aquarius) squares his Mars, Venus and Mid-Heaven and it is Opposition to his Jupiter.
(Another interesting note, he randomly kissed me once years ago, after a few drinks and it was never spoke of again. – We did lose touch for a few years but now he is back in my life and I feel obsessed.)
But then if I am away from him for a few days my “obsession” dies down to a “I don’t even think I am really attracted to him” or “I don’t think I really care”. Then I see him and BAM!
And the other guy is really just not my type… but still I find him interesting and do some cyber creeping. FYI my Lilith (Virgo ) is all over his chart and his AC (Virgo) is all over my chart. (we also have some really nasty positioning like my Pluto Opposition his Saturn) There is also something about him that says danger but he is the nicest guy! Weird! Honestly, I just may not want him because he is into me or maybe I find him interesting because he is into me…. I am just so screwed up!
A few months back, I got out of a really long term relationship with a man (Piesce) who I could finally really commit myself to and I thought was "the one". He broke up with me basically because he felt I was ignoring his needs and I thought everything was fine. I am normally pretty perceptive. It is like I have been living in a fog for a long time.
Suddenly I feel like I am complicated when I always thought I was straight forward. *Silly Me! I really want a full life with "the one", but I feel like my chart destines me to be on my own. Can anyone help? I feel like if I don't get me, how can anyone else.
In closing,I feel like I have never met anyone like me! The older I get the more trouble I am having connecting with people in general. I have always had a plenty of good people, friends and lovers, in my life and now I suddenly feel alone. I feel like I just come off as a “know it all” when I am just trying to have a conversation. I want people to see how much fun I really am... I have been told I intimidate people, but I think that is just a lame excuse people give when they don't want to tell me the truth.
Certainly, I don't take it as a compliment!
Well, that was a total brain dump! Sorry I have rambled on... It is not like me, but I just can't seem to focus lately.
Does anyone out there know or are themselves a Cappy with a Leo Ascending and Aquarius in Venus? Or can anyone just help me better understand me?
Thank You!!! XO
Lil’ Miss Impeded By My Independence
“Never hide things from hardcore thinkers. They get more aggravated, more provoked by confusion than the most painful truths.”