posted June 19, 2014 05:04 AM
"Is he angry with you for some reasons and wants to take it out on you?"
That is an interesting thought. Maybe he actually *is* angry with me. Maybe I am readng too much into it, but it could be that my presence led him to say something that he now regrets, as I am sure his girlfriend was not amused. She did not look amused.
We are of course not in a relationship, there is hardly a connection at all.
" Going through a difficult time in the relationship. Hardships and having to bear them. Is it correct? "
He is a local actor I have seen on stage some times over the last years. And now and then there seems to have been some sort of "connection", we also have exchanged a few words, but very rarely, over the course of the last 6 years or so. lol
Once he even addressed me in his show and was teasing me (but i was acting as if having a stick up my backside. lol)
I think I do have a crush on him. :sighs: But it all was very vague, despite the rare occasions of chatting, things were kept very vague and without admitting we "knew" each other. We would even be able to ignore each other and ban any kind of recognition, while standing right in front of each other.
It was SO weird.
Well, I admit that probably I was the one starting the elusive, evasive behaviour, but i just couldn`t wrap my head around that he really might recognize me, that i had left some kind of impression on him.
By now it is of course too late, him having a girlfriend who is highly pregnant.
What happened though is that not only the usual eye-contact happened last friday on his concert, but there was a certain scene that felt ultra-intense, because he was blatantly staring at me, to be honest. Though I always always always think of my perception as a delusional one and fantasy.
However shortly after that he started to really mess up things in his show, including forgetting to sing - in the middle of a song!.
He just fell silent, sat there, looking into my direction, and looked so reflecting (and not very happy). Luckily he would have had to sing only the refrain, so it did not ruin the song, but his duetpartner was a little surprised.
AFter that he also messed up various lines.
Now I would NEVER think of myself as having anything to do with it.
But after the break his colleague came with him on stage, and was glimpsing at his notepad. He usually claims to only write on there to remember to breathe. Which he apparently did that night, too.
But the colleagues suddenly started chuckling and saying he had to read that loud to the audience.
What he read out loud was that this actor had written that the lady in the 2nd row to the right side was driving him completely crazy,to the extent he totally messed up his lines before.
The audience laughed, I started to, until I realized that actually I was sitting on that seat.
Now of course it was a joke, but he was acting strangely. He didn`t laugh, and he kept his face averted, as if he wanted avoid looking at me (and his girlfriend who was sitting int he audience, too btw, and she wasn`t laughing either). And only at the end of the song, he was very quickly glimpsing at me, as if to check how I was reacting or something like that.
I do think, also with the look-exchange that had been going on on monday (I incidentally had seen him on an open air then, but there were more performers, too,), that I donīt know, if it was a mere joke, not meaning anything at all, he sure was reacting weirdly to it.
Of course it is still all very vague.
Anyway I did not talk to him afterwards (I would not have adressed this incidence, but rather would have just congratulated him on the show), for once because there were some fans waiting for autographs, and more importantly, I saw that his girlfriend was spotting me and immediately moving closer to where he was standing.
Uoh, I am realy not a threat. it was just *something* he sort of blurted out, maybe he did not even know himself WHY he wrote it down. So of course I left instantly.
WEll, I did want o leave some response though, so I left a short comment on his facebook page about enjoying the show. Nothing personal, just friendly-neutral, if he associates my face with my facebook picture, he would know it was me, and I hoped this comment showed, that first of all I was okay with that "joke" on friday. I just did not want to leave it without a total response, even though of course i responded to the whole show, as the nice person I am.
Well, to my surprise he actually liked my comment.
Before I got the impression that he only likes comments of people he knows personally, so that was a surprise, but a pleasant one, and maybe i am reading too much subtext where there is none, but to me this just spells: It`s alright.
The Sun as outcome is interesting, had that in the other spread, when I asked how he wants that connection to evolve, too. Sun as focal card (and when I asked tarot, Igot the Sun again). lol
For now I interprete that simply as the recognition that took place, mutually, and that at least for now we have left this vague, elusive, unspoken connection behind.
I suppose it means at least that he knows who I am or actually he really notices me when I show up, and it is not just my delusional thinking.
But of cours ethat is really all.
It also sucks, cause of course this had to take place, now that it is too late, right?