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dorkus_malorkus
Knowflake

Posts: 1061
From: Hopelessly lost........
Registered: Jun 2003

posted July 15, 2003 11:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for dorkus_malorkus     Edit/Delete Message
things have not been going well for me lately. so if you don't mind, i'm just gonna let some stuff out. everyone's been giving me a hard time lately. i went to see family, they picked my mom and me up and well they just brought out the worst in me i guess. i've never felt i could share anything with my family, they're always bitchin' bout something, i try to be super nice and they say "hey don't get an attitude problem" or something like that. they're always trying to change me, i do nothing wrong, i go to but oh its a big deal coz i havent developed socially and for some reason thats a big problem and they have to make a production out of it. i live in a very small town and i hate it here, there is nothing to do, and the people are all kind of stuffy. i go to school everyday, i dont smoke or do drugs, or drink, i think im a good kid. another family member close to my age, oh yeah she's popular, you think anyone gives her a hard time? she's 19, lives with her parents, parties every other day, steals, but her parents let her get away with everything. i live with my mentally disabled mother and not only do i have to listen to her scream at me all the time, she has to get her friends and family in on it. they all basically hate me coz i'm a little slow, they laugh at my beliefs and expect me to follow all their religious ideals. they say i have a problem with my eating habits when in fact it is them who have weight problems. i've looked at things from all possible angles and can't seem to see where they are coming from. it seems at times the worlds is aginst me and i'm sick of it, look i'm sorry but i have no one else to tell about my mundane problems.

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bauschd
Knowflake

Posts: 232
From: Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
Registered: Jun 2003

posted July 16, 2003 12:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for bauschd     Edit/Delete Message
They don't seem mundane. Sometimes it can feel like the world is out to get us. I can't think of any advice to cheer you up, except that everything is temporary. I find that most people try to hurt others because they are insecure about themselves, so as victims, we should try to remember this. By letting it flow off your back, and always appearing tranquil, you can get them to be more upset, but at the same time, you may rub off on them. Never listen to anything that appears negative... try to be positive back, or change the subject to something that they might like. If all else fails, retreat. I never talk to people that put me down, but in the case of family, it can be hard.

Just try to be stronger than they are

------------------
Love and Light to aLL
My numerology program according to "Star Signs" by LG.

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super_bull
Knowflake

Posts: 256
From: nowhereland
Registered: Jun 2003

posted July 16, 2003 03:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for super_bull     Edit/Delete Message
hi dorky!
cheer up.
i really dont know how to begin or what to say,but i can tell u from my own experience that GOD is never unfair;u just need to be strong enough.
remember,GOD always gives severe trials to those who have the ability to overcome them.maybe all this is happening so as to cancel out the bad karma of ur past incarnation.
as for ur relatives,FORGET THEM.
whenever they start making u their punching bag ,just think of something that brings u peace and calm.exercise self control and dont react to their barbs.if u can , just give them ur most charming smile it will confuse them more than anything else can.
u really deserve for saying no to drugs and drinks.
remember PATIENCE CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS.

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Twin Lady
Knowflake

Posts: 624
From: USA
Registered: Jan 2003

posted July 16, 2003 03:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Twin Lady     Edit/Delete Message
Well said bauschd!

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N_wEvil
unregistered
posted July 16, 2003 05:51 AM           Edit/Delete Message
Yep - seeing you maintain your cool will irritate them more than anything!

Just grit your teeth, and affirm to yourself every day that you will not always feel like this, and that everything is transitory.

One last thing - RubyRedRam was telling me this the other day - if you get someone to say "i am weak" twenty times, and then get them to put their arm up and try to drag it down, it'll be easy.

Get them to say "i am strong" twenty times and try the same thing, and apparently the difference is quite incredible.

Never affirm to yourself "i'm not the sharpest tool in the box" - the simple fact you're here and talking about this denotes intelligence and you dont sound "slow" in your written style, so whoever told you that either had a superiority complex or something else funny going on in their heads. You'll probably find this harsher environment leaves you better able to deal with things than most people in the future.

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lovelyleo
Knowflake

Posts: 14
From: SoCal
Registered: Jul 2003

posted July 16, 2003 04:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lovelyleo     Edit/Delete Message
This too shall pass. Untold hapiness surely lies in your future for you are paying your dues with suffering now. Thank goodness relatives are not our only family here on earth! To me you seem in need of a protector... one to take you underwing and help you navigate stormy skies. I hope that one finds you soon.

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dorkus_malorkus
Knowflake

Posts: 1061
From: Hopelessly lost........
Registered: Jun 2003

posted July 16, 2003 06:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for dorkus_malorkus     Edit/Delete Message
Hey thanks all you guys that posted, I feel better already. Although I'm really nervous about this job I'm supposed to be getting, I hear the boss is super strict and he yells, but I'm gonna try and make the best of it! Thanks again all!

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trillian
Knowflake

Posts: 4050
From: The Boundless
Registered: Mar 2003

posted July 16, 2003 09:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for trillian     Edit/Delete Message
When I was taking astrology lessons, I managed to learn a thing or two from my teacher that weren't about astrology.

One thing: Words and thoughts have power. That which you speak can manifest.
For instance, never say "I'll buy it cheap." Cheap is cheap! Rather, say, "I'll buy it inexpensively." Now...the reason I say that is to lead to....

What I would suggest to you is to remember your importance in life, and the importance of every living being in your life. They all serve some purpose...it's YOUR life, YOUR drama, we all just share the stage. Even using the lower case "i" rather than "I" when refering to yourself indicates placing too little value on YOU.

I've seen your photos, you're a cute girl, and I know it seems like BS now, but all this teenage angst will some day translate into something that just makes you more interesting!

Remember, you can't change anyone but yourself. And if you change your perspective, you've changed the world!

Best Wishes!

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bauschd
Knowflake

Posts: 232
From: Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
Registered: Jun 2003

posted July 16, 2003 11:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for bauschd     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
If you change your perspective, you've changed the world!

Awesome

Actually, a side note, ever notice that something that has some awe is awesome, but what is something provoking complete awe? AWFUL Probably the words are unrelated, but I think there's a hidden meaning. My interpretation is that true awe is subtle. Blunt awe is, well, awful

------------------
Love and Light to aLL
My numerology program according to "Star Signs" by LG.

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proxieme
unregistered
posted July 17, 2003 07:13 PM           Edit/Delete Message
Well, I think that you're cool.
And, I mean, I rock, so that should be enough

Kidding, kidding.

Take no mind to your detractors, friend; they're stuck in their own problems. Look at them clearly and square in the eye to see them as they are - suffering, striving human beings, just like you (and the rest of us). It's on them if they wish to take that out on you. Then, take a good look at yourself - see the spark of divinity there (and it's there, I promise). Next, if you've not been blinded by the pure brilliance of that, look around and see the same in everyone around.

*steps off of soapbox*
*big ole' hug to ya*

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dorkus_malorkus
Knowflake

Posts: 1061
From: Hopelessly lost........
Registered: Jun 2003

posted July 18, 2003 02:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for dorkus_malorkus     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks all, maybe I've been too blind to see that there are actually some nice people left in the world...

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anafaery
Knowflake

Posts: 864
From: west coast, yummy rain forest, canada
Registered: Jun 2003

posted July 19, 2003 04:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for anafaery     Edit/Delete Message
dorkus, oh how i feel for you. i too have experienced the same upbringing! i *knew* in the first post i read of yours that we shared something in common, heh. just felt drawn to you, and i can sense your hurt, because i have known it, and still do to some extent. my family... just bites. they are really some of the most awful people, with a few exceptions.

did you not mention that your chiron was in gemini, or in the third house? that would explain your saying 'i am slow' when you are most assuredly not, and nowhere *close* to unintelligent, unless someone else has been posting on your behalf lol.

i have posted some stuff to you in various threads in the astro forum. i hope they help you somewhat.

if you ever want to email me feel free. im glad you are here, there are so many people that really are good people... and they care.

i wanna say that bausch and trillian and prox, i agree with everything you have said!

superbull i agree with you to some extent (and i like you so its hard for me to do this), but i have a difference of belief about the karma issue. i have a hard time believing that karma is black and white, i think that its not as simple as 'i am a victim in this life because i was a bad person in my past life'. i think if someone was a bad person in a past life, they would be again, until they really made an effort at some point within an incarnation to be decent. i dont think that you can change 'alignment' in the 'ethers' and just be born as a decent person if you were rotten before. i think it follows you around until you change it, and if you manage to change your ways and eventually become a good person in this life, you will be in the next.

i believe that when good people have bad karma, its because there is a lesson that they need to learn to give them the experience that is required for this journey or following ones. i am not suggesting that good people dont sometimes do bad things, and yes we would have to learn to not do those, and karma will 'set us up' for those lessons. but by and large if a good person has an extreme amount of bad 'luck' or 'karma' i dont think its fair to suggest to them that it is all their fault because they were bad in a previous life. that can lead to depression and a very unhealthy self image. i speak from experience. i thought i was such a bad person in my last life (before i gained a clearer understanding) that i put myself through endless self torture, because in my very core i HATE hurting others and the thought that i might have, even if it were in a past life, was far too much for me to bear.

when i grew older and wiser i realized that i probably wasnt all that bad... but i still needed to learn certain lessons, and some you cannot get in books. in my past lives i would have had to be a VERY bad person, and i do not believe that, not for one second, knowing who i am now. i do acknowledge and accept that there are lessons i need to learn, and i will do so as graciously as i can, in as timely a manner as i can.

i spoke of it in a thread about mothers i think, but my mother has some heavy karma involvement to me. with regard to my aries moon, taurean saturn, and other placings in my chart, i believe that i had a bad mother because i needed to learn to not be dependant on others emotionally. perhaps rather than being bad to my mother in a past life, i was overly dependant on her, and this time round i need to learn to depend on my own strenghts. perhaps thats my lesson, and the only way i could let go of her is to have her abuse me in some way so that id have a strong motivation to go it on me own. thats just very basic but thats the gist. if i had of kept in a relationship with her it would have destroyed my ego and made me pretty much a dependant slave of sorts. staying would have affected her karma as she would have abused me more i am sure... so in effect, ive taken responsibility and separated us so that neither is doomed to adversely affect the other. i dont know what karma will bring to her for treating me so... but it has nothing to do with me anymore. shes on her own now. if her being so awful was only to set me up so i could learn my lesson, undoubtedly her next life will have some rewards for her 'sacrifice'. however i think that she needed to learn the lesson of placing others needs before your own ego. im sure its all taken care of, saturn is never sloppy nor careless. unless hes in aquarius or pisces jk jk

i just dont want people to put up with abusive situations because they feel they deserve it because they must have done the same in a past life and need to 'repay'. we do not need to repay if we 'get' the lesson, the lesson isnt to be a martyr or a slave, and by refusing to be a punching bag it frees both souls. it is most healthy. i know you didnt suggest that a person should stay, i mentioned this in case someone out there might have that idea... we never know who is lurking and i believe what trillian said about words having power, and i hope these words have enough power to give a person strength if they need it.

~faery

ps trillian i know i use predominantly lower case including for the article 'i'... i do have reason for that

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dorkus_malorkus
Knowflake

Posts: 1061
From: Hopelessly lost........
Registered: Jun 2003

posted July 20, 2003 12:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for dorkus_malorkus     Edit/Delete Message
Wow ana, once again you are right! I'm sorry if I haven't been able to get back to all of your posts, but I've been...elsewhere lol

I think you're a respectable person, keep the posts coming! Heheh, my mom and I do the thrift store thing too. She'll be all "Gimme $2 for these shoes I'm never gonna wear!" and she'll grab all this stupid crap. I love thrift stores so I'm like, "Hey, bring your own damn money!" but I usually end up buying her a few things. Hey, if it'll bring meaning to her life. My mom does have a gambling problem though. In fact, most of my hard earned money caters to her gambling problem through force. Oh well, whatever.

Anyway, give ol' dorkus a hug! Laters!

P.S. You are right about Chiron in Gem, but it is in the 10th house! Whatever!

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