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Author Topic:   something odd happened
celticfyre
Knowflake

Posts: 593
From: VA,USA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted May 08, 2008 12:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for celticfyre     Edit/Delete Message
First I have to apologize as I cannot find my original thread on this topic but I wanted to let you all know what the result was and then ask what you think.
To recap--I posted about writing down my negative feelings about this person that is the bane of my existence on paper everything that I would want to say to her and then burning it thus essentially consigning her to God-the Universe to deal with her as I no longer could. I was also afraid of bring bad karma back onto myself and was reassured by many of you that would not be the case.

Oka,y so to bring you up to speed after a few more weeks of major tension between the two of us and mostly aimed at me by her it was reaching a head and I basically was persevering to be the bigger person while she retreated and hid like a child who was not getting attention as I chose to ignore her and she continued to make it all my fault. Well, I basically resolved myself that I was more than willing to make a positive resolution and talk with her but if she continued to act like a spoiled child I was not going to feed into her behaviour---for my own sake as well as I have energy that is better devoted to other things and I don't need her sapping all of it.

Well, something has happened that makes me think my consignment was answered. She has sustained an injury that will keep her out of commission for at least 3 months. Now when I consigned her I did nothing to wish her ill will and in fact I was beginning to wonder of I was even heard as it seemed to be taking a while as the tension was continuing to grow and things getting to be unbearable. The odd thing about this injury it usually occurs with a little more force exerted (she ruptured her plantaris tendon while pushing open a gate.)I couldn't help but wonder-since a friend told me "God works in mysterious ways" and I couldn't help but to think there was a divine hand in this somewhere. Because I truly feel this individual needs to learn some lessons, the last time she caused trouble she wound up going out for surgery and was gone from our firehouse for a couple of months.
So anyway I wanted to get you alls take on this situation.


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ML
~~~~~~~~~~~
"In my end is my beginning"
Mary,Queen of Scots

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hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 2137
From: The Ether
Registered: Jan 2006

posted May 08, 2008 01:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
She sent out ugly energy and got it back..

"Instant karma's going to get you" Lennon~~~

Probably did not have anything to do with you, just her and her negative energy assults.

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celticfyre
Knowflake

Posts: 593
From: VA,USA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted May 08, 2008 01:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for celticfyre     Edit/Delete Message
ahh----yes so simple, but believe you are right. And oddly enough this is a recurring pattern for her out on medical leave 6 times in less than three years..one would think one would learn Thanks for the reply!

------------------
ML
~~~~~~~~~~~
"In my end is my beginning"
Mary,Queen of Scots

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hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 2137
From: The Ether
Registered: Jan 2006

posted May 18, 2008 10:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
I want to bump this cause I see so many people just do not get this principal.

Energy is SO simple.

Alot of folks think that they will recieve, good or bad in the direct capacity that they put out.

For instance if someone punches someone else, they may expect to be puched. Not necessarially so!

A former friend of mine, does not treat people well. He lies, he is all about him...

He is loosing his financial capabilities. His once lucrative profession is now almost non existant and he blames others for it. His business deals and ventures turn sour on him..and he blames others for it.

The Universe is do perfectly ordered, all things balance in the end....

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Kat
Knowflake

Posts: 984
From: Cleveland, Ohio
Registered: Jan 2003

posted June 28, 2008 10:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kat     Edit/Delete Message
Careful, watch your thoughts. Avoid thinking your better or maybe soon you'll get an answer/challenge that says that you need some healing also.

We all exist for the sole purpose of giving and recieving love. If people are not loving towards you and it upsets you, what is really happening is that person is revealing your own unhealed issues. It has nothing to do with the other person, only your own responses. all actions are either love or a call for love. Her unskilled behavior was a call for love and understanding though it may have been warped. How did you respond and how are you responding now?

All of our actions come/flow from a set of beliefs that we hold about ourselves. It is usually very subconscious. It is deeply felt and usually not verbalized. If you deeply deeply believe something about yourself or how people will respond to you, you will automatically make decisions and actions that are in alignment with that belief. It's the line squeeze lemons and get lemonade. or hurt people hurt people. Your state of BEING affects what you DO and then what you get or HAVE. Nothing happens from outside of yourself. Karma or cause and effect is the natural result from your state of being. Keep in mind, you really do not know what she holds in her heart so forgive her and recognize that " I don't need her sapping all of it." is an incorrect thought that she somehow has power over this situation. She has obviously been an issue because you're writing this thread. The only perception and behavior that can be changed here is your own.

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bilbo
Knowflake

Posts: 46
From: ireland
Registered: May 2008

posted June 28, 2008 10:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for bilbo     Edit/Delete Message
i'm printing this, well said kat. advice of gold.

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Anam
Knowflake

Posts: 10
From: Phoenix, AZ USA
Registered: May 2008

posted June 28, 2008 11:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Anam     Edit/Delete Message
When I'm having issues with someone I do this exercise. It always works.


THE COMPASSION EXERCISE

Objective: To increase the amount of compassion in the world.


With your attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is seeking some happiness for (his or her) life.

With your attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is trying to avoid suffering in (his or her) life.

With your attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person has known sadness, suffering, and despair."

With your attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is seeking to fill (his or her) needs."

With your attention on the person, repeat to yourself: "Just like me, this person is learning about life."


Variations:


Done by couples to increase understanding of each other.

Done on old enemies and antagonists still present in one's memories.

Done on alien life forms.

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Fishtail
Knowflake

Posts: 53
From: Somewhere
Registered: Nov 2004

posted July 02, 2008 09:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Fishtail     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks Anam. Was feeling quite terrible today because of conflict in working styles in the workplace. Also tried very hard to adhere to time, but can't seem to meet deadlines and at the same time I know that linear time is not the truth. So I was reminding myself to practice forgiveness towards the other person but it was a hard lesson to learn.

But I'm glad I chanced upon this thread. It cheers me up to know that I'm not the only person who believes in love as the basis of all relationships. I believe that the other person knows that as well, yet her actions has been contrary to what thinks.

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26taurus
Knowflake

Posts: 14528
From: *
Registered: Jun 2004

posted July 02, 2008 02:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for 26taurus     Edit/Delete Message
Thank you Anam!

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ellabelle97
Knowflake

Posts: 86
From: Frederick, MD
Registered: Mar 2008

posted July 03, 2008 03:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ellabelle97     Edit/Delete Message
Kat,

when you said this

" If people are not loving towards you and it upsets you, what is really happening is that person is revealing your own unhealed issues."

Is that going along with the concept that this other person is acting as a mirror? And when one says mirror, is it that the other person is mirroring your own actions or acting that way towards you because of what..? your energy, your vibe or...?

What you wrote is beautiful, would you care to elaborate?

I'm trying to wrap my brain around this

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Kat
Knowflake

Posts: 984
From: Cleveland, Ohio
Registered: Jan 2003

posted July 03, 2008 03:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kat     Edit/Delete Message
Ellabella97
Actually it's not exactly a mirror because it/they may not be reflecting exactly what you need to know or it may not be immediately clear. Only know that at any time you are upset, angry, frustrated, etc. by someone else you are projecting. That is you are not acknowledging or seeing your own issues so instead of dealing with yourself, you see problems with or try to fix someone else. There is a line in the Course of Miracle - "I am not upset for the reason I think." (If this interests you, I recommend the book - Love is Letting Go of Fear.)

Here's a situation that may help understand this better. Years ago I worked with a woman who was very bold, well-paid, attractive, drove a black sports car with black leather interior... Men swooned over her and she thought nothing of swatting them away while she belittled them, she put other people down and made negative comments about what they wore or how they looked, yet she was as charming as could be. and of course I hated her. Couldn't stand her. How could men just love her - If they only knew how little she respected them and went through them like a roll of life savers. This is what I thought. Then one day I got the idea to make a list of why I hated her because I heard that this is good way of seeing how you're projecting. On one side I wrote the title I dislike her because..... She's arrogant, uses men and I'd never do this, makes alot of $, buys herself nice stuff...Then your supposed to erase the title and change it to I dislike myself because.... but the info didn't completely mirror over. I realized I disliked her because she was bold, self-assured, went after what she wanted,treated herslef as royalty and I was pretty mousey back then and wouldn't dare to have the audacity to be so confident in myself. i learned that that is what I needed for myself and I could leave the mistreatment of others out of the picture and still strive to be fair. Strangely after I realized this, I started like her better, and I would actually have some decent interactions with her. I understood that the problem was with my perception of her. By paying attention to what needed to healed within myself, it made more room for understanding and compassion with her.

As to your question is that person acting toward you... your energy, vibe, etc. --- i think it has to do with your own perception picking and choosing to see and experience what you do. You focus on what you focus on because of your own experience and belief system. I work with someone now who is a bully- she warps what people say to some sort of distortion that others are being mean or mistreating her??. She will bark and B--ch like a mad dog. You can hear her chew out someone over the phone in the most unpleasant way. Somehow whatever people say or do gets distorted/ filtered into her own reality. My guess is that she probably feels overlooked, entitled, unsure of herself and was harshly treated by someone. Fortunately things are changing with her and she has been extremely pleasant since she got married. The office is a happier place.She provided many opportunities for forgiveness and not taking issues personally.

Yes, different people show up in your life with the same personality until you are better skilled in dealing with yourself and how you respond to that situation and they will continue to show up even after you learn to deal with the situation because everyone is projecting and has some healing to do. (We all have problems.)How capable you are in dealing with them and yourself will be what changes.

Now for the people that keep subconciously or consciously getting into the same circumstances..... Well I don't have enough time to write on this. But I hope I helped without sounding too preachy.

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Bad_Jelly
Knowflake

Posts: 27
From: UK
Registered: Mar 2008

posted July 05, 2008 05:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Bad_Jelly     Edit/Delete Message
Top posts Anam and Kat!

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ListensToTrees
Knowflake

Posts: 5059
From: Infinity
Registered: Jul 2005

posted July 05, 2008 06:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ListensToTrees     Edit/Delete Message
Great thread!

Such love and wisdom here!

------------------
The truth
is a brilliant, many-sided diamond.
The great life fills this gem and colors from every side.
Mystics, messengers, and sages and teachers of all ages, races and beliefs have spoken of a different face of this common Eternal Truth.

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celticfyre
Knowflake

Posts: 593
From: VA,USA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted July 05, 2008 09:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for celticfyre     Edit/Delete Message
Been reading with interest.Have thought that with my nemesis the reason she acts the way towards me that she does,is the fact is I am what she is not and she wants that or that she hates I can do what she cannot (or believes she cannot) As I believe we all have the same opportunity to become whatever we like to be the only thing that ruly holds ourselves back is ourself.Then I in turn hate the behaviour that a comes out of her thus it brings me down to a darker level of myself that I don't like to be and prefer not to live there --which is why I get so angry with her. We all have a dark side there is no two ways about it its just there are those that can rise above it and live in the light and that is where I prefer to operate and hate being drug down to the shadows be others---there are times I go there without anyone else help myself and I get myself out but I hate being put there by others and that is what makes me angry ---that I allow it to happen thus I am mad at myself really and not the other person. does that make any sense?

------------------
ML
~~~~~~~~~~~
"In my end is my beginning"
Mary,Queen of Scots

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Kat
Knowflake

Posts: 984
From: Cleveland, Ohio
Registered: Jan 2003

posted July 07, 2008 05:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Kat     Edit/Delete Message
Keep in mind that what she is experiencing or what the true cause or motivation of all of this is irrelevant.Only your response should be examined. You can only control your own behavior and your own responses.

You said " I in turn hate the behavior that comes out of her thus it brings me down to a darker level of myself" ... " I hate being put there by others and that is what makes me angry."

What??? What?????where's the responsibility for your own response or views? Did she hold a knife to you and told you how to feel, think and respond? Even if she did hold a knife to you, you are only a victim if you choose to be. Your perception is seeing her in control when you really always have a choice in the matter. You could have shifted your perception of the situation and chose to act accordingly.
I strongly recommend some healing work that focuses on empowerment and skilled proactive behavior. You may want to get the book I recommended above. Unity is a great church that would also help.

Best of Luck in this situation, though skills will help you go far. Each time you learn a little more the better it will get.

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